If It Was Easy, It Wouldnβt Be Us
Word count: 8.5k
Warnings: Smoking, panic attacks, anxiety.
Chapter 4: Every single time.
Azzi didnβt remember falling asleep.
One moment she was lying on her back, exhaustion pulling her under in slow, dragging waves β the faint weight of Paigeβs hoodie heavy around her shoulders, the smell of lavender and clean cotton clinging to the fabric.
And then the world shifted.
It always started the same way.
The house. Too perfect. Too clean. Too quiet.
Like a museum pretending to be a home β polished, expensive, lifeless.
Azzi stood in the hallway, small again. Eight. Ten. Some blurry age in between. Thatβs how nightmares worked β they didnβt care about accuracy.
Her uniform collar scratched her neck, starched and stiff just like the ones she wore to the private schools her parents bragged about more than she ever attended.
Her backpack felt too heavy.
Like it wasnβt full of booksβ¦ but expectations.
Voices drifted from the living room.
Not loud. Not yelling. Worse. Soft. Controlled.
The kind of tone that tasted like disappointment.
She knew that tone better than her own name.
Her feet moved on their own even though everything in her body begged her to turn around.
Her father stood with his arms crossed, watch glinting. Her mother sat on the couch with her hands folded neatly, eyes sharp and cold β not enraged, just embarrassed. That look always cut deeper.
They didnβt see her. They never did.
ββ¦She has everything, just like Jose did,β her father said. βPrivate coaches. Tutors. Every opportunity. Yet she stillββ
βFails,β her mother finished. Calm. Surgical.
Azziβs stomach twisted.
She tried to speak β to say Iβm trying, I swear Iβm trying β but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out. Her breath didnβt even move.
Her father sighed. Not tired. Burdened.
βShe has no clue what she wants in life. By this age, Jose already knew heβd take over the company. Sheβll fall behind everyone.β
His voice tightened. βAnd we canβt let that happen. Not in this family.β
Her mother nodded. βWeβve given her everything. Cars, clothes, anything sheβs ever asked for. If sheβs still unhappy, thatβs her fault.β
Azzi reached out with trembling fingers.
βMom?β
Nothing. No response.
Like she wasnβt even standing there.
Her father kept talking.
βSheβs too emotional. She ruins things. Every time she cries she does it for attention. Sheβs a burden.β
Her motherβs voice lowered β cold, disappointed, cutting.
βMaybe she just isnβt the daughter this family needed. But somehow weβll turn her into that. Even if itβs the last thing I do. She seems like the type to spill every family secret just for attention. We canβt risk that. Sheβs a side piece. Jose is the future.β
Azzi felt something inside her tear.
Quietly. Like paper.
The dream shifted.
The house blurred at the edges, the walls stretched, the floor warped. The ceiling soared upward until the living room became a dark, endless hallway.
Her parents turned toward her in perfect, unnatural unison.
Their eyes were empty.
Her father spoke first. βStop crying. Stop being weak.β
Her hands flew to her cheeks β they were wet.
She hadnβt even realized she was crying.
Her mother shook her head. βAlways dramatic. Always too much.β
Azziβs breath hitched.
She tried to scream β to beg them to stop β but her voice was trapped in her chest, clawing for a way out.
They stepped toward her. The hallway narrowed. The air thickened. Lights flickered above her.
βWhy canβt you be normal?β
βWhy canβt you be grateful?β
βYou ruin everything.β
βYouβre not enough.β
The voices multiplied β her parents, her coaches, teammates, classmates β all overlapping until it sounded like an entire stadium chanting her flaws.
Azzi covered her ears but the words crawled under her skin.
The floor dropped.
She fell βhelpless βweightless βthe darkness swallowing her wholeβ until a hand grabbed her wrist.
Warm. Solid. Human.
That had never happened in this dream before.
Azzi gasped awake. Her eyes flew open.
She sat up too fast, breath crashing out of her like she was drowning. Sweat soaked the hoodie. Her pulse thrashed against her ribs.
She didnβt recognize the room at first.
The nightmare still clung to her β her motherβs voice, the hallway, the emptiness in her fatherβs eyes.
βIt was just a dreamβ¦ it was just a dreamβ¦β she whispered shakily.
Except she knew better.
Nightmares are memories wearing masks.
And Azzi had always lived like a ghost in her own life.
No hand had ever reached for her when she fell.
Not until Paige.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Paige hadnβt meant to fall asleep so quickly β sheβd planned to stay alert, just in case Azzi needed anything. But the day had drained her in a way she wasnβt used to.
And then there was the thing she said.
βKinda hot on you.β
Why would she say that after a fucking accident?
She promised herself sheβd apologize in the morning. Make breakfast. Fix the car. Put distance between them. Try again to not feel whatever she was feeling.
But for now, exhaustion won.
She fell asleep on the couch, curled under a thin blanket, half-listening to the quiet of the house.
She didnβt wake up to a sound. She woke up to a feeling.
A pressure in her chest β sharp, wrong, instinctive.
Like her body jolted awake before her mind understood why.
Her eyes opened in the dark.
The moment she inhaled, she knew. Somethingβs wrong.
Not with her. With Azzi.
Paige sat up fast, heart hammering.
The house was silent.
But underneath the silence β she heard it.
Not clearly. Not loud. But enough.
A breath. Broken. Too quick.
A soft, muffled whimper someone was trying desperately to hide.
Paige was on her feet in seconds.
She crossed the hallway quietly but urgently. The door to the room was cracked open, a thin strip of dim light spilling across the floor.
Paige pushed it openβ
And froze.
Azzi sat on the bed, curled in on herself, shaking so hard the mattress trembled beneath her. Her hands covered her mouth like she was trying to keep herself quiet. Tears streamed down her face in silent, uncontrollable lines.
And she kept whispering, so broken it barely counted as sound:
βIt was just a dreamβ¦ it was just a dreamβ¦β
Her voice cracked halfway through the last word.
Paigeβs chest split.
βAzzi?β she whispered.
No reaction.
Azzi didnβt even look up. Her breaths were shallow, panicked, too fast β like she couldnβt pull enough air into her lungs.
A panic attack.
Paige stepped forward immediately.
