Phoe's Art and Creative Corner

Phoe rant incoming because I've been seeing this discourse over the last few days, and I have certain...feelings regarding it.

The rundown: Recently on Twitter I've been seeing people lamenting about their fics not getting a lot of traction or engagement, and how it's made them feel like not wanting to continue. Original poster asked for advice on how to deal with it. A lot of people responded with, 'Write for yourself'. I've also seen a lot of pushback against this advice, calling it unhelpful, and that the whole point of writing and publishing fics is to get engagement and interact with the community, etc, etc.

I'm very firmly in the camp of 'write for yourself' (or really, 'create for yourself' since I do a lot of things, not just writing). I mainly write and publish original fiction, but I still feel the advice applies regardless.

Before I explain my position, let me start with what might be a hot take: I feel like a lot of fanfic writers in particular come off as more than a little entitled and attention whore-y, and with the complaints about their work not getting any engagement, it really comes off as them writing largely to get attention and pats on the back. Yeah, of course they love what they're writing, otherwise why write it in the first place, but the fact that their love is so heavily reliant on getting attention and praise says enough.

I've not written fanfiction in like 20 years - the bulk of what I write is original, focusing on my own worlds, my own characters. I published my first fantasy novel in 2021. To date, it's only sold maybe 100 copies and gotten a handful of reviews (good ones, though!). Not the blockbuster some people would hope for, but when I didn't even expect to sell even 10 copies, passing the 100 mark made me insanely happy. I've written and produced stuff since, but compared to fanfiction and compared to people with large followings, my work doesn't get a lot of looks. Does it sting? Oh, yeah. It does. It definitely does. Do I wish I got more interaction? Yeah, of course. Who doesn't? But I write for myself, mostly. Popularity is nice, but it's not expected; I keep expectations pretty low.

But Phoe! Why else would you write and publish something if you didn't want people to see it, engage with it, and tell you how much they loved it? Well... For someone who writes for themselves or creates for themselves, the praise and engagement is incidental - it's secondary. A person who creates for themselves will be writing, drawing, or whatever regardless of whether they get interaction or not. Why share it? Well, if you're proud of something you've done, you're gonna show it off, right? It's proof of its existence. Maybe people love it, maybe people don't. Maybe people don't notice it at all. And that's fine. It's there. It's in the open. It's proof that you've finished something; the idea is no longer just sitting in your head, or sitting hidden away in a cloud drive or a sketchbook somewhere.

You create for yourself to get ideas out of your head. You create for yourself because you really like something and its important to you. You create for yourself to make something that didn't exist real. You're still allowed to be disappointed when people don't react the way you'd like them to, or not getting any traction. But not every idea is a winner. Not everything you do will be beloved. And that's okay. What's important is that you keep going.

But what about being able to engage with the community? Dude. I've actively avoided engaging with most fandom communities for almost 20 years because a lot of fandoms end up being incredibly childish and toxic. Homestuck, RWBY, TADC, Voltron - and that's not even getting into even bigger fandoms like in anime. Fandom interaction is kind of overrated. >_> (except the BSC fandom - they're pretty chill, but it helps that it's a small fandom).

Not saying people are wrong for wanting to engage with fandom communities with fanfic, but if that's your primary reason for writing and the thought of your work flopping demoralizes you from wanting to keep writing...well. Not gonna say you're not a real writer, but I will say that you might be a bit spoiled. The creative world can be harsh, and a lot of times it's going to feel like you're just pouring your heart out into a void. But the reality is, you gotta learn how to take it in stride, move on, and keep making things.

When I started writing and publishing my own stuff, I made the conscious decision to not write anything explicit in anything I officially published for my Mystgarde and Errant Chronicles works. I did this for several reasons.

1) I wanted to distance myself from that kind of reputation. Not sure if you're aware, but once you're known for producing that kind of content, it often affects the rep of anything else you do. This works the same way in other creative fields too like art or acting. If I write anything smutty officially, it's likely going to be under a pseudonym.

2) The style of stories I write feel more suited to Young Adult fiction. Yeah, YA has a bit of a reputation but the themes of what I tend to do seems right up that alley. I wanted to have a broader appeal and not risk potentially alienating too many people with super mature subject matter. Not that I'm averse to writing subject matter or themes regarding sex or sexuality, but when you're a good writer, you find ways of sneaking in or hinting that characters did stuff without being super obvious about it. >_>

3) People get weird when it comes to NSFW stuff; not 'haha awkward' kind of weird. More like 'creepy sexpest' levels of weird or 'uncomfortable fixation' levels of weird. It's especially bad if you're a woman in this space writing smut because people tend to interpret it as you being a nympho freak or a slut not deserving any shred of dignity or humanity. Dealt with that kind of attitude and bullying before - not dealing with it again.

