I Miss Evak

confused person looking at snow prints: who the fcuk strapped fucking keyboards to their shoes

police detective examines footprints leading away from the crime ‘why did we ever anger the machines,’ he asks himself sorrowfully

hozier songs are like *blows kiss to the forest* that's for my baby *throws molotov cocktail at car* AND THAT'S FOR THE REVOLUTION

you’re telling me eating tree bark can give me chad jaw?

say what you want about buzzfeed unsolved but lets be honest with ourselves, the theory that shane is a demon and that’s why they never see any real supernatural bullshit is so much funnier then ghosts just not being real

I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it. 

got the munchies like

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

an addition: when they calibrated the board by pressing the dots and everyone in class lost their minds

What in the fuck u guys talking bout

I was checking out at Walmart, and as I was reaching for my bags I said, “Happy Holidays!” And the cashier leaned in like she was sharing a secret and said “Merry Christmas.” So I smiled politely and said, “Blessed Yule!” And the look that spread across her face, you would have thought I’d literally stolen Christmas from her. If you’re going to make a point of wishing me a happy whatever-you-celebrate, I’m going to make a point of wishing you a happy whatever-I-celebrate, and if you think that’s wrong you should consider getting “hypocrite” tattooed across your forehead.

It’s that time of year again

A post I made has officially become an “it’s that time of year again” post and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t honored

bro....sit on my lap and watch me play stardew. bro it's chilly outside, get under the blanket with me. bro what if we drifted off to sleep like this.....bro you're so warm......bro i feel so safe rn