Path Along the Water

[video description: a video of a baby fox playing in a graveyard. end description.]

its okay babe i know things are pretty bad but one day a baby fox will frolick over our bones. the rubble, the decay, the decline....it will all be beautiful again

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

i talked ab this feeling in therapy yday and my therapist asked me, “would it really be so bad if your memories changed? if they softened and faded or looked different over time? why does that frighten you so much?” and i said, “i don’t want the love to disappear.” and she looked at me for a long moment and then she said, “it won’t. it doesn’t work that way. even if the memories soften or change, it doesn’t mean the love does. that love keeps going backward in time, forever, because you love her still. all is not lost.” i just thought i would share that in case it resonated w anyone else too.

i love you kind personification of death i love you compassionate anthropomorphism of loss i love you caring concept beyond our imagination i love you loneliest being in the universe i love you discworld death