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hii I've been looking for a fic I read a while ago that i dont remember a whole lot about but specifically remember ilya and jj talking while shane is out of earshot and ilya being like shane might have forgiven you for thinking he tripped but i havent
Hmmmm this will be tough for me to find with just this detail, but I still tried . Hopefully a follower might find it familiar too.
only two strikes in hockey (we hate you JJ)
JJ shows up at Shane’s house to apologize after he accuses him of throwing the Montreal/Ottawa game. Ilya greets him at the door.
I'm thinking about the first time Shane fully cries in bed. Not just tearing up due to the way Ilya's cock is bullying its way down his throat, not a few overwhelmed tears, not silently weeping while begging Ilya for more, I'm talking the first time he full-breakdown sobs. It doesn't matter what prompted it, maybe it was overstimulation, maybe it was impact play, maybe it was all that combined with a difficult loss or having to face the altered reality of how he's viewed now that his closely guarded secret is out in the open. What matters is that he's been taken past his breaking point. He's fucking wailing and thrashing, guttural sobs coming from deep in his chest, so Ilya pins his arms behind his back, his other hand holding him down by the scruff of the neck, and fucks him even harder. Shane's completely immobile, even as the tears keep coming, even as he breaks down on Ilya's cock. Eventually he comes untouched, a few additional punishing thrusts into his twitching body hurtling Ilya off the edge right after him, Shane's sobs muffled by the pillow as he gasps for every breath. Only he doesn't stop. Ilya gathers him up on his chest, softly strokes his face and shushes him gently, coos at him, tells him how well he did, tells him he's alright, that he's such a good boy, but new tears appear faster than Ilya can wipe them away. He's still shaking, clinging to Ilya's body as though it's his lifeline. The longer he takes to settle, the more Ilya starts to worry. Did he finally take it too far? Is Shane hurt? Is he injured? Ilya's soft reassurances turn into questions. "You're alright," turning to, "sweetheart, are you okay?" But his words hardly seem to register and every time he tries to disentangle himself from Shane to examine him closer he just sobs harder, clings to him with more force. So Ilya does the only thing he can do and keeps petting him, keeps showering him with praise and terms of endearments. Eventually he calms. His sobs turning to whimpers and the occasional choked gasp, and finally just sniffles. When Shane has had several minutes of nothing but deep, slightly wet breaths, his body a dead weight against Ilya's chest, he finally asks again. "Shane, are you alright?" The response is a prolonged hum and a softly slurred "'m so good." He's never been better. He feels a million pounds lighter. He's just gone through full-blown emotional catharsis. He's exhausted but, honestly, he feels like Ilya's arm around his waist is the only thing tethering him to his body; like without it he might just float away. He falls asleep in Ilya's arms and when he wakes up he feels different. More settled in his body. A deep calm within him. That feeling stays with him the whole day. He's a little quiet, a little reserved, a little clingy, but there's a calm contented relief emanating from him. At one point he crawls onto Ilya's lap, kisses his neck, nuzzles into him, and simply says "thank you. Last night was amazing," and Ilya feels the last of his anxiety over the whole ordeal melt away. Thank God. Because now that he knows for certain that Shane liked it, he can finally admit to himself just how fucking hot he found it.
As much as I believe Shane's preferred term of endearment for Ilya is "baby", and as much as it's what we use for Shane I truly truly in my heart of hearts choose to believe that Ilya would call Shane "My Shane" just all the time.
"My Shane, I am picking up oat milk from the store. Do we need anything else?"
"What's wrong, My Shane? You are frowning so much behind your sexy glasses."
"Yes, My Shane, that's it. You always take it so beautifully."
"My Shane! Tokyo Drift is not boring. You have thirty seconds to apologize to Vin Diesel or I am going to bite you."
He just loves saying it. That name means everything to him, and he gets to use it all the time now because that's literally his Shane.
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#myilya is the biggest gossip you’ve ever met. He is nosy, yappy, and an instigator. He is pretending he doesn’t know the story so he can get all the sides of it. He is blabbing on voice memos to Svetlana. He is deep in some teammate’s ex gf’s instagram, terrified of accidentally liking something. He is mad at Shane because Shane did not ask follow up questions when Yuna tells him David’s sister is getting a divorce. He is calling Yuna directly to ask follow up questions. When there was that tik tok trend of filming your friends reacting to gossip you’re telling them, he is experiencing a profound level of fomo. He is campaigning for a guest spot on Normal Gossip. This is a man who has never minded his business and I love that for him.
You have 1 new voicemail: Hello Yuna, it’s Ilya. How are you? I am good. So Shane just got home, thank you for leftovers by the way, and he told me that Diana and Rudy are getting divorced. Shane did not know anything else, but I have a feeling you do and I have many questions. Who asked for divorce? I bet it was her, but also when we were at that birthday party last month, she was very quiet, so maybe it was him. Do you think someone cheated? Oh my god, Yuna, do you think she cheated with that coworker she calls her work husband?! Bozhe moi, I cannot wait. Hold on, Yuna. *muffled conversation between Ilya and Shane* Ok, hello, I am back. We are coming over, I will bring wine. We will be there in twenty minutes, see you soon, love you.
Soft butch Jane Hollander finally cutting her nearly hip length hair into a choppy razored wolf cut/shag and Lilya Rozanova legitimately forgetting how to breathe as she slams her rum and coke at a stupid bar in Tampa in a dress she thought would be funny but now looks stupid because god, she’s never even seen Jane in pants let alone the smudgy eyeliner and crisp button down with the sleeves rolled up and wide leg trousers, sunglasses tucked in her cleavage and oh my god, is she wearing a black lacy bra? Can she actually see Jane Fucking Hollander’s Bra ™? Did her awful fucking movie star boyfriend make her change her image?? If he did it would be a weird choice because prissy, perfectly feminine, princess Jane looks gay now. Really fucking gay.
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Off-season break means Shane getting fitted up by brands a lot. And her wife loudly reminding the world that she's a 10 in everything.
Also random addition, absolutely no one my wifes more than Lilya. Especially when she gets to correct people who stop at teammates and linemates. "...and wives. We are also wives. Shane is my wife. Thank you."
shane actually getting angry at hayden for talking shit about ilya. sure some of it is chirping and ilya is also not shy about shit talking hayden but it’s always in good fun but one time hayden says something so malicious and out of line that shane stands up and says hayden i would like you to get out of my house now. you do nothing but insult my husband for some reason even though you know how much i love him and you know he’s good to me and he loves your wife and kids and what you just said was not okay and i don’t feel like talking to you right now so i would like you to leave
and afterwards shane is shaking because he’s not usually interested in having bad blood with anyone or ruining the evening but he’s had to put up with so many people talking shit about the man he loves he just can’t do it anymore
Iyla knows that Shane Hollander has two vices: crazy hot sex with his very handsome boyfriend, and gummy bears. Well, any gummy candy really, but the bears are his favourite. It's a sensory thing more than a taste thing. He loves the chewiness, and he can never just have a handful. If there's a packet open he will finish it.
The problem, Ilya has noticed, is that afterwards he always feels guilty about straying from his perfectly constructed diet plan, and he gets all quiet and in his head for the rest of the day.
But that's when Ilya sees them: sugar free gummy bears. His heart is racing as he adds a bulk box of them to his cart. He even buys a cute jar to keep all the packets in and a gift box and everything. He hits 'buy' thinking that he's about to get such a good grade in boyfriend.
And he does! When Ilya arrives at Shane's house ahead of the Montreal/Boston game later that day, he looks delighted as he opens the gift box to see the jar full of gummy bears. And when Ilya explains that they're sugar free, Shane's eyes get all sparkly along the waterline in that way that tells Ilya he's gotten something so right.
Unfortunately, those of you who know what happens when you eat sugar free gummy bears will know that Shane has been handed a ticking time bomb. But as Ilya's kissed against the refrigerator so hard that half of Shane's magnets clatter to the floor, as he's dragged off to Shane's room, Ilya thinks he's absolutely aced it.
He's warming up before the game later and can't help but notice that Shane is nowhere to be found. He's normally the first on the ice. Did something happen to him? Ilya's whole body suddenly goes cold and he feels that awful pre-throwup feeling, but he tries not to panic. He skates over to Pike who's taking the team through their stretches.
"Where's Hollander?" he asks.
"Why do you care?" asks Pike snippily and Ilya doesn't have time for this right now. He just needs to know that Shane's okay. Or, he realises with a sickening new thought, that Yuna and David are okay.
"Oh you would not care if the Boston captain was not on the ice for some reason?" He's rapidly losing patience, but is trying to hold onto his aloof asshole persona. The Metros have abandoned their stretches, watching the drama unfolding above them and Ilya can feel every camera in the arena on them, waiting for something to happen.
"Probably not, no." Ilya wants to punch him. Oh he wants to punch him now more than ever.
"Just fucking tell me, asshole! I just want to know if he's okay."
"He's got food poisoning," says Pike, drawing himself to his full height, clearly squaring up for a fight. All the fight has gone out of Ilya though.
"Is not possible," says Ilya, without thinking. They had the same boring bland premade chicken from the same Tupperware. If Shane has food poisoning, he should have food poisoning too. It can't have been dinner. Unless...
Fuck. The fucking bears.
"I don't know what to tell you, man," says Pike, and something on Ilya's face must read as real worry because Pike has stopped glaring and now seems to be puzzling something out. "He called me about an hour ago sounding fucking awful wondering if he should go to the emergency room with it."
"What?" He poisoned his boyfriend so badly that he had to go to hospital about it?
"He's okay now I think," says Hayden quickly, sensing his panic. "Well, not okay, but he texted me about five minutes ago to say he thinks the worst is over. Had to sit out the game though, so you'll probably be happy about that."
"Sure, whatever, Pike," he says, too fucking worried and guilty to do anything other than skate numbly away. He wishes he could leave right now, take the fines and just rush to Shane's house to check he's okay. But he can't – there would be absolutely no reason for the Boston captain to rush off the ice right now. It would ruin everything for Shane. And anyway, this should be the best possible outcome for the Raiders.
Ilya ends up playing some of the worst hockey of his whole career. The only time he's played worse was the game he had to play after Shane was carried off the ice on a stretcher. The Raiders lose by an embarrassing margin, the press are gleeful, his team are pissed at him, and he doesn't even care because he just wants to know that Shane is going to be okay when he gets home to him.
Forty minutes after the final whistle, he lets himself in with the code and key Shane has trusted him with.
"Shane! My Shane! Are you okay?" he says, tearing through to the living room looking for him. He's not there. Fuck, what if he went to the emergency room after all? What if he's dying in a bed somewhere all alone? What if—
It's then that he hears a small voice from the bedroom.
"Here, baby."
Ilya starts crying as he makes his way to the room. He can't help himself. He's spent the past three hours feeling sick with worry. He immediately crawls onto the bed and pulls Shane into his arms. Shane starts pressing comforting kisses to his forehead. "Hey, no why are you crying? What happened?"
"What happened?" says Ilya, looking up at Shane incredulously. "I fucking poisoned you, that's what happened! Pike told me you had food poisoning and I knew it wasn't the chicken. It was the fucking bears, right?"
"No," says Shane, and Ilya glares at him. "Okay, it was the bears, but it's not your fault. I went to go look it up when I could finally think again and it turns out that the sugar substitute is a pretty powerful laxative. Some of the reviewers only had a few and were already in trouble."
"How many did you have?" asked Ilya.
"Two whole packets," says Shane with a grimace. "So you see, it's not your fault. It's my fucking gummy bear problem."
"Did you throw the rest out?" asks Ilya, wanting those evil little fuckers as far away from his Shane as possible.
"I did," he says. "Sorry, baby. It was really sweet of you, but I can't do that again."
"Of course you can't," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to Shane's chest. "You are okay now though?"
"I'm okay now. They're out of my system I think. Everything's out of my system probably."
Ilya presses another kiss to Shane's chest.
"Come, let's get you a nice warm shower and then into bed for some proper rest."
He helps Shane shower and wash his hair, knowing he always feels better afterwards, then helps Shane into his comfiest sweatpants and the Raiders tee he stole from Ilya. Once he's in bed, Ilya heads downstairs to get him a Gatorade to help him replenish some of his fluids, as well as some pills to help with the pain. As he throws away the little plastic seal from the pill bottle, he sees them – the rest of the motherfuckers that did this to Shane.
Ilya's never had a blood-feud with a candy before, but he can barely look at them. Deciding he doesn't want them to be under the same roof as Shane for a moment longer, he collects the trash bag and takes it to the garbage bin outside. Good fucking riddance, he thinks, while washing his hands of the murder, and makes his way back to bed.
"You were gone so long," says Shane, snuggling up to Ilya as he sips his drink.
"Had to show those fucking bears who is boss." Shane gives him a curious look. "I emptied trash."
And as Shane laughs and snuggles closer, for the first time since warm-ups, Ilya feels himself relax.
Maybe he's still managed to get a good grade in boyfriend after all.
