Emotional Service Animal

i could not eat a dozen fried eggs and would never want to do so. but i almost certainly could accidentally eat a dozen deviled eggs if i was at a party or perhaps a picnic and they were there. they are a highly dangerous food item in this way

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist. His second greatest trick was that egg thing hoo boy those are good

having anti role models is a beautiful thing. it's not easy to live up to someone else's behavior but it is easy to lasso yourself into behaving right when you realize you're reminding yourself of the worst person youve ever met in your entire life

cptsd should make me wake up every morning with black eyeliner and a macabre yet sharp sense of humor but instead it just makes me feel like less of a person than anybody i interact with and makes me have a hard time concentrating

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

That's absolutely insane.

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

I love this on its own but the context being that Baaulp was asking him when a blowjob isn't gay is amazing