Collected Thoughts @pensiveowl - Tumblr Blog

People making typos in groupchats and then getting whaled on is extremely funny unless I am the one making the typo, in which case you guys are not funny and being very immature

neutralangel

hiveswap

Corpsd

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happifying-things

Nobody move…

guiltyidealist

deanwincherter

oldfilmsflicker

The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials

okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”

jumblejo

professor-sweetpea

better

chronic-cat-lady

Okay good i didn’t want to reblog this without the racoon one

kitsch-bitchh

the raccoon one tho

sweetmrvitriol

Favorite commercial thing.

amydiddle

These were what I lived to see as a kid. I loved these commercials

theriu

HES STILL AROUND, like two days ago I saw a new one where he was a glitch in a smart house’s system keeping the garage door from opening and he was LITERALLY GLITCHING, it was so clever XD

awwcutepets

I came out of the bathroom in a shower cap so she didn’t know who I was.

jaubaius

Source

reelaroundthedavekan

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vykodlak

watching a national dog show vid. this beast has the saddest most glistening eyes I've ever seen

vykodlak

This is a gnome

ampervadasz

My turn… (Unmute !)

noctomania

Omg you have to unmute lmao the way the dog’s tone changed IMMEDIATELY

assassinregrets

issamomma

So uuuuhhhh…got my daughter a yogurt this morning and learned something new.

issamomma

Guys I just realized they meant there’s a city in Texas called Ding Dong. I thought the people at GoGurt were really like, “DING DONG! WAKE UP SHEEPLE. BIG GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW. TEXAS IS REAL. LOOK IT UP. GET THIS TO THE PEOPLE.” Like some big exec at Yoplait is ready to lose his life over exposing a national secret through the medium of childrens’ yogurt snack tubes.

brucebocchi

(via reddit)

animentality

urbanfantasyinspiration

A rich culture

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nonstopsmile

The journey of a blue marble

jelloapocalypse

The I Spy live action adaption looks great

thathopeyetlives

This is pretty cool compared to many rube goldbergs for reasons including:

- the amount of YEET

- Clever use of magnets and physics

- Re-use of sections that play multiple purposes or have reentrancy.

l0vegl0wsinthedark

actionpackedjackson

Never let them know your next move

spookybuttons-deactivated202101

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

spookybuttons-deactivated202101

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

spookybuttons-deactivated202101

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes

“i love bible”

no-longer-another-bondi-blonde

pulpwrit3r

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

altospaceangel

This is still one of the top posts to come out of covid

insomniac-arrest

Good news everyone! The first ever bloodhound has won best in show.

Look at him. His name is Trumpet.

netherworldpost

lifeafterpsychiatry

You are not superior to the person who is nonverbal. You are not superior to the person who needs a carer. You are not superior to the person who wears diapers. You are not superior to the person who can't manage a job or an education. You are not superior to the person who is intellectually and/or cognitively disabled. You are not superior to the people in psych wards and group homes. You are not superior to the person in the wheelchair. You are not superior to the person on disability benefits. You are not inherently superior to any of these people just by virtue of being more capable in comparison. Leave your ableism at the door or don't enter

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