She sat on the edge of the bed, careful, slow, close but not touching. βAzziβ¦ hey. Iβm here.β
No answer. Just trembling. Just tears.
Paige reached out and placed a steady hand on the back of Azziβs neck β grounding, warm, gentle but firm enough to anchor her.
Azzi flinched. Not away. Toward.
Paigeβs voice softened. βYouβre okay. Youβre awake now. Itβs me.β
βCan you look at me?β Paige asked gently.
Nothing in Paigeβs life couldβve prepared her for this β seeing Azzi, the girl who walked like she owned the room, curled into herself like she was trying to disappear.
Sheβd seen Azzi annoyed. Sarcastic. Untouchable.
But this? This was someone terrified.
Azzi dragged her gaze toward her, and the moment their eyes met, Paige felt the air shift.
Because now Paige understood.
This wasnβt just a nightmare.
It was something old.
Something that still lived inside her.
Something Azzi carried alone.
Paigeβs voice softened without her meaning it to.
βYouβre safe,β she whispered again. βI promise.β
Azzi swallowed hard, breath shaking uncontrollably.
She wasnβt reaching for Paige, not yet.
But she wasnβt pulling away from her either.
And Paige felt something in her chest tighten β protective, fierce, terrified of the idea that anyone had ever made Azzi feel like this.
Her eyes were red, glazed with tears that still spilled down her cheeks. She looked lost. Small. Terrified.
Paige reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
Her fingers lingered for half a second longer than necessary.
βDo you want me to stay close?β Paige asked quietly.
Azzi didnβt speak. She just nodded once β tiny, fragile, desperate. So Paige moved.
Not into the bed β but right beside it, in a chair, knees touching the mattress, one hand on Azziβs back, rubbing slow grounding circles. The tremors slowly eased under her palm.
Azziβs breathing deepened. Not steady. But better.
Paige stayed right there, close enough to be heat and safety but not enough to overwhelm her.
Azzi leaned the slightest bit toward her.
Barely anything.
But Paige felt it like gravity.
And in that moment Paige knew one thing with absolute clarity:
She would wake up for Azzi every time. Night after night. Nightmare after nightmare.
And she would never let her face them alone again.
Fuck the distance. Fuck the plan.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Paige woke up with a sharp ache running down her spine.
Sleeping half-sitting on a chair definitely had consequences.
But the pain wasnβt what hit her first. The sight in front of her did.
Azzi was still asleep, curled slightly to the side, mouth slightly open, curls scattered messily across the pillow. She looked⦠peaceful. Completely different from the trembling, terrified version of her Paige had held through the nightmare.
Paigeβs chest tightened.
She stood up quietly and headed toward the kitchen. She needed to apologize. For last night. For flirting at the worst possible moment. She knew better than that.
Azzi had been barely holding herself together, and Paige had gone and called her hot?
Seriously? She deserved to smack herself.
She grabbed a pan and stared at it like it was a complex piece of machinery. She wasnβt a great cook β somewhere between βburns waterβ and βcan maybe make toastβ β but she was determined to at least try. Azzi deserved breakfast. And Paigeβ¦ needed the distraction.
Somewhere between cracking an egg wrong and nearly setting a napkin on fire, a couple of funny looking pancakes, Paige decided she wasnβt going to school today. It was Friday. She needed the day off. And Azzi β after everything β definitely shouldnβt be alone.
She sighed, wiped her hands on a towel, and pulled out her phone.
She had disappeared in the middle of the night and was about to skip school.
Yeah. Her dad needed explanations.
He answered by the second ring.
βHey, kid. Why you calling me? Arenβt you upstairs?β
Paige winced. βHi, Dad. Yeahβ¦ about that. Iβm actually at the garage.β
βHuh? You literally slept here last night. And I know for a fact you wouldnβt stop by the garage before school. Whatβs going on?β
Paige rubbed her temple. βSo you know how I stay here sometimes when KK works nights? Just to keep an eye on Mr. Smith?β
βYeah? Is everything alright with him?β
βYeah, heβs fine. Nothing to worry about.β She exhaled softly. βBut this girl has been stopping by the garage the last few nights. And yesterday she called β she got into a crash. She didnβt have anyone else to call, dad. So I snuck out and went to get her.β
There was a pause on the other end.
Paige continued quickly. βHer carβs totaled, so I thoughtβ¦ instead of taking her home, Iβd bring her here. Let her rest. Work on the car.β She swallowed. βSo I was wondering if itβs okay for me to skip school today? Fix her car? Keep an eye on her and Mr. Smith?β
Another quiet moment.
Thenβ
βPaige,β her father groaned, βyouβre going to kill me one of these days.β
She smiled despite herself.
βOkay,β he sighed. βYou can stay home from school. But bring her here if you need anything. I donβt want Mr. Smith getting overwhelmed. Who is this girl, anyway?β
Paige hesitated.
βAzziβ¦Fudd.β
βAs in those Fudds?β
ββ¦Yeah.β
βIs she hurt?β
βShe has some bruises and cuts on her face and arms, but nothing major.β
βAlright. When youβre done at the garage, bring her here. Mom can check her over β make sure thereβs nothing serious. Then you can take her home. Iβm sure her family is worried.β
Paige was about to answer when she heard soft footsteps approaching from the hallway.
βThanks, Dad. Iβll see you later.β
βPaige?β
She froze. βYeah?β
βPlease be careful.β His voice softened in that way that always cracked her a little. βYou have the biggest and most beautiful heart. Not everyone can take that responsibility and treat it right. We love you so much, kid.β
Paige swallowed hard.
βI love you more. And I promise Iβm doing my best.β
βNo doubt in my mind,β he said gently. βNot for a second.β
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Azzi woke up alone.
Normally, that was nothing new β she always woke up alone. But something about this morning feltβ¦ different. Maybe it was the warmth still lingering in the sheets, or the faint smell of Paigeβs perfume on the pillowcase. She lay there for a moment, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do.
Should she wait for Paige to say goodbye before going to school?
Wait β was she even supposed to stay after Paige left?
Should she leave now so it wouldnβt be awkward?
Paige had already done too much for her. She shouldnβt push it. She should just go. That was the responsible thing. The safe thing.
Even if something in her chest β something warm and terrifying β begged her to stay.
She tried slipping back into her clothes from the night before, but seeing them on the floor made the whole night feel real again. Too real. She grabbed the clothes Paige had given her instead. Sheβd take them home, have them washed, maybe spray them lightly with her perfume, and bring them back tonight.
Yeah. That sounded reasonable. Not too clingy. Not too cold.
She walked towards the kitchen, ready to quietly slip out β when she heard Paigeβs voice.
βI love you more. And I promise Iβm doing my best.β
Azzi froze.
Her chest ached sharply.
She couldnβt remember the last time sheβd said those words to either of her parents.
When Paige finally turned and saw her, she lit up. βHey, Az. Howβd you sleep?β
βMorning,β Azzi murmured. βAfterβ¦ everything? Good, I guess. Your bed is really comfortable. Thank you for letting me stay. I know you have school so Iβll justββ She gestured to the door. βIβll bring your clothes back tonight.β
She started walking away.
βWhat? Wait.β Paige stepped forward. βBro, Iβm literally making you breakfast. You had a rough night. Eat something. Please.β
Azzi blinked. βBut you have to be at school in like fifteen minutes.β
βIβm not going,β Paige said simply. βIβm not leaving you alone after what happened. And we have to fix your car, dude, or youβre gonna end up walking everywhere.β Her smile was light, teasing. βI made pancakes. Theyβre ugly as hell, but technically edible.β
Azzi felt the corner of her mouth lift β uncontrollably, impossibly soft. βYou cook?β
βAbsolutely not,β Paige deadpanned. βBut I tried.β
A laugh almost slipped out. Real. Unforced.
βFine,β Azzi said quietly. βIβll eat your ugly pancakes.β
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Azzi sat at the small table while Paige slid a plate in front of her.
The pancakes were, in fact, tragic β uneven, lumpy, and burnt around the edges.
Azzi raised a brow. βPaige.β
βI know,β Paige said immediately, hands up like she was being arrested. βListen, you survived a car crash. These wonβt kill you.β
Azzi cut into one and took a bite. She chewed slowly, then looked up. βTheyβre actually good.β
Paige blinked in disbelief. βNo way.β
Azzi nodded. βLikeβ¦ good-good.β
Paige sat down across from her, propping her chin on her hand. βHuh. Guess Iβm a chef now.β
Azzi rolled her eyes, but the smile tugging at her mouth wouldnβt leave.
They ate in silence β the comfortable kind, warm in the chest, unfamiliar but welcome.
Then Paige spoke. βYou want to talk about it?β
Azzi froze.
Paige softened immediately. βIf you donβt want to, itβs okay. Justβ¦ know Iβm willing to listen if you do.β
She exhaled, eyes gentle. βI meant what I said last night.β
Azzi swallowed. βWhat part?β
βThat you have people who care.β
Azzi stared down at her plate. βWellβ¦ it doesnβt feel like it.β
Her eyes blurred for a second, lashes fluttering. βPeople donβt usuallyβ¦ show up for me.β
Paige leaned forward, voice barely a breath. βIβm not βpeople,β Az.β
Something cracked open in Azzi. A truth she never said out loud slipped out like it had been waiting.
βIt felt real,β she whispered. βLike I was back there. In that exact situation.β
βBack where?β Paige asked softly.
Azziβs throat tightened. βWith them.β
The way she said it made Paigeβs chest twist.
Azzi lifted her gaze β raw, red, honest in a way Paige had never seen.
βItβs likeβ¦ no matter what I do, Iβm never enough or Iβm too much. I have everything β anything I want, I get. But it doesnβt fill me. It makes me feel hollow. And watching them adore my brother because heβs better at hiding the same painββ she swallowed, voice cracking, ββit leaves scars I donβt even know the shape of yet. Iβm never enough. Not for them. Not for anybody.β
Paigeβs expression softened β slow, devastating.
βAzzi,β she murmured, leaning in, βyou are enough. More than enough.β
For a heartbeat, the world narrowed.
Something fragile, electric, dangerous hung between them.
Azzi didnβt pull away.
Paige didnβt either.
Azzi leaned in first β just a centimeter β enough for Paige to feel her breath on her lips.
βTell me to stop,β Azzi whispered, barely sound. βIf I shouldnβt.β
Paigeβs breath shook.
Her nostrils flared. Her control wavered.
βI donβt want you to stop,β she saidβ but she didnβt close the distance.
Their lips hovered, sharing the same air, close enough to ache.
Azziβs heart pounded.
Paige swallowed, voice thick. βThis is a bad idea right now.β
βBecause of the crash?β Azzi whispered.
βBecause youβre hurt,β Paige said. βAnd because Iβm two seconds away from forgetting that.β
She inhaled sharply. βIβm sorry about last night. Flirting when you were that emotionalβ¦ it wasnβt fair of me.β
Azziβs chest rose. βI didnβt mind.β
Paige pulled away with a smile just an inch β enough to stay in control, not nearly enough to stop wanting her.
βWell get back to thatβ
The almost-kiss settled between them like a bruise you didnβt dare touch.
They finished eating quietly, washed the dishes side by side, and when the silence finally softened, Paige spoke.
βOkay, hereβs the plan,β she said, wiping her hands. βI donβt want to overwhelm you, so Iβm giving you options. You tell me if itβs too much.β
Azzi nodded, though her brain was still replaying the ghost of Paigeβs lips.
βOption A,β Paige said. βI take you home now, work on your car during the day, and you come back tonight.β
Azzi already hated it.
βOption B. We stay here all day, I teach you everything you donβt know about your car, we fix it, have dinner with Mr. Smith and KK when she gets back, and I take you home.β
She hated that one too.
Mostly because both options ended with her going home.
Her phone had no missed calls, no messages, nothing.
Twelve hours gone, and no one noticed.
βIs there an Option C?β Azzi asked quietly.
Paigeβs lips lifted in a warm, crooked smile. βIβm glad you asked. That oneβs my favorite.β
Azziβs heart fluttered stupidly.
