when i was a baby i thought big words and oxford commas and kcup coffee machines make u smart. you know what makes you smart? loving ur friends.

[so horny my penis is whistling like a tea kettle] what? i cant hear you over my penis

Its been five years of it’s august and the flow of time still haunts me

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

so frustrating to be a skeptic with a sense of whimsy because like. I want there to be cryptids. I want there to be magic. I want there to be evidence of something we don't fully understand and can't explain. but then 99% of the "proof" out there for that stuff is like. the most obvious scam you've ever seen in your life.

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

underrated ship dynamic is 'they deserve each other /derogatory'

underrated ship dynamic is 'they deserve each other /derogatory'

costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain