Gender of the day: Terrible beast in the woods with sharp teeth, blood and slobber running down from them in equal measure, with eyes that reflect light in the dark, and that you only see in totality moments before your death
Fai_Ryy

blake kathryn
The Bowery Presents
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

gracie abrams
NASA
art blog(derogatory)

titsay

Jimmy Eat World
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies

pixel skylines
macklin celebrini has autism

izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sweet Seals For You, Always
π

shark vs the universe

bliss lane

seen from South Africa
seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States

seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from Iraq
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seen from TΓΌrkiye
seen from Brazil

seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States

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@reeama-the-mage
Gender of the day: Terrible beast in the woods with sharp teeth, blood and slobber running down from them in equal measure, with eyes that reflect light in the dark, and that you only see in totality moments before your death

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since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"
some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.
benefits of mg:
easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")
ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually
ends in a soft consonant sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)
fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter
distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)
wizard.
drawbacks:
there aren't any
yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don't give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.
I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces
like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,
oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,
no for real like sit over there and drink your little beverage and stay tf out of the way let me cook
Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this
absolutley enchanted by cobepee

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this post has reblogs off but i think about it all the time. truly evergreen post
on a work call. after the briefing, the manager said "any questions" and someone raised their hand and asked "did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone"
"exercise will give you more energy" gets said a lot as a common piece of health advice but I think it needs to be expanded into "exercising will make you tired while you do it, and you will continue to be tired immediately afterwards, sometimes even the next day too, but over months of consistent exercise, your muscles will get stronger and therefore get less tired out by everyday activities, making you feel like day-to-day life takes less physical energy than it used to"
It really ought to also be expanded into getting good sleep and making sure youβre feeding your body the nutrients conducive to increased physical activity! And if everything really is causing you severe exhaustion or pain that wonβt let up, you might want to pursue professional medical feedback because the exercise itself may not be the primary issue necessarily.
Not getting a ton of reporting in US news, but the Trump administration is going after donors to Palestine, including going as far as international extradition under the guide of "counterterrorism"

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i reaaaaally like drawing river actually
β βfriends donβt look at friends like thatβ devalues friendship/platonic forms of love, pushes amatonormativity
β βhistorians will call them friendsβ devalues historians and forces complex relationships into modern simplicities, also devalues friendship/platonic forms of love
β βdo they know its legal nowβ suggests the characters are stupid, poorly suggests that this is the only barrier to their relationshipβboth of which are funny as hell
I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend
She thinks I'm joking
But I'm ready
Wait. Are there 200, but to be numbered 1-250? Did I read those tags right? π²
Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.
#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough
very very important
hey op i don't think those are frogs like you said
they're right those arent frogs op.
I meant to prank my friend by hiding hundreds of small ducks after saying I would hide small frogs, but it turns out due to some quirk of only 3 people on the entire Internet knowing what a prank is, it seems I have pranked hundreds of other people by saying I would put 100 small frogs in my friends house, when in fact the prank was that it was 202 small ducks.
an update. it has been over 4 months and they are still finding ducks
1 year and 7 months later:
#imagine the dread she felt when she found the first duck and realized op wasn't joking (via @robyn-goodfellowe)
The key to a good prank, imo, is that the person you're pranking should not feel bad. They should feel delight. My friend has 2 kids. She walked in the door from her vacation, and instead of having two cranky children to deal with as soon as she got home on top of everything else, she got two children excited to run around finding small ducks. My friend knows me well enough to know that when I say weird things there's always a chance I'm not joking, and she would have said no (and been respected) if she didn't want this. The prank was never that I was hiding the toys, just which toys they were, and how many would be hidden.
still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.
we were lonely kids having fun together. do you remember?
so wildly obnoxious when you agree with the starting point of someone's stance only for them to hard turn into things you DON'T agree with and now you have to defend the thing that was originally annoying you
"too many authors in the current market are focusing on selling 'spice' instead of telling interesting stories"
"oh yeah, i agree. i started reading one that i heard a lot about and it just wasn't-"
"and it's all of these women reading their fucking mommy porn out in public like FREAKS"
*through gritted teeth* "people should be allowed to read whatever they want, and actually these books should be left alone and you should shut up about it"
This.

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This is hilarious
Some of my favorite Saturns Devouring His Son
Furby | ASCII | Balloon | | Yoga Mat | Crochet | #1 Dad
Another Saturn for the compilation [source]
Toast | Slurpee