The plane crashes, Ilya dies. He isn’t met by his mother in the afterlife, no permanent darkness like some speculated, nor is he burning in the fiery pits of hell like others said his kind would. Instead, he opens his eyes to see Shane staring back at him. It takes him a moment but he realizes he’s at his house in Boston. “Are you still up for tuna melts? It’s fine if not.” Ilya’s eyes widen once everything falls into place. He’s been sent back in time to that fateful day when he made a tuna melt for Shane and everything changed between them. He decides he’s not wasting anytime. God or the universe or whatever decided to give him a second chance, and he’s not fucking this up. He makes the tuna melts and when Shane starts to freak out, he stops him. He gently coaxes him back onto the couch and is honest with Shane about how he feels. Well, almost honest. He doesn’t tell Shane he loves him because he thinks Shane will start freaking out again, but he tells Shane he likes him and wants more.
A year later, Shane bolts up from bed. He’s breathing heavily, panting as he tries to collect himself. He looks around and he’s in his Montreal condo, but that’s not right. Wasn’t he on the ice? Wouldn’t they have taken him to the hospital?
“Shane, my love. Are you ok?” Shane turns to see Ilya sitting up next to him, sleepily rubbing his eyes. Shane’s eyes widen as Ilya cups his face. “Have bad dream? Dreaming about Boston beating Montreal on your home ice, hm?” Shane says nothing. He just stares at Ilya for what feels like forever before launching himself into Ilya’s arms. Ilya smiles as Shane hugs him. He wraps his arms around Shane tight and holds him. The smile falls when he realizes Shane is crying. He asks Shane what’s wrong and Shane pulls back to look Ilya in the eyes.
“I thought I’d never see you again, but you’re here. We’re here, together, in the afterlife. We can be together forever.”
The record scratches in Ilya’s brain when Shane mentions the afterlife. He figures Shane must have died in their original world and was brought back here. Ilya tells Shane this isn’t the afterlife. He explains the time travel, how he was brought back to the tuna melt moment after he died, and how they’d been in a committed relationship since then. Ilya asks Shane how he died so soon after him.
Ilya discovers that time moves different here because Shane explains that 5 years had gone by in their original time. He tried his best to keep living on after Ilya died, but nothing filled the hole in his heart. He was just going through the motions, living on autopilot until he collapsed on the ice in the middle of a game. “I guess I died and now I’m here with you,” Shane finishes explaining before crawling onto Ilya’s lap and holding him. He has a second chance and this time the world is going to know how much he loves Ilya Rozanov.
You know what, actually, shane coming out to his team just after spending the summer with Ilya at the cottage, and they’re being weird about it not outright homophobic but there are vibes, right? And then Halloween is just around the corner and everyone is talking about their costumes and somehow it turns into the team harassing Shane about not wearing one. The team says they’ll get him a costume he just has to show up to the team party.
Shane does, trying to mend things, and they shove him in a guest bedroom with a bag. Shane pulls his costume out and feels many conflicting emotions: they bought a pink Rozanov jersey, black booty shorts and fishnets, and then bedazzled white bunny ears with a matching fluffy tail that can be clipped on.
On one hand, this is humiliating. His team is being homophobic and clearly calling him a puckbunny to hurt him. Worse, they don’t know about his relationship with Ilya, so they’re trying to provoke him by using their rivalry.
On the other hand, Shane has been growing more and more pissed off with how they’ve reacted to his coming out. It’s only been a few months and he misses his boyfriend like a missing limb. Shane doesnt want to play anywhere else, but he supposes if his team wants him out, he might as well do so with a bang.
He puts on the costume, drawing as much confidence as he can from his love for his boyfriend, and then he exits the room, going out to confront his team.
“What?” Shane asks when they stare at him, dumbfounded. “You don’t like my costume?”
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Ruby is Shane's biggest fan. She is loud and silly and playful and loves hockey. She is the only pikeling that actually does like hockey. Everytime she sees Shane she makes them bonk heads like her daddy and uncle Shane do on the ice before every game. It is special to her. She asked for a Shane jersey for Christmas. Shane tries to reassure Hayden that it's just bc Ruby likes the authority of the C and that it isn't really about Shane. When Shane moves to Ottawa and is no longer captain and Ruby asks for a new Hollander Cens jersey Shane has nothing left to say to his best buddy. He is also secretly pleased to be Ruby's favourite.
Shane relates most to Arthur. Personality wise. But Arthur develops interests in the technical side of performing arts. Specifically sound and lighting. Shane and Ilya end up going to many many many high school productions where Arthur is in the tech booth and one where Jade is on stage -- they are only 3 years apart so Jade is in her senior play -- and Shane focuses so much on the lighting and sound that he has no idea if Jade did well and at dinner after he sits beside Arthur and asks all about his interest in sound and lighting. He doesn't really get it but he gets Arthur and everyone is busy praising Jade anyway.