βOption C,β Paige said. βWe work on your car, and when KK gets here around five, she has the night offβ¦ then I can take you home with me. My momβs a nurse β she can check your cuts and make sure thereβs nothing weβre missing. Then we come back, smoke a little, and after thatβ¦β
She shrugged gently. βUp to you. We can sleep here. Or at my place. Or I can take you home. Whatever you want.β
Azzi blinked.
βYou want me to go home with you?β
Paige suddenly needed something to do with her hands β anything.
βWellβ¦ yeah,β she said, cheeks warm. βI want you to feel safe. And my dad suggested we go so my mom can make sure everythingβs okay. They wonβt say a word about the crash. I promise.β
Azzi should have been terrified.
She wasnβt even sure what she felt for Paige β not fully, not in words.
And she was going to her house?
But she wasnβt scared. Not even a little.
Something deep in her chest β quiet, steady β knew that with Paige beside her, nothing bad could touch her.
And maybe that was the terrifying part.
βOkay,β she breathed.
Paigeβs smile bloomed slow, bright, impossible to look away from.
βOkay?β
βYou heard me, dude.β
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
The garage was warm, dusty, smelling like oil and sun-heated metal. Paige had already tied her hair up into a messy bun, grease fingerprinted across her forearm like paint strokes. She looked⦠annoyingly beautiful like that.
Azzi tried not to notice. She failed.
βOkay,β Paige said, tossing her a pair of gloves. βRule number one: donβt freak out if something sparks. It probably wonβt explode.β
Azzi froze midβglove. βProbably?β
Paige smirked. βIβm kidding.β
Azzi narrowed her eyes. βYouβre not.β
Paige shrugged with a grin and crouched by the hood. βCome here.β
Azzi moved beside her, careful not to brush against Paigeβs shoulder. Paige felt close β too close β her presence warm and strangely calming.
βSee this?β Paige pointed to a piece of twisted metal. Azzi nodded. She had no clue what she was looking at. βThis is where the impact hit hardest. Weβre gonna realign the frame, check the wiring, and then rebuild the support.β
βYou say that like I didnβt just learn cars arenβt powered by hamsters.β
Paige laughed β loud, sudden, honest. Azziβs stomach flipped.
βYouβre cute,β Paige said before she realized it, then froze. βI meanβ your confusion is cute. Like, in aβ I-didnβtββ Fuck. In less than twenty-four hours sheβd called Azzi hot and cute. She seriously needed to get her shit together.
Azzi didnβt make it easy on her. She leaned in slightly. βWow. Another compliment. You think Iβm cute?β
Paigeβs ears turned red. βWeβre fixing a car. Focus.β
Azzi smiled smugly. God, she loved flustering her.
Paige guided her hands gently, showing her how to loosen a bolt, how to hold a wrench properly, how to lean her weight into a stubborn screw. Every time their fingers brushed, Paigeβs breath caught just slightly β Azzi didnβt miss it.
Twenty minutes. Thatβs how long sheβd been distracted by the sharp line of Paigeβs jaw. God, she was hot. Why had she paused? Why had she asked? She couldβve already kissed Paige Bueckers and maybe felt something sheβd been afraid to want.
βYouβre staring again,β Paige murmured without looking up.
Azzi blinked. βYou canβt prove that.β
Paige finally looked at her β slow, deliberate, like she knew exactly what she was doing.
βNo,β Paige said softly. βBut I can feel it.β
Azziβs pulse tripped over itself. She looked away.
They kept working β shoulder to shoulder, hands brushing, Paige laughing at Azziβs constant commentary, Azzi secretly memorizing every angle of Paigeβs smile.
And for the first time in a long timeβ¦
Azzi felt something like steady ground.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Three and a half hours later, Azzi was sweaty, dirty, and officially over it.
βOkay,β she groaned, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, βIβm new at this, but I genuinely donβt understand how you spend eight hours at a time under a car. Iβm done.β
Paige laughed, folding a rag over her shoulder. βYou can go inside and take a shower if you want. Later we can go look for lunch or order something.β
Azzi just nodded.
Maybe this accident really had been a blessing in disguise.
Maybe it happened so sheβd finally notice where she actually wanted to be.
Because if some one had told her a week ago that sheβd willingly spend an entire day with Paige Bueckers β sweaty, messy, happy β she wouldβve assumed they were mentally unwell.
She headed to Paigeβs room, only to remember she didnβt have any clothes. She sighed and called out:
βPaige? Can you come here for a second? I need help.β
It was ridiculous how fast Paige showed up.
βYou good?β Paige asked, slightly out of breath from how quickly sheβd come.
βYeah, I justβ¦ I donβt have clothes. And I didnβt want to go digging through your closet without asking.β
Paige froze for a moment β staring at her like sheβd forgotten how to be a functioning human.
Sheβd seen the wrong version of Azzi before: the mask, the attitude, the walls.
But this Azzi β her Azzi β was thoughtful, funny, considerateβ¦ Beautiful.
βHello? World calling to Paige?β
Paige shook her head quickly.
βSorry,β Paige muttered, rubbing her neck. βI donβt have much youβd like here, but if you want, we can stop by your place. You can make a bag and tell your mom youβre spending the next couple of days with me so we can take care of those cuts.β
It was the weakest excuse in history and they both knew it.
Azzi could easily take care of the cuts herself.
But Paige wanted to be the one doing it every night before bed. And mental note to herself: Tell Dad Azzi is spending the next couple of days with them so βwe can take care of those cuts.β God, she couldnβt even lie properly.
Azzi didnβt call her out. She didnβt want to.
Because honestly? There wasnβt anywhere else she wanted to be more.
So she nodded.
Paige handed her a pair of sweats. βTake a shower. Iβll go after you. Then we eat, swing by your place, make your bagβ¦ and then we go home.β
Home.
The word echoed in Azziβs mind through the entire shower, soft and warm and dangerous.
We go home.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Paige drove with one hand on the wheel, the other tapping lightly against her thigh in a rhythm Azzi couldnβt read. They ended up at a tiny diner tucked between a laundromat and a flower shopβone of those places Azzi never wouldβve stepped into on her own. But Paige lit up the second she saw it.
βThey have the best grilled cheese on earth,β Paige said as they slid into a booth. βLikeβ¦ life-changing.β
Azzi raised an eyebrow. βThatβs a big promise.β
βYouβll see.β
Paige slid into the booth across from her, drumming her fingers lightly on the table β a nervous habit Azzi was starting to recognize.
The waitress came, Paige ordered for both of them without thinking, and somehow that didnβt annoy Azziβit made her feelβ¦ cared for. Which was stupid. Dangerous. But warm.
When the waitress left, Paige leaned back, stretching her legs under the table. One of them brushed against Azziβs by accident. Azzi pretended not to notice. Paige definitely noticed.
The silence settled for a minute, easy in a strange way. Then Azzi cleared her throat.
βSoβ¦β she started, watching Paige carefully, βcan I ask you something? About your family.β
Paige blinked, surprised but not closed off. βYeah. Ask anything.β
βEarlier, you were talking to your dad, right?β she said carefully. βI donβt think Iβve ever heard someone say βI love youβ before eight in the morning.β
Paige blinked, half laughing. βSeriously?β
Azzi shrugged. βNotβ¦ in my house.β
Paige nodded slowly, the joking look fading.
βMy dadβs the quiet one,β she said finally. βHeβs the type who fixes everything before you even realize itβs broken. He works a lot, but when heβs home, heβsβ¦ steady. You know? Heβs the person I go to when my brain is doing the most.β
Azzi nodded, imagining him β calm, grounding.
βAnd your mom?β
A slow smile grew on Paigeβs face, the kind that softened her whole expression.
βMy momβs loud,β she said fondly. βLike, she will absolutely talk your ear off about literally anything. But sheβs also the one who notices stuff before anyone else. If youβre hurt, sad, stressed β she sees it immediately. Even when youβre trying to hide it.β
Azzi swallowed. βSo she cares.β
βYeah. A lot.β
Azzi looked down at her hands.
Paigeβs eyes flicked to her instantly β worried, gentle, not pitying, just present.
Azzi cleared her throat. βWhat about your brother?β
βOh, Drew?β Paige said, snorting. βHeβs annoying as hell.β
Azzi laughed, and Paige smiled wider, encouraged.
βHeβs seven. Thinks heβs hilarious. Heβs not. But heβs cool.β
Azzi rested her chin in her hand. βSo youβre close.β
βYeah.β Paige shrugged. βMy familyβsβ¦ chaotic, but good-chaotic. Loud dinners. Constant fights over the TV. Everyone screaming over nothing. But itβsββ She hesitated. βItβs home.β
Azzi didnβt speak for a moment.
She wasnβt jealous. It wasnβt that.
It was more likeβ¦ her chest hurt in a way she didnβt know how to name.
Azzi hesitated for a beat. βDo you guysβ¦ fight? Or is it all perfect and sweet andβ¦ morning I love youβs?β
Paigeβs smile faltered, not in a sad wayβjust honest. βWe fight. Sometimes a lot. Iβm stubborn. But no matter what, we talk it out. We donβtβ¦ leave things hanging.β
Azziβs chest tightened. βMust be nice.β
Paige tilted her head. βYour family doesnβt talk things out?β
Azzi snorted. βMy family doesnβt talk. They perform.β Her eyes traced the condensation on her glass. βWe donβt take care of each other. We justβ¦ exist in the same house and pretend itβs normal.β
Paigeβs voice softened. βIs that why you didnβt want to go back last night?β
Azzi swallowed. βPart of it.β
Paige leaned forward, forearms on the table, eyes steady on her. βYou knowβ¦ you donβt have to pretend with me.β
Azzi rolled her eyes, but it was half-hearted. βPaige, you barely know me.β
Paigeβs gaze didnβt budge. βYeah, and? Doesnβt mean I donβt care.β
Azziβs heartbeat stutteredβannoying, unpredictable, completely out of her control.
βYouβ¦ you didnβt have to skip class for me today.β
βI know,β Paige said simply.
Azzi looked away, cheeks heating. βEat your grilled cheese, Bueckers.β
Paige laughedβa soft, genuine sound Azzi felt directly in her ribs.
For a moment, in that tiny diner booth, with ugly pancakes still in her memory and Paigeβs knee brushing hers under the tableβ¦
Azzi didnβt feel alone.
Maybe she had been right earlier.
Maybe the accident was a blessing in disguise β because somehow, by crashing her car, she had landed right into the middle of something that felt dangerously close toβ¦ warmth.
Maybe even home.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
The drive took less than twenty minutes, but to Azzi it felt like an hour β her pulse climbing with every street they passed. Paige kept one hand on the wheel, glancing at Azzi every few seconds like she was afraid sheβd break.
βYou okay?β Paige asked softly.
Azzi nodded, even though her stomach felt like a fist.
βYeah. Justβ¦ thinking.β
βWanna talk about it?β
βNo.β
Paige just nodded once, not pushing. Somehow that made it worse, in the best way.
When they turned into Azziβs neighborhood, Paigeβs eyebrows lifted almost to her hairline.
βJesus,β she whispered. βThese houses have houses.β
Azzi let out a humorless breath. βWelcome to the part of town where no one actually lives in their home.β
Paige didnβt have a chance to respond β they had reached the long gated driveway of the Fudd estate.
Paigeβs jaw literally dropped.
βAzzi. This isnβt a house. This isβ¦ the White Houseβs hotter cousin.β
Azzi didnβt smile. Not really.
Just a small twitch of her lip.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
The house was too quiet.
Azzi led the way through the oversized entry doors. They opened with a low mechanical hum β too smooth, too cold.
Marble floors. White walls. Tall ceilings that made sound echo like the place was abandoned.
The house greeted them the same way it always did:
Perfect. Silent. Sterile. Quiet.
Not peaceful quiet β dead quiet. The kind that made Paigeβs skin crawl a little as the door clicked shut behind them.
They walked deeper into the house. Paige noticed immediately:
No photos. No shoes near the door. No jackets. No noise. Nothing personal.
βYour family isnβt home?β Paige asked carefully.
Azzi hesitated for the first time since they arrived.
Then she said flatly:
βMy dad hasnβt been home for the last three months.β
Paigeβs head snapped toward her. βWhat?β
Azzi kept walking, expression unreadable.