That being said, I'm not averse to writing smut. Like I said, I'm pretty good at it. Funnily enough, a friend didn't believe me and challenged me to write something. And I have been. >_>

But I'm very discerning. If I'm gonna write something like that, I want it to be a proper story with build-up and chemistry to make the pay-off even better. Not gonna judge people for just wanting the dirty stuff, but when it comes to literary porn, I want quality. :P

Will I show off said writing at some point? Maybe. It's not fanfiction, and it revolves around two of my OCs, and I know most people don't know or don't care, so it's whatever. >_>

All done! Wheee!

Also, I lied - it ended up being an A4-sized illustration since I wanted to be able to show off my background painting. Hard to believe a few years ago, I hated doing backgrounds. Then I forced myself to do them, and now I'm not half-bad. I also really like being able to show off more personality for my characters and tell a bit of a story as opposed to having them just in a white void. >_>

Trying to get into the habit of doing smaller (A5 size) illustrations of my various characters to show off their personalities and tell stories a bit more.

Since it's summer, and I may have been, uh...'inspired' by other beach illustrations, I decided to try doing a series of Team Valiant illustrations. WIP of a surfer Brian illustration where I try giving him a different hairstyle.

So I've been drawing a lot of bug people in recent months.

A while back, I decided to challenge myself and make more of an effort to draw more non-human-looking humanoids since I wanted to have a greater variety of NPCs for my TTRPG campaigns. In addition to this and the Hollow Knight bug-sonas, I've gotten, uh...a LOT of requests for bug people in the last while (no, seriously, the bulk of my art commissions in the last 4 months have been bug people), and I think it's because I'm a lot more willing to go on the more buggy side of insectoids.

Anyway. Meet Regina Edgerly - fuzzy bumblebee lady and former Queen of Spades in the Suits. An ex-assassin that's turned a new leaf and works for an independent detective agency called MacGuffin Investigations.

"Show Me Your Tits" - Errant Chronicles Audio Drama

Cast Brian da Silva - ColeCzos Gavin Flaherty - Rudicorn Josh Cartwright - Dg Sara Cartwright/Lei Yao - Phoenecia (Me!)

A little scene where Team Valiant (my group of OCs) has a little...misunderstanding while on a job.

Yeah, I dabble in a little voice acting. I said I'd post these a while ago, and while I wanted to doodle some artwork to go along with these, I, uh...never quite got around to it. So while I'm still working on that, I'll share in the meantime. I've got two more just like it. :3

7. (Errant Chronicles crew) What is your OC's occupation? Team Valiant, which is their team name, are all errants - which is the modern term for adventurers in my setting. It's pretty much what you'd expect from the profession of an adventurer in most fantasy settings, so it involves taking jobs (called contracts) from a public listing, and they can range from things like collecting materials for alchemical rituals, to hunting monsters, to fulfilling weird requests for the local fae. It pays really well, but can be pretty dangerous, and injuries occur pretty often.

Each character also has a part-time job or attending school.

Sara - Works as a bike courier making small deliveries between shops or other clients. Josh - Attends classes and studies psychology at the local university. Lei - Receives cleric training at the local Abbey. Brian - Also attending university for Fae Wild botany (but he skips class a lot because he's already pretty knowledgeable), and is a research assistant for a professor. Gavin - Apprentice forger at one of the local errant equipment shops.

10. (Brian) Does your OC have any physical scars? What is the story behind them? Brian has a few, but the most notable and visible one is a vertical scar bisecting his left eyebrow. Nothing terribly traumatic, but he got it while learning to use a bow as a child. Bowstring snapped and got him in the eyebrow. As terrifying as that experience was, it didn't deter him from learning how to be an archer.

10. (Gavin) Does your OC have any physical scars? What is the story behind them? [Spoilers for Errant Chronicles: The Thousand Year Curse] Oh boy, this is a fun one. As much as I adore him and love writing him, I subject him to so much stuff. So. Gavin's Gift is Regeneration - his body heals rapidly in a fraction of the time it would for normal people, and he heals perfectly, so there's usually no scarring. There ARE some serious side-effects and drawbacks, but that's not what this answer is about. He does have one scar in the middle of his chest over his heart.

How did he get it?

While accompanying Brian on his quest that is the plot of the book, they run into a monster at a lake. In a moment of carelessness, Gavin gets stabbed in the chest and subsequently drowns. He does get better, but it comes at a price, and he's forced to make a deal with a mysterious entity in order to come back to life and save Brian.

The scar is a permanent physical reminder of that deal, among other things that have some serious lasting consequences. >_>