its 5 am and ive been condemned to death

Missed this last year by 50 effing minutes.

Hell yeah I’m scheduling this again.

it’s interesting how wii channel music became shorthand for millennial existential despair. it was composed to be cheerful and quirky, but as the miis are symbolic of ourselves they inherited our agony

as someone who didn’t have a wii are you guys okay

No

incredibly grateful that tumblr doesn’t have a memories feature like every other social media platform because frankly i am terrified to even think about what kind of tomfoolery and hooliganery i was getting into 6 years ago on this website

tumblr’s memories feature is other users, because every once in a while one of you motherfuckers will reblog a post i made in like 2012 and detonate all of my bones like they’re C4

what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who's biting a tree real hard

Maple syrup vampire husband

so it’s the month of may huh?…well if you replaced the ‘m’ in may with ‘g’ well…you ‘may’ be surprised at what you find 😏😏

I love photos of baby albatrosses because in spirit they look like photos of easygoing toddlers who are just waiting for their parents to hand them a toy or a treat after they finish loading groceries into the car

Forever delighted by this.

yk I haven’t met anyone with adhd who isn’t just a fucking comedian like I think everyone with adhd just has the best sense of humor

we gotta be funny so people don’t get annoyed with us as much

Also people just think you’re wild for having thoughts and speaking them out loud we could be eating pizza and I be like “Ya know I wish I could have unlimited pizza just always be able to open up my fridge and have a few cold slices there” and they just die laughing “omg you’re so funny!!!!!!!!!” guys it wasn’t even funny yall just don’t have thoughts