βHeβsβ¦ βtraveling for work.β Thatβs what he says, anyway. My mom pretends to believe him.β
Paige swallowed. βAnd what aboutβ?β
βMy mom is probably drunk in their room,β Azzi said with a short, humorless breath. βShe likes bourbon. A lot.β
Paige had no idea what to say. But Azzi wasnβt done.
βAnd my brother?β she continued, voice sharp and cold. βHeβs probably fucking someone in one of the guest rooms. Or his car. Or the pool house. Pick a place.β
Paige stopped walking altogether, staring at her like she was seeing her for the first time.
βAzziβ¦β
βItβs whatever,β Azzi said, waving a hand like she was swatting away a fly. βEveryone does their own thing. They donβt reallyβ¦ notice when Iβm gone.β
Paige stepped closer, slowly, like she was approaching a wounded animal she didnβt want to scare.
βLast night,β Paige said quietly, βyou got into a crash. You didnβt go home. You didnβt text. You didnβt answer your phone. And no one checked?β
Azzi opened her bedroom door instead of answering.
Paige stopped in the doorway.
It was gorgeous β massive bed, designer decorations, immaculate layout β but something felt wrong. Like it belonged in a catalog, not to a person.
Paige took one slow glance around.
βWhereβsβ¦ your stuff?β
βThis is my stuff.β
Paige frowned. βNo, likeβ¦ pictures. Posters. Mess. Clothes on the floor. Anything thatβ¦ looks lived in.β
βThis isβ¦ really pretty,β she admitted. βBut it looks like a hotel.β
βItβs supposed to,β Azzi said. She didnβt even look up.
βAz,β she said softly, βyouβre telling me all this like itβs nothing. Like itβs normal. But itβs not. And itβs okay to say that it hurts.β
Azzi zipped her bag hard β like she was trying to shut the conversation inside it.
βMy family is complicated, Paige.β
βComplicated doesnβt mean βabsent,ββ Paige said, voice cracking with something she hadnβt meant to show. βIt doesnβt mean drunk or gone orβ or whatever the hell your brother is doing. Thatβs not βcomplicated.β Thatβsββ
She stopped herself.
Azzi looked up slowly, guarded.
βThatβs what?β she whispered.
Paige took a breath.
βYou donβt deserve that.β
Azziβs throat tightened.
Her eyes glistened β not enough to cry, just enough to betray something sheβd never said out loud.
βIt doesnβt matter,β she said, voice barely holding together. βThey donβt care.β
Paige shook her head slowly. βI care.β
Azziβs eyes flicked up to hers so fast it almost hurt to watch.
Paige swallowed. βI care more than I should.β
Azziβs breath caught β sharp and quiet.
She stepped closer, not touching Azzi, but close enough that Azzi could feel the warmth of her.
βAz,β Paige said softly. βYou live in a house thatβs bigger than my whole blockβ¦ and it looks like nobody lives here. Not even you.β
Azzi blinked hard and looked away.
βItβs just a house.β
βItβs lonely,β Paige corrected, voice low. βYou donβt have to pretend with me.β
Azziβs throat tightened. She didnβt answer.
Instead, she lifted the duffel strap over her shoulder and turned toward the door.
Paige followed, but before they stepped out of the room, she gently caught Azziβs wrist β barely, lightly, like she was giving her room to pull away.
Azzi didnβt.
Paigeβs voice was barely above a whisper.
βYou donβt have to go back here alone tonight. Or tomorrow. Or whenever. I got you, okay?β
Azzi didnβt trust herself to speak.
So she just nodded.
And Paige let go of her wrist slowly, like she didnβt want to. She grabbed the duffel from Azzi before she could protest.
Azzi blinked. βYou donβt have toββ
βAz.β Paigeβs voice was firm, warm, unshakeable. βIβve got it.β
And for the first time in a long timeβ¦
β¦Azzi let someone else carry something for her.
Not the bag. Her weight. Her fear. Her loneliness.
All of it.
She followed Paige out of the room, through the silent halls, and back to the driveway.
They got in the car.
Azzi stared at the house one last time before Paige pulled away.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ-
Paigeβs home wasnβt big. Or fancy. Or silent.
It was warm. A little messy. A basketball on the porch. Shoes kicked off by the door. Music playing faintly inside. Someone laughing in the back room.
Azzi froze on the porch.
She didnβt know why.
Paige turned around, key in hand. βYou coming?β
Azzi swallowed. βYeah. Justβ¦ taking it in.β
Paige smiled and held the door open for her.
Warm light spilled out onto the porch.
Azzi stepped in.
It felt like stepping into another world.
A world where people actually lived. Existed. Loved each other.
Inside, the smell of something cooking greeted them immediately.
βMom?β Paige called.
A woman in scrubs turned the corner, eyes bright and warm. βYouβre home early, babyββ Her eyes landed on Azzi. βOh!β Her face lit up. βYou must be Azzi.β
Azzi blinked. ββ¦Hi.β
Paige scratched the back of her neck. βShe crashed her car last night so that why she looks like thisβ She said with a laugh.
Azzi waited for judgment. Concern. Questions she didnβt want to answer.
Instead, Paigeβs mom smiled. Soft, warm, grounding.
βHi sweetheart. You mustβve had one hell of a night.β
Azzi blinked.
Sweetheart? No interrogation? No tension? Just⦠kindness?
βLet me grab my kit,β she continued. βIβll check your cuts, make sure everythingβs healing properly. Sit wherever you like.β
Her mom took one look at the cuts on Azziβs face and instantly switched into nurse mode.
βJesus, babygirl,β she murmured, stepping closer. βYouβve had a rough night.β
She gently cupped Azziβs jaw with gloved hands.
βAny dizziness? Nausea? Blurry vision?β
Azzi shook her head, caught off guard by how gentle she was. βNo, um β Iβm okay. Just bruised.β
Paigeβs momβs expression melted, warm and relieved. βGood. Let me clean the cuts and check your arms, okay? Youβre in good hands, I promise.β
Azziβs chest tightened painfully.
No one had talked to her like that inβ¦ she didnβt even know how long. Maybe ever.
Paigeβs dad appeared too, tall and soft-spoken, giving Azzi the same gentle smile.
Dinner was loud and easy, the kind of messiness Azzi had never been allowed to have in her house. People talked over each other, joked, passed plates, teased Paige lovingly.
