ramblings of a writer

I started taking it more seriously, working on my own original projects, and tbh, being the way that I am, I really do tend towards being overly critical. When it comes to anything I do even somewhat seriously, I am the meanest critic on planet Earth. I hope that one day I can get over this but it’s really been ruining writing for me. 

I’ve been trying to do something to kickstart me again on writing well and truly--that, incidentally, is what the username is for, this was my “second shot” at writing. Third time’s the charm, I guess. 

I’m not really committing myself to this, really, because honestly college has taken a lot out of me and my mental health has never been great, but in an effort to get my inner critic to shut the fuck up, I’m gonna try to post… Just a whole bunch of fic over the next coming weeks/months. I’m still working on original projects, too, but I really do miss fic. I miss the space it took up as like, the homeland for my wild ideas. But I consume less and less popular media the less time I have, and so I get in these weird ruts, so I’m both running out of material to inspire me in my original projects and running out of things to write fic for.

This is a rant for another day, but sometimes I really do worry I’m no longer consuming anything of value, I’m just... Consuming content.

I don’t really know. I just want to love writing like how I used to. My hope is that over the next couple weeks/months, I write fic that’s more or less without thought. As in, I post whatever I write, no matter how short, no matter how long.

I wanna try to clear out my drafts. There’s, I shit you not, more than TWO GIGS worth of writing that I just haven't finished and posted. Hundreds of thousands of words. 

I don’t want to plan things till they die. I don’t want to edit them into oblivion and never post them. I don’t want to let stuff rot in my google drive as soon as they’re done because I’m being so critical of them that I can’t even edit them without getting all… Weird about it. 

This sounds dramatic,and I guess it sort of is, but I don't know. I’ve felt this way for a long while. If I don’t find my love in it again, I think I’ll take a break. A real, proper, long break.  Not one where I write and leave things in my drafts, not one where I constantly Think About writing things but never do. I just stop properly for a little while and hopefully figure myself out in the meantime. 

tumblr hasnt fixed my broken replies yet but clearly the solution is to just play it constantly in the bg and repeatedly until it sticks while you are doing things. become star trek. embody star trek. also u are not a bad writer and fic is for fun anyhow. gg ez next question

I forgot how I formatted these so I’m not bothering to keep it consistent rn.

Rating: Teen

Pairing: None

Characters: Dogmeat, Ian, Tycho, The Vault Dweller, and I guess a collection of OC’s

Summary: It wasn’t a big dog. In fact, quite the opposite, it was pretty damn small. It’s wiry brownish fur was falling out in patches, it’s skin scratched up and scarred. If Jesse had seen it out in the wasteland, he wouldn’t have been afraid. He might even feel pity for it.