Jade gets particularly difficult during her preteen years. Moody and angsty and angry and secretive. Ilya seems to be the only adult she will talk to. She tells him about the things going on at school and when she's scared and done something stupid she will text uncle Ilya first for help. Hayden is begrudgingly indebted to Ilya for helping his daughter out of numerous dangerous situations. Jackie is so happy to have a bigger village for her children. Jade does stay with Ilya and Shane for a brief time when she is 13 bc she took a bus from Montreal to Ottawa with the intention of running away forever. Ilya is the one that talks to Hayden and Jackie about it and they work out a plan to get Jade some mental health support before he drives her back to Montreal a week later.
Shane and Ilya take the pikelings for a weekend after being outted. Hayden and Jackie needed some R&R and time to reconnect as adults. So Ilya and Shane volunteer themselves for the job because they have kind of been thinking about babies so why not give it a try. They take the kids to the park the first day. And Shane is lathering the children in sunscreen and ensuring little Amber has a hat and telling Ilya if the children know sunscreen is good for them then he has no choice and needs to grow up. Shane plays sewer ball with Ruby and Ilya chases Amber around the playground. Jade is moodily sitting under a tree and reading magazines and listening to music on her airpods and Arthur is playing with Anya happily. Eventually Ilya and Amber and Arthur are running around with Anya and playing fetch and getting in the way of Shane and Ruby's game and then they are joining too and Anya is trying to steal the football. Jade continues to be moody under the tree. Eventually they take the kids home and are like okay that was fun and easy whatever. But then it's dinner time and no one wants to eat the same thing and someone doesn't want their food to be mixed and someone hates the colour of their plate and someone is screaming that she got more than me. And Ilya and Shane are slowly developing an eye twitch. The kids eventually get fed but then somehow bathtime is even more difficult and Jade takes like an hour long shower and listens to The Cure really loud in the bathroom and ignores Shane's knocks. Eventually the preteen comes out of the shower and Ilya helps Amber bathe and then Arthur and Ruby get their turn. After the children go to sleep it doesn't end. They are exhausted and Ilya is snoring on Shane's chest and even Anya seems exhausted as she snores from her bed on the floor but then the door is creaking open and Amber is in the doorway and she's red cheeked and snotty nosed and Shane is asking "what happened?" as gently as he can and she is sobbing that she misses mummy and Ilya is startling awake as Shane gently tries to seperate them and then Amber is crawling up the bed between them and falling asleep and it's cute and sweet but Ilya feels a little sulky about it bc he's now seperated from his husband by a child. The next day the kids are better at breakfast but the house is a mess. Somehow the whole place fell into total disarray over the course of 20 hours. When Jackie and Hayden pick up the pikelings later that night Shane and Ilya are very quiet for a while. Anya is hiding under the couch because she was overstimulated by the noise and chaos and tired and shes just now crawling out from the tight space with her tail tucked between her legs and Ilya is snuggling her on the floor and then Shane is murmuring "so maybe I don't want kids" "ever?" "I don't know. Maybe just for now. Definitely not while we're still playing at least." And Ilya is nodding. Stroking Anya's hair. "We already have a baby" and Shane is nodding, agreeing for once "yes, Anya is baby enough for now." And they love being uncles but they love giving the kids back and don't want to spend 36 hours looking after 4 kids ever again. A few hours is more than enough.
After spending so much time hanging out and talking with Ilya (Shane really doesn’t want to talk with that many people) and Ilya feeling comfortable to speak “lazy” English when he’s at home/with Shane, Shane starts accidentally speaking “lazy” English too. It starts with dropped articles here and there, which he doesn’t even notice. For a while it only happens around Ilya (and Ilya doesn’t pick up on it), but eventually Shane is chewing out a rookie in practice or something, and he’s just so pissed he’s not even thinking and goes, “is not hard! You see puck, you put in goal, yes?” And then he just pauses and the rookie is very confused about what just happened but it appears he’s off the hook because Shane also seems very confused about what just happened.
Along with this, there’s a handful of words that Ilya always forgets the English for (and a few that he just thinks the Russian word sounds better), so he’s just started using the Russian word with Shane, so even before Shane gets very good at Russian (or really knows any at all), he knows a few obscure Russian words (stuff like cufflinks, baking soda, jellyfish. Things that don’t come up a whole lot for Ilya, but come up enough that Shane remembers).
Then one day Shane is on a run with Hayden, and after looking down nudges him and says, “Шнурок, you’re going to trip and die” and it takes a few seconds of Hayden staring at him in confusion before it finally clicks “shoelaces. imeantyourshoelacesareuntiedfuck.”
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