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current state of the internet is a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. was chatting with my grandma bout the history of crochet and knitting (and the comparative ages of those respective technologies) and i was like "oh YEAH and also that ancient greek fiber art we partly figured out from chemically testing the scoured bleached pigments of stolen statuary (tumblr knows what im talking about)—gimme 30 seconds to look up the name."
5 minutes and 3 search-engines later i am crying tears of blood screaming spitting blubbering in despair as my grandma attempts to digitally pat me consolingly on the back. the library of alexandria didn't burn it was "restructured" to "increase shareholder profits"
i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:
the google execs erased it. they bleached my bestie AGAIN from history...
Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:
The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!
Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏
Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!
in conclusion let us take a moment to sincerely wish Google a very burn in hell🙏
I mean, I get mixing them up based on names alone, but I’m concerned about the people who think Martin Luther King Jr. routinely wrote with a quill or dressed like a Renaissance man.
tumblr staff will not contact you through anything other than email or their official accounts, which will all have this badge:
DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS OR SIMILAR ACCOUNTS AND ABSOLUTELY DO NOT CLICK ANY LINKS FROM IT.
report and block. i'd also appreciate it if you shared this post, bc that blog was JUST created and was already tagging a LOT of people, and i know not everyone has the scam-sensing instinct, even if this might seem obvious to some.
I was laughing at this account when they told one of my sideblogs it had won money in a giveaway. All the "bots" were like, half-hearted fandom accounts for fandoms Gen Z is into, and since when does tumblr have money to give away? No website does that XD
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
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“Guys,” she says loudly, stopping in her tracks and halting Jeyne and Randa along with her.
All her friends' attention turn to her, but her mind is reeling because she just realized that if she misses him this much and she wants to be with him all the time, then doesn’t that mean -
“I’m in love with Jon,” she admits aloud, her tummy suddenly swirling with butterflies at the mere thought.
All her friends groan in response, and Randa says, “We know.”
flux
Historical, Poldark AU
Rating: M
Summary:
Maybe he should have just died in that fetid swamp they call America.
or; Jon returns home from war to find the woman he loves engaged to his brother. He must learn to move on.
Across the Universe
Modern AU, Single mom Sansa
Rating: G
Summary:
Purely fictional, of course. Sansa knew that something like that would never happen. She and Jon were so far removed from another, she couldn’t remember the last time she and Jon had exchanged words. (Lie. She knew it was at the small baby shower her mother threw for her before Brandon’s birth and Jon had gifted her a pirate ship bath toy.)
to live a happy life (the best revenge)
Modern AU
Rating: T
Summary:
Jon has just gotten back from his morning run when his eyes catch the fancy beige envelope in the mail pile. His eyes narrow, immediately suspicious, and he reaches for it. He opens it slowly and scowls when it is exactly what he suspected it to be - an invitation to his brother’s wedding, who happens to be getting married to his ex.
Devour
Show verse, canon divergence
Rating: E
Summary:
Sansa confronts Jon for giving up his title as king in the north.
"All for a cunt?"
Jon devours her.
Winter Heat
Book verse, canon divergence
Rating: G
Summary:
The greatest threat to the King in the North isn't the army of the dead... it's Sansa Stark
in the service of the king
Book verse, canon divergence
Rating: E
Summary:
Jon is King in the North but he has been distracted lately, and they cannot afford any mistakes. Sansa will do anything to help her king and the north.
Pray & Love
Show verse, canon divergence
Rating: G
Summary:
Is it you? Have my prayers been answered?
Is it really you standing there?
Or am I dreaming once more?
You look different
Your eyes look tired
Your frame is lighter
Your smile, torn
Is it really you, my love?
What Remains
Show verse, canon divergence
Rating: T
Summary:
It's after the Battle of the Bastards, after feeding the dogs with Ramsay's flesh, that she feels a knot in her stomach. Perhaps it's the horror, the blood, the war, the stress. She tells herself.
Alayne. Like Jeyne
Book verse, Jon x Alayne
Rating: E
Summary:
A bastard like her was born of lust, lies, and weakness. She could only hope Jon was not as dishonorable as she was. She could only hope Jon was as foolish and honorable as his half-brother.
a brand new world to see
Pokemon AU
Rating: G
Summary:
When Jon Snow was ten years old, he left Winterfell with a backpack, a paper map, half a dozen sandwiches his mom made and Robb Stark near skipping next to him like the world had already been won and their dream conquered.
Neither of them had badges yet. Neither knew anything about surviving away from home much less in the wild. They knew only two things for certain: they were going to cross the country together and one day they were both going to stand in Old Town and challenge the Citadel League.
Everyone just forgot to tell them Sansa Stark would be able to do it much faster and with much more ease.
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