"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

I would be so powerful if even one of my executives functioned. Just. Even a single one of them. Please. Please .

can you believe we're all still here

Aren’t we ok like really old now

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

horses made me transgender

#afbh #assigned female by horse (via @chucktaylorupset)

can’t wait to watch timothée chalamet star in the charlie and the chocolate factory prequel titled WONKA as he finds an indigenous population and contracts them to lifelong servitude in his manufacturing plant where there are no safety regulations or government oversight