Real Time Taimuwan

First thing I see wrong here is “force teachers and counselors in the state to out any transgender students to their parents.” I’m not sure if I understand their meaning of “out” but this can cause serious complications at home and in school in general. If it’s meant to keep gender and talk of homosexuality out of school then this should also be kept out.

The next paragraph speaks toward medical professionals. “The Alabama House passed the legislation that also criminalizes medical treatments that help transgender minors transition by a 66-28 vote.” The issue with this is that it will prevent doctors from helping many transgender minors that suffer from gender dysphoria. This can directly effect kids in a negative way. It is parents decision, not the state, to talk with their child and determine the best course of action. Now, even that is taken away as if a parent agrees their child should undergo hormone blockers, they cannot take any action as medical professionals will be punished by law?

From a trans person’s prospective, this is really saddening. Because I know how cruel students and teachers can be. And to see teachers can “out” a student to their parents can be a nightmare. I know that from experience of parents that did not like the idea in general. Not all parents are the sit down and talk about it type. Another example of how this strips power from the parent, is if I had a child that identifies differently from their sex, I would definitely talk with them and plan ahead. Once they are “Appropriate” age, I will ask about hormone blockers with their gender councilor. Yet, as a parent I have no say in the situation in Alabama?

https://youtu.be/s04nubY9DVI

Nothing feels better than starting the day off perfect. Nice morning on a day off to just chill and relax. Maybe go to the park or have simple lunch at a restaurant. I remember sitting down and enjoying a meal one day when someone gave me an awkward stare. Now first thoughts were who cares or as long as they don't say anything, we don't have a problem. But its always been different for me. The thoughts that run through my head are: “Why are they staring?” “Am I sitting in the wrong spot?” “Did someone say something?” “Someone must have said something, but what??” These obsessive thoughts continue even on the way back home. Most of the time they go away, but like always, they return. They dwell in the back of my mind for days even. And this is just one encounter. 

Imagine going through day to day activities and obsessing over the smallest or biggest of things. They pop up when you least expect it, and dwell on you until you can’t do anything else but think on it. Now starts the compulsive side of OCD. Typically to keep anxiety down I crack my knuckles, bite my lip, or my nails. It helps to keep my mind off of recurring thoughts.

So of course I was treated that way. Close environment, working and talking with groups I did not know. Yea it was horrid. And on the other side, a bunch of angry and frustrated customers. Many of which were not even pissed at me. They just come in upset. One after the other I had to deal with new people. Maybe 20+ a hour or day. I felt literally exhausted, drained, and broken each time I clocked in and out.

May you warm our hearts and mind with your external Knowledge

When it comes to anxiety it can be a long struggle. When it comes to me I always wondered if I have it or not. When delivering to random people I don’t know, I hardly have this. Yet, there have been many times in crowds when I feel anxious to speak, engage in conversation, or speak up. As many thoughts begin to fill my mind. How do others see me? How do I sound? If I speak my emotions how will they react? And so much more. My body stops moving as I feel my heart give one thump... I pause and think... “I’m better off advoiding this...” So I walk pass or have a low speech communication. Just a few words to get out of that situation. Then I feel horrible. Did I come off as rude? Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad? I’ve felt with this for quite some time. Being a introvert I always just believed it was just that. Yet, that wouldn’t explain that utter fear of meeting a new person and holding a conversation. If a extrovert engages in a conversation and attempts to hold it. All I can think about is a quick escape. I always wonder if both introvert and social anxiety come into play at once during this time.

A party is coming up and I would really love to go and unwind. Yet, there is that growing fear of how many people, what will my first impression be, and how will they see me. Along side the introvert of myself not wanting to be in such a big crowd and would rather spend the time alone or in a smaller group. I know for a fact I’m more of a introvert than extrovert. I prefer smaller groups and having that me time. Having that moment to relax and replenish from social events. Yet. I still feel I could make connections with others. Have a normal conversation. And even speaking up for myself in certain events. But thanks to past experiences, social anxiety holds me down. There was a time at work when there was a group of coworkers talking. I wanted to join in at this moment. Which was strange for me. But I was willing to give it a chance! Then I stopped... my mind began to wonder and I felt that familiar thump of my heart. I could feel my breathing. Deep and strong. My mind paced back and forth. And all of this happens within seconds. I turn around and head to a place that is quiet and alone. As I calm down I feel more secure and safe.

But why is this? Why put yourself through this? What is the reasoning? I always answer “it doesn’t matter” that phrase comes from high school, middle school, home, and even primary school. The troubles I faced those times finding myself and being bullied, told I was stupid, sissy, faggot, and many other things effected me internally. But... no matter what I tried or said. “It didn’t matter” my mind was fixated that my feelings would just be shot down, laughed at, or pushed aside as nothing.

This kinda brings into question my cosplay character and suit. (To be continued)

When a transgender person comes out to you and express their preferred pronouns it’s best to think of these few things. If a biological female identifies as him, his, and he. What, why, and how does it make them feel. The first question is what. And this is obvious. If they come out to you as transgender they may suffer from GD as it is most commonly associated with transgender. Now why should you call them their preferred pronouns? To start, it shows respect. It shows that you listen, care, and understand. It prevents those dysphoric thoughts from going through their heads and makes them more comfortable around you and with themselves as well. To mis gender a person is like outing them, it is both disrespectful and can be mentally harming to that individual. To understand this it’s time to know how GD effects a person.