the horrors, the agonies, the sillies

i don’t even own a belt i’m such a fake final fantasy fan

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

Fun fact: the guys at our college’s geology department prop out the doors with their samples. I totally understand why but as someone whose work with samples is necessarily super delicate and sterile it fucks me up so bad

lol idk if you watch nautilus live at all but watching them process bio & geo samples side by side evokes exactly this Thing (the descriptions are gold too… “here are the 30 steps we use to preserve bio samples, and as for rocks, well, we let them dry, bag them, & put them in the Rock Box)

Paleontologists occupy a weird and highly uncomfortable slice of this Venn Diagram

in my own experience with geology most precautions with samples are to preserve the life and safety of the geologist, most of the rocks are fine. 

i am continually reminded of one of my colleagues, who wanted to collect a sample of gypsum on a field excursion but was too lazy to take off his backpack and get his rock hammer. so he said “eh, it’s soft enough” just fucking punched the rock until a piece fell off like it was fucking minecraft

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

i hate to break it to you, but your father is oogie boogie from the nightmare before christmas.

I told my therapist recently that buildings actually do need to sweat and breathe, and have what amounts to circulatory systems in their ventilation, water and electricity. If you leave a building closed up and stagnant for too long it will rot. He appeared genuinely shocked and touched and thanked me emphatically for the information

Of course the follow up was a trite “do you treat yourself the way you treat a building” and you know what, it doesn’t matter at all. Everything is a system and all systems require maintenance, and often that maintenance is deferred due to money and laziness. I am winning at therapy.

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

wrong gif

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

Azune is the best inheritor of Thjazi's legacy not because of any fighting or morals, but because he's the only one who can keep a revolutionary meeting in schedule and not descending into infighting.

At this point Robbie should just lean into it and put “You and Me and Your Friend Steve” on Kattigan’s playlist.