Hey there, I'm Arthur and this is a side blog to talk about my experience with ASPD (although I sometimes post about my NPD as well) and other random stuff related to it.

I also have other disorders, but I don't think those are particularly relevant here on their own. I might mention the rest if needed.

Everything I share here is about the way ASPD presents for me — which is in turn affected by my other comorbid disorders — so not all of my posts will apply to every antisocial.

I'm not looking for pity. If I share anything related to my trauma and other bad things that have happened to me, it's for the sake of education or to give context to my posts.

Feel free to ask me just about anything, I like talking about myself a little too much for my own good. And keep in mind that this is a side blog and I cannot follow back from here.

Btw cool Dr Ratio pfp

I'd like to be clear and say that these are pretty much two sides of the same coin because they're both manifestations of anxiety regardless. And yes, they can (and usually do) influence each other and appear together.

For me, I just struggle to recognize and connect with the emotional/psychological symptoms of anxiety. As is common for us antisocials, my emotions are usually stunted and fleeting, so I either don't get close enough to feel them or they go away so quickly they're hardly significant.

Things like excessive worry, dread, fear, restlessness, and such are psychological symptoms of anxiety that I don't quite get most of the time. I only ever experience those when the anxiety is extremely severe which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is not the case 90% of the time.

A vast majority of people describe anxiety as constantly worrying and thinking about whatever you're anxious about, but I actually don't really do that. Unless it's something that could ruin my entire life, my brain literally just doesn't process it as something that I should be constantly going over. Hell, sometimes it doesn't even care about things that would ruin my life either.

That being said, I seem to get a lot more physical symptoms. Literal, physical symptoms. Things like chest tightness, headaches, rashes, and muscle tension are so much more common for me when I do experience anxiety.

Because of this, it's actually very common for me to have genuinely no idea what I'm anxious about because I can only really identify the effect it has on my body. And, although I haven't done much research nor do I know if this is a shared experience amongst other antisocials, I do think it makes sense that anxiety would present that way for us.

As a fun fact, my heartbeat is also rarely affected. It is somewhat interesting since research shows that pwASPD have a more stable heartbeat even under pressure.