i am working on getting these all on tumblr but it'll be a minute!
Nicest Thing
āYou deserve it, though, Wyll. You deserve a fairytale. And youāre too fucking nice, so youāre trying to convince yourself you donāt want it, but you do. And Iām going to keep you from it.ā
āI have the fairytale,ā he shrugs. āIām living it. Every second I get to spend with you, every kiss, every time you make me laugh, itāsā¦perfect.ā
Your eyes are stinging now, and you blink furiously, avoiding his gaze. āThose stories, those fairytales, Iām not in them. Theyāre not about girls like me. Those girls are sweet and pretty and delicate. Theyāre not insecure, or angry. They donāt have horns and a tail. Theyāre not fucking turquoise, Wyll.ā
āThey are when I read them.ā
You went to school with Wyll for 12 years, and then he disappeared months before graduation. 10 years later he shows up as The Blade of Frontiers, the celebrity folk hero you've been singing drinking songs about in bars all over Baldur's Gate. You have to work with him to try and bring down the Absolute, but he's got some secrets standing in the way.
Not quite enemies to lovers, but not NOT enemies to lovers. I'm mostly just trying to give Wyll a more fleshed-out story and romance bc there's so much to work with!! He's such an interesting character and I will die on that hill.
Read on AO3
Too Good (formerly Overlooked)
The hope makes you think ridiculous things, like how it would be the easiest thing in the world to just tell him how you feel. And maybe if you did, heād be receptive. Maybe even tell you he feels the same. Thatās completely ridiculous of course, absolutely unthinkable, but then he leans in so attentively and stares into your soul and it really, really starts toĀ feelĀ true.
So the words rise in your throat and move to the tip of your tongue andāhells, it would be so easy to just say it. It would be such a relief.
And then the fear claws at you, pulling the words back before they can escape.
You and Astarion are besties, but he's been really weird the past few weeks and you don't know why... friends to lovers and verrryyy slow burn, just yearning as far as the eye can see, will likely end with some smut
āI think, my love, that if we survive this, I have some work to do.ā
Mina/Astarion | 11/11 chapters | Mature (I'll mark the smut chapters!)
This began from the idea that Astarion's friendship ending feels (to me) like his most happy and self-actualized ending, and maybe he needs those 6 months on his own before he can have a romantic happily-ever-after.
But it turns out she was used to being the one in the relationship with her shit together and when that's no longer the case she has some shit to figure out as well...
Read on tumblr: only chapter 5 is posted here so far (because it's my fave and it stands alone decently) but i will update as that changes!
A flip of a switch (formerly At Your Mercy)
Being as beautiful as he was, people wanting him the way they certainly seemed to everywhere they went, it must be impossible for him to feel safe anywhere. To feel whole. To feel like a mind attached to a body rather than floating outside of it. Gods, but he had such a good mind.
ā¦ Did he know that? What if he didnāt know that? What if he thought she only wanted his body? Surely he wasnāt that dense?
Oh gods, she realized.Ā He absolutely is.
Mina/Astarion | 6/6 chapters (for now) | Mature
A prequel to Disarmed, picking up a few nights after the tiefling party/the first time they sleep together. Focuses a lot on Astarion working through his shit, the two of them figuring out sexual and non-sexual intimacy, all that good stuff. Also very fluffy. I took destiny into my own hands and changed the title and I donāt hate it anymore!
"I left you alone, and Iām sorry, and it kills me knowing I hurt you, but everyone is going to leave me alone in the end, even you.ā
Rielle/Astarion | 4/? chapters | smut-free just sad as hell
Rielle hasn't seen Astarion for two centuries, and then he shows up at her art show (where several of the paintings are of him) for a painful reunion.
This is set 200 years after the events of the game, so the only surviving members of the core party are Rielle (tav), Astarion, Halsin, and Shadowheart, and Halsin and Shadowheart are near the ends of their lifespans. It's about Astarion wrestling with losing the first people he ever allowed himself to care about and the fact that he's an immortal spawn who's just going to keep losing people- is it even worth loving them in the first place?
If you can't tell this is just pure angst lol I am hurting my own feelings by writing this fic
"She wants to destroy youābut with her, for the first time, you think you make sense."
Female Durge/Astarion | 2/2 chapters | smut-free
An exploration of Durge and Astarion's complicated relationships with their sisters. I edited these minimally so they're a little more stream-of-consciousness. Ch 1 is Durge pov (2nd person though, you are Durge and Durge is you) and ch 2 is Astarion pov.
Read on AO3: chapter 1 | chapter 2
Read on tumblr: chapter 1 | chapter 2
We Were
āIf the timing had been different, do you think we ever could have been in love?ā
āWe were, darling.ā
You and Gale are happily married, but an old friend's wedding gets you thinking about the past and how things might have been different. Bittersweet and sad in the way life is sad even when it's not.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Sue Tilley was 35 years old and working in a London employment office when she disrobed and let British artist Lucian Freud paint her in the nude. On Wednesday, one of Freudās four nude portraits of her sold at Sothebyās London for $39 million, the third-highest auction price for the artist.
āMona Lisa wasnāt alive when she became famousābut I am,ā Tilley said of the interest in her 1995-96 portrait, āSleeping by the Lion Carpet.ā
(I don't have a subscription to WSJ but I'll link the whole article anyway.)
we talk about how cis people are just handed a gender and accept it without thought but I think what we fail to mention is that the same happens with sexuality
this extends beyond the bounds of simple heterosexuality. it's also about being told that you enjoy skinny white cis women with button noses and straight hair and no stretch marks and no cellulite etc. lotta gay people never let go of that one!
i want to say that this isnāt an attempt to guilt you into learning. i donāt want you to disingenuously draw fat bodies because i made you feel bullied, or because you want some sort of online clout. iām tired of begging other artists to do something they obviously donāt want to do, so iām not begging. iām stating what i think of you and your work. no matter your skill, no matter your presence: itās weird if fat people donāt exist in your art
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter
it's interesting bringing up some transfeminist theory to my drag race watching cis therapist thinking she'll disagree but then she just starts spitting incredible transfeminist truth that would cause 100 years discourse on tumblr.
she was telling me that all her transmasc clients have soared up through their careers and have private insurance, while all her transfem clients are financially struggling and are on state insurance
she was like "they transition into privilege and patriarchy is happy to accept them as men" and what's awesome is she said her transmasc clients generally understand this privilege and use it responsibly, including in support of trans women
and you know to be clear these aren't even things I would have said. I mean there's definitely Nuance at the very least. if I were to say the "transitioning into privilege" and "being accepted by patriarchy as men" things myself I'd want to be able to prove them out relatively rigorously, and I haven't done that, so don't take this as me doing a full cosign on these claims. but damn, she did just kind of say them
on the transitioning into privilege thing: I don't tend to say this one because I think it's at least probably not linearly true. my theory of this one is kind of in a fetal development stage but I tend to imagine that coming out as trans is a sharp drop in privilege not immediately outweighed by manhood, but then that passing as a man and performing masculinity start to up one's privilege again. #privilegemath
on the "being happily accepted into patriarchy" thing, my therapist was saying that men tend to be cool with it because it reaffirