Φιλογραμματια

E ora non ricordo come respirare

Il terreno è pieno di criteri ed io scendo sempre più a fondo

Apprezzo di più l'ossigeno quando sta per mancare

Ogni giorno è una bomba a orologeria sotto le mie scelte.

Qui sotto non c’è niente, solo regole rotte e un piatto freddo.

L’ossigeno? Ci pensi solo quando ti manca.

Come le persone.

Come te stesso.

It's the root of every issue, it's the reason we fight

And I don't wanna have to choose, but I'm taking a side

'Cause if it isn't me, it's her who's gonna close that door

So I can't have you around me anymore

There's places we went that I'll keep to myself

And you got to know me a little too well

But she'll never be someone I wish that I didn't know, mm

And she'll never be you, but she keeps me on course

And I'm not supposed to wonder if I should be yours

questa volta

non è la prima volta che mi batte il cuore,

ma è la prima che non scappo

quando smette di correre.

ero brava a sparire

appena finiva la magia,

a cercare un altro fuoco

dove sentirmi viva.

e sì,

ne ho ancora bisogno.

dei brividi,

dei battiti,

dell’incanto.

ma stavolta

non li cerco altrove.

stavolta

li cerco in te.

do tutta me stessa

per viverti nuova

anche quando sei la stessa.

mi impegno,

non per dovere,

ma per amore.

quello vero.

quello che inizia

quando l’innamoramento finisce.

resto.

perché la vita con te

è un trekking in salita,

con dislivello,

zaino pieno

e fiato corto.

ma è anche

il panorama più mozzafiato

che io abbia mai scelto di raggiungere.

sei la mia compagna di viaggio,

quella con cui voglio superare ogni vetta.

quella con cui vale la pena restare.

sei la mia scelta,

ogni giorno.

sei la mia scelta migliore.

i met you

by accident.

a friend’s friend.

you were nothing,

until you weren’t.

i noticed you.

you noticed me.

one night—

a glance turned into hours.

we talked

like we’d done it forever.

i asked you out.

not a date.

but it felt like one.

six hours.

laughter.

spark.

then goodbye.

then:

are you still awake?

you say you shouldn’t have come.

you say you’re into me.

then vanish.

silence.

it hurt

more than i wanted to admit.

months later—

i see you again.

we don’t talk.

not really.

your eyes skip mine.

mine pretend not to look.

then the parade.

we orbit.

we talk

like nothing happened.

maybe it didn’t.

maybe it almost did.

weeks pass.

i try not to think of you.

sometimes i fail.

i text you.

you answer.

now we’re here.

talking again.

light words,

heavy silence.

i don’t want you.

but i want something

from you.

and still—

you were never mine.

but i think about you

sometimes.

But friends don't look at friends that way"

Going back at being friends wasn't easy, we cut eachother off our lives for a year. Then, I started dating another guy, it lasted till I was 20. During those times I was secretly seeing my "vintage best friend" twice a year.

When I got out of that relationship, I was 21. I needed to feel young and free. I went looking for him but it turned out he was in a relationship. Too bad, never a good timing for us.

Two years passed by.

Suddenly, one summer night we found eachother again. Nothing else did really matter that night, it was us, it was really us.

Us, after a decade of being two ships just passing by. We lived that night as if it was a dream came true.

It's been a night only, and another year later, at 24 years old, we still didn't stop dreaming about that.

Time goes by, we start being more open to eachother, we have a call once a month. He tells me he can't resist me. I tell him what I dream about.

I laugh thinking about how many people told at the heartbroken-teen-girl I was that I would forget him soon. Well, I guess that won't happen.

I don't mind if there's not much to say

Sometimes the silence guides a mind

To move to a place so far away”