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humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.  

it just requires that you be kind. viciously. vengefully. you fight back. you plant flowers. give to charity. play games. pet someone’s dog. scream into the dark. paint and write and dance, tell jokes, sing songs, bake cookies. you have been hurt and you don’t have to deny that hurt. you just have to recognize it in other people, and take their hand, and say: no more. enough. fuck this. no more. 

have a cookie.

2. A good quote: There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”

3. Two good quotes by Kurt Vonnegut: “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-“God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

And Elijah inquired of the Lord, asking “Why?” and the Lord replied, “Because thou doth lament greatly when thou art hungry”.

Thus Elijah took and he ate of the confection, finding it to be exceedingly satisfying.

“God it’s freezing.” Monty whines and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him.

“Yes, thank you. We’re kind of in the tundra so it should be cold. If you were hot that’d be a bigger problem, when you’re hypothermic you feel hot and that, my friend, is why people who freeze to death are often found in less clothing.”

“Great fun fact. What are we doing here?”

“I found the plane. Or I’m like 99% sure that I did.”

“In the tundra?” Monty asks with a shiver and you can’t help but smirk over at him.

“In the tundra. Maybe a hundred more miles or so.”

“How do you plan on getting us there?”

“Dogs.” You tell him, the snow squeaks under your boots as you make your way further out of town to meet your contact.

“I’m sorry, did you just say dogs?”

“Are you honestly surprised?” You ask over your shoulder, “Hi Mike.”

“Doctor, I’ve got two sleds ready for you, is there anything else you need?”

“Supplies for a week?”

“Everything just like you asked. You sure you don’t want another driver out there with you?”

“We’ll be good, six dog teams?” You ask digging in your bag.

“Yea, the distance you’re going six dog is perfect. You’ve got Bear as your lead. He can be a bit more stubborn but you said you’ve driven before.” You nod and he continues, “The other lead dog is Blanche. She’s a bit smaller but listens well and leads like a dream.”

“Wonderful, thanks so much Mike.” You tell him handing him the salsa you’d used as a bartering chip. “My grandma sends a special hello.” You tell him nodding to the extra peppers in the jars.

“She’s a good woman that Marion. Safe travels Doctor!”

“Thanks Mike.” You tug your hat back over your ears and head out to where the dogs are. The sleds are already packed and ready to go and the dogs are excited to start running.

“Where do we sit?” Monty asks as he tugs his face mask back into place.

“We don’t. We stand in the blades in the back.”

“I thought that was for the drivers.”

“We are the drivers! Gee for left, haw for right, woah for stop and hike for go!” You call over the wind. You step onto the back of the sled, kick up the brake then yell, “Bear! Hike! Hike!” The dogs all leap forward and with a loud whoop you’re off. You glance over your shoulder to see Monty scrambling onto his own sled to follow you and you should laugh but you can’t help it. Poor Monty.

The first day isn’t horrible you’re stiff and cold when the but you make it to the camping spot you’d plotted around 8:30 and while Monty might squawk while he works no one is better than Monty. He gets a fire going and a tent up faster than you can get all the dogs off of the leads and back on a line for sleeping.

“Alright, what for dinner?” Monty asks as you dig in the bag for your food and the dogs food.

“Here, we’ve got beans and rice, just needs to be warmed up a little. I’m going to feed the dogs so we can go to be right after we eat.”

“Sounds good. I’m exhausted.”

“Same.” You agree heading over to feed the dogs before your own food is ready. “Eat up doggies! See you in the morning!” You call heading back to the warmth of the fire where Monty has the beans and rice heated up and waiting for you.

“So do the dogs just sleep out here?”

“Yea, they usually dig a little hole for themselves and sleep in that. Their fur is crazy thick.”

“Cool. So what exactly is the plan here?”

“Well, if my map is correct we should be about halfway. The flight path that he would’ve taken would have brought him north before going south to New York City.”

“So we’re what? Like one day away?”

“Yea, if we push the dogs a little more tomorrow we should get there earlier than we did today. We might have enough time to start actually searching the area.”

“How are we doing that?”

“Metal detectors. They’re on my sled.” You tell him in between bites of dinner.

“Perfect. What-“ Monty is cut off by your satellite phone ringing and you wince at him.

“Sorry,” You pull the phone from the bag at your hip. “Hello?”

“You’re in the Antarctic?” Your dad’s irritated voice fills your ear and you bite your tongue to keep from groaning.

“No, we’re in Canada. Why?” You’re not lying, you are in Canada, just the very very northern most part of Canada.

“Your Grandfather told me you were hunting down the myth of Captain America!”

“Tell Grandpa I say hi and thanks for the dogsled hook up.” You hear your dad angrily repeat this to your Grandpa and grin cheekily over at Monty who rolls his eyes. “Besides dad, Captain America isn’t a myth.”

“You’re just like him! Chasing after anything that sparkles! That lifestyle almost got your Grandmother killed!”

“I’m fine dad. Things are different, and Grandma loved her adventures with Grandpa. I heard that once upon a time you did too.”

“Yes, but then I grew up! Got a real job! A wife! A child! It’s time to stop this nonsense and come home. Live a normal life.”

“Thanks but just because you passed on the Jones legacy doesn’t mean I’m going to. I’ve gotta go dad. It’s late and we’re tired. Love you.” You hang up the phone then and sigh down at it. You’d kind of hoped he wouldn’t find out what you and Monty were up to until it was over.

“He want you to give up this foolish dream and be a normal girl?” Monty asks. He’s heard the speech almost as many times as you have.

“I know he means well but it’s not for me. I like the adventure, the danger, the challenge. Why can’t he understand that?”

“Parents.” Monty says with a shrug and you laugh.

“Alright. We really should get to bed though. We’ve got a big week ahead of us and I want to be out of here early.”

“Alarm set for 0500.” Monty says as you crawl into the tent. He throws some snow on the embers of the fire then follows you into the tent. The only thing you remove is your boots.

“Night Monty.”

“Night Indiana.”

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