Et cetera

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don’t really see ourselves. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart. There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.

Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.

You make me much more, more than I deserve to be, more than I believe.

Two years later A girl sits in front of her ex lover. He doesn’t say a word And her heart doesn’t ache for him anymore. Her hair is longer than it’s ever been. She is even more beautiful than the day he left her. And at that moment, He panics. He lost her. And he can never have her back. He can just watch her be beautiful And in love With someone else.

My alone feels so good. I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.