Honestly it's not that bad as it sounds. It takes the eagles about 2 hours to get to my liver and another 2 to eat it. The whole ordeal is over by one and I've got the afternoon to myself.

american workers defending capitalism 

“oh my god you guys are already at it” troy says as he sits down and ilya kisses shane’s cheek and asks sarcastically “sweetheart, did you heard something?” and shane chuckles and says “i don’t think so” and ilya goes “that’s right, we don’t hear jealous homophobic voices” and shane cackles and troy says indignantly “i’m not homophobic, i’m literally gay” and ilya asks “then why are you bothered by two men kissing?” and shane goes “ilya, didn’t you heard it? he only denied the homophobic part, he’s jealous” and ilya fake gasps and says “very good point, shane” and they both look at troy who has a very annoyed expression on his face and he says “you two insufferable are together. and people have no idea what a menace shane hollander truly is” and shane says “if you tell people, no one will believe you” and he gives troy a very cute smile and troy scoffs gobsmacked and ilya goes “now, if you excuse us” and then he turns to shane “where did we leave off?” and troy groans and gets up leaving them.

ilya got absolutely wasted the first time he went out with his friends without shane. he spent the rest of the night drunk dialing shane, whining about how much he loves him and misses him. eventually bood had to drag him home and shane opened the door to find ilya standing there clutching a bunny plushie. shane asked bood “what is that?” and bood just shrugged and said “one of the rookies got it for him at the claw machine because ilya wouldn’t shut up about you being stuck in there or something, weird guy” and shane just accepted it resigned. he then thanked bood and carried ilya to the bathroom to shower him, but ilya refused to let go of the bunny the entire time, holding it tight and crying under the water about how much he missed shane, almost screaming in russian “my bunny, my bunny”. shane tried his best to clean him up but eventually just gave up and took him to bed. the next morning after forcing water, painkiller down his throat and making him breakfast, shane showed ilya the video one of the rookies had sent him. it was just ilya hugging the bunny plushie and sobbing in russian “my little beautiful bunny, i miss my bunny, take me to my bunny please” and shane looked at him and asked “i thought i was a cat?” and ilya just mumbled “you’re anything cute”