i stayed awake until the the early morning watching beautiful movies and suddenly the world is looking much more cinematic.

my life is going through a lot of changes right now and i think it feels particularly difficult because i am within the period of change. i’m starting a new job, but i still have a month of school. i’m moving in a month, but i’m still in my current apartment. it’s liminal in a way that isn’t quite comfortable. i find myself wishing that it could just be july and i could be settled into my new situation and just skip all the actual change which is in opposition to my normal way of walking through life— moment to moment. in spite of all this stress, this past month i’ve been knitting, going to salsa classes, learning violin repair (vs new making), and got to go get tea with my friends. trying to stay present despite all the worry for the future

🎧: bright as yellow—the innocence mission

had a rude realization that i never shared pics of my clown dolls on here ,,,, what am i even doing

this january i’ve been finding solace in routine. school, work, salsa night, occasional fiddle nights, and a new addition of watching hockey & knitting with my friend. i always find myself out of sorts during the holidays and while it is good to have a break and see friends and family back home, returning to my quiet life in boston is refreshing. another welcome change has been getting up and making coffee in the morning. this fall i’ve been struggling to get up on time and have been at least 30 minutes late to school every day (fortunately there are no consequences because i take attendance) but still. mornings always seem rushed. i got a tip from my friend who also struggles to simply get up and move to the couch and sit quietly or have some phone time there. essentially you don’t have to actually get up yet, but you aren’t in bed and won’t fall back asleep as easily. my morning now consists of sitting on the couch and making a coffee prior to showering or getting dressed. a nice addition to my routine.

a highlight of the summer was a trip to italy with my best friend and their family! we went to rome, cremona, and florence. while in florence we met up with a family friend who is living and working there as a sculptor. it felt empowering to see how much they value craftsmanship in italy, especially as an aspiring violin maker. from the architecture to the sculptures to the paintings it all reinforced the idea that artistry isn’t solely based in creativity, but instead knowing and being skilled within your craft.

7. 7. 2025

been out of the city for less than 48 hours and already feeling a bit more like a person

for it is only in my dreams i can put my insides on display.

some light journaling before i rewatched moonlit winter and cried my eyes out