At one point, Paigeβs mom placed a warm hand on Azziβs arm.
βYouβre safe here, okay?β
Something inside her nearly cracked.
Safe. She couldnβt remember the last time anyone told her that.
Azzi nodded, biting back something fragile in her throat.
For the first time in a long time⦠she felt like she was somewhere she belonged.
Somewhere warm. Somewhere human. Somewhere safe.
And she didnβt know what scared her moreβ
How good it felt.
Or how much she didnβt want to leave.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
By the time they got back from Paigeβs house β cuts checked, dinner eaten, parents charmed without even trying β the sky had already turned deep blue. KK was gone with Mr. Smith probably out to dinner, the place was quiet.
Paige unlocked the side door, letting Azzi walk in first.
It smelled like motor oil, old leather, and something that was undeniably Paige.
Azzi breathed it in. Too long. Too deep.
Paige noticed.
βMiss the place already?β she teased.
Azzi shrugged, trying to play it cool. βItβsβ¦ calming.β
Paige laughed softly. βWeird place to find peace.β
Azzi looked at her. βYouβre here.β
Paige froze. Just for half a second.
Then she swallowed, turned away, and pulled out the small stash she kept hidden behind an old toolbox.
βThis okay?β she asked softly.
Azzi nodded. βYeah.β
They sat on the hood of Azziβs half-fixed car, legs dangling, the city humming faintly outside. Azzi watched every movement, her eyes tracing Paigeβs fingers, her jaw, the little line her brows made when she concentrated.
Paige caught her staring.
βWhat?β Paige asked, smiling a little.
Azzi blinked. βNothing.β
Paige lit the joint, inhaled, then handed it to Azzi.
Azzi took it between her fingers and inhaled, the smoke burning β familiar and grounding. She held it out to Paige.
Paige leaned in instead of taking it.
Her mouth brushed Azziβs fingers. Barely.
Azziβs breath hitched.
Azzi took a hit, exhaled toward the ceiling.
βYou know,β Paige said, voice lower from the haze, βI donβt bring people home.β
Azzi looked at her. βEver?β
Paige shook her head. βYouβre the first.β
The joint paused halfway to Azziβs lips. βWhy me?β
Paige turned, eyes soft, glassy under the dim garage light.
βBecause you donβt pretend with me and if Iβm going to show my family something I want it to be genuine.β
Azzi didnβt look away.
Paige smiled β a small, private thing.
They passed the joint back and forth, knees brushing, silence warm and thick.
Azzi leaned back on her palms, head tilted. βToday didnβt feel real.β
Paige hummed. βWhat part?β
βAll of it. Youβ¦ showing up. Staying. Letting me meet your family. Teaching me about the car.β Azzi laughed softly. βPeople donβt do that for me.β
Paige looked at her, eyes dark and honest. βI will.β
Azziβs breath caught. βWhy?β
Paige didnβt blink. βBecause I care.β
Azziβs heart clenched painfully.
When the joint burned down to the filter, Paige put it out, wiping her fingers on her jeans. She tried to stand.
Azzi put a hand on her knee. βStay.β
Paige froze again β like Azzi had pressed pause on her entire nervous system.
βAzβ¦β Paige said, voice too soft, too careful. βYouβre high.β
βSo are you.β
βYeah butββ
Azzi leaned in closer. βI know what Iβm doing.β
Paige was breathing too fast for someone sitting still.
Azzi moved closer, knees brushing.
Closer, thighs pressed. Closer, foreheads nearly touching.
Paigeβs hand lifted β slowly, like she was fighting herself β and rested on Azziβs jaw. Her thumb brushed a fading bruise on Azziβs cheek.
Azzi shut her eyes at the touch.
βDoes it hurt?β Paige whispered.
βOnly when you stop touching me.β
Paigeβs breath stuttered.
That was it. The breaking point.
She leaned in β painfully slow β giving Azzi plenty of time to pull away.
Azzi didnβt.
She tilted her chin up instead.
Their noses brushed.
Their lips hovered.
Paige whispered, βTell me to stop.β
Azzi whispered, βWhy would I do that?β
And before the air could settle between them β
Paige kissed her.
Soft at first. Testing. Asking.
Azzi kissed back like she had been holding her breath for days.
Paige exhaled into her mouth, relief and want mixing into something dangerously sweet. Her hand slid to the back of Azziβs neck, pulling her in, finally letting herself feel everything she had been trying to shove down.
Azziβs fingers curled into Paigeβs hoodie, tugging her closer until their bodies touched.
The kiss deepened β still gentle, still slow β but with undertones of something neither of them had words for yet.
Azzi pulled back only when she absolutely needed air.
Paige chased her lips for a second before catching herself.
They stared at each other.
Breathing hard. Eyes wide.
βThis canβt be real.β Azzi said.
Paige chuckled. βItβs real tonight. Itβll be real tomorrow. And the day after that.β
Her voice dropped. βIβm not going anywhere, Az.β
The words hit deeper than anything else today.
Azzi let her head fall onto Paigeβs shoulder.
Paige closed her eyes.
And for a long time β neither of them moved.
They just sat there, foreheads touching, sharing the same tiny space like it was the safest place theyβd ever been.
And for Azzi?
Maybe it was.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βWhere do you want to sleep tonight?β Paige asked quietly, standing up slowly, like she didnβt want to break whatever fragile calm theyβd found. βWe can stay hereβ¦ or we can go back to my place.β
Azzi looked down at her hands. βI already bother your family too much to steal their daughter for another night,β she murmured. βYou should hang out with them for awhile. I can take a walk, clear my head.β
Paige stepped a little closer, her voice low and steady. βYou donβt bother them. Or me. They already love you.β She paused, searching Azziβs face. βBut if you need some air, we can do that. Together orβ¦ not. Whatever you need.β
Azzi finally met her eyes. βOkay,β she whispered.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ-
Azzi needed that walk. Too much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, and her head felt packed with static. She needed spaceβjust a few quiet minutes to breathe and get her shit together.
But Paige had looked at her with that gentle, stubborn concern and told her it wasnβt safe for her to be walking around alone. Sheβd offered a compromise instead: βGo out back. Sit by the fire for a bit. Iβll wait for you inside.β
And Azzi couldnβt argue with that. Not when Paige said it like she actually cared.
So thatβs what she did.
Okay. I got into a car accident. Absolutely destroyed my car. Called the one person I keep telling myself not to want, not to get attached to. She held me through my nightmares like it was her purpose to make me feel safe. Took me into her home. And now weβve kissed. Fuck.
Did it have to be a big deal? Her parents werenβt even around; they barely knew about half of her life. But if people at school saw them togetherβsaw themβthe rumor would reach them, and that never ended well.
She knew she should talk to Paige. Be honest. Explain that things were complicated in ways that werenβt entirely under her control. But the last thing she ever wanted was to make Paige feel like an option.
Because to Azzi, Paige wasnβt an option at allβshe was the only choice she wanted.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Meanwhile inside, Paige stood by the window, watching Azzi through the glass. The way her eyebrows pulled together when she was thinking too hard, the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her knees tucked to her chestβshe looked so small. So anxious. Paige felt her heart twist. She was already reaching for the door whenβ
βLeave her alone for a few minutes,β her mom said gently. βSheβs had a rough couple of days. Sheβll come back to you when sheβs ready.β
Paige swallowed, nodding. βYeah. Okay. Youβre right. I justβ¦ she looks anxious, and I donβt like that.β
βPaige, can you come sit for a moment?β
She sat beside her mom, suddenly feeling twelve again.
βBaby, whatβs going on? You donβt bring girls here. KK at most. You care about her so much...β
Paige sighed, running a hand through her hair. βI like her. Likeβ¦ a lot a lot. But sheβs a Fudd, mom. And donβt get me wrong, sheβs nothing like them. Sheβs fun and thoughtful and sweet and so incredibly kindβbut I canβt just ignore that detail. I tried convincing myself to put distance between us, that itβd be better for both of us. But I canβt do it. Something always pulls me back to her.β
Her mom took her hand. βLove doesnβt care about names, or money, or status. It just happens. It exists. And I think you should tell her, P. She needs at least one thing in her life that feels safeβsomething she doesnβt have to earn.β
Paigeβs voice dropped. βBut what if she doesnβt feel the same? What if Iβm justβ¦ a way for her to escape her house, her problems?β
βPaige,β her mom said softly, βAzzi Fudd has enough money in that trust fund to run away if she wanted to. She isnβt here because she needs you to save her life. Sheβs here because she wants you. And I see the way she looks at you. Just tell her, P. The best thing you can offer her is honesty and being there.β
Paige exhaled, shaky but convinced. βYeah. Okay.β
They were interrupted by Azziβs voice from the doorway.
βOhβsorry. I didnβt know you guys were talking. I can go back outside if you want to continue.β
βNo, babygirl, weβre done,β Paigeβs mom said, standing. βItβs probably time for all of us to go to bed.β
She wrapped Paige in a hug and kissed her forehead, then crossed the room to Azzi, pulling her into a warm, grounding embrace.
βTomorrow is a new day,β she murmured. βAnd you get to choose what to do with it. Take that chance.β
Azzi froze in her arms, overwhelmed.
βGoodnight, girls. Azzi, the guest room is yours if you want it. Or you can stay with Paige.β
βThank you. Seriously,β Azzi said, barely above a whisper.
βAnytime,β Paigeβs mom said, brushing a thumb over her cheek.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
They padded quietly to Paigeβs room.
βHop up,β Paige said softly, patting the space on the counter. βWe gotta take care of those cuts.β
And then she gave Azzi that smileβthe one that made her knees feel like they werenβt built for standing.
Azzi obeyed, watching as Paige stepped between her legs, her hands warm against Azziβs knee.
βOkay,β Paige murmured, slipping into caretaker mode. βSame as last night: clean, cream, patches, and then bed. You can take my bed if you wantβIβll sleep in the chair. I donβt want to leave you alone. Not after your nightmare.β
She began cleaning the cuts with gentle, practiced hands.
βPaige, come on,β Azzi protested softly. βIβm not kicking you out of your own bed.β
βItβs fine, seriously.β Paigeβs voice stayed calm, steady. βI just want you comfortable. Or, if you want the room to yourself, I can take the guest bedroom. My bedβs more comfortable anyway.β She started applying the cream.
Azzi shook her head. βNo. I want to be with you.β
Paige frozeβjust for a moment. βOkay.β
She finished applying the patches in silence. When she stepped away, Azzi didnβt move. Didnβt even blink.
Paige hesitated, then stepped back between her legsβcloser this time. Her hands found Azziβs thighs, thumbs rubbing instinctively. Paige had learned something about herself these last few days: she was a touchy person when she cared, when she wanted someone to feel safe. She just didnβt know if this was okay.
βThis okay?β she asked quietly.
Azzi didnβt answer with words. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Paigeβs neck and pulled her in until their foreheads met.
βMore than you know,β she whispered.
Azzi leaned inβjust enough that their lips brushed. Softer than the first kiss, but deeper, heavier, like something that felt suspiciously like home.
Paige pulled away first. She had to. If she didnβt, she wouldnβt be able to stop, and Azzi deserved more than a moment made of impulse and adrenaline.
Paige tapped Azziβs thigh. βOkay. Letβs go to bed.β
Azzi just nodded and followed her.
In bed, they lay side by side, shoulders touching, breaths synced like theyβd been doing this forever.
βThank you,β Azzi whispered. βFor everything. For giving meβat least for todayβa taste of what it feels like to be safe. Loved. Cared for.β
βIt doesnβt have to be just a day,β Paige murmured, turning her head toward her. βIβve got you, Az. Always.β
Tomorrow would be a new day. A day Azzi could choose what to do with.
And now, with Paige beside her, breathing the same quiet air, Azzi didnβt know howβbut she knew who.
She was going to choose her. Choose this.
Every. Single. Time.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
A/N: Hii! Iβm loving how this is turning out. Most of you said you prefer longer chapters a couple times a week, so thatβs exactly what weβre doing! I hope you enjoyed this chapter β feel free to talk to me in the comments or send anons, your reactions are always welcome. Love you guys! π€
-Fer π
Sooo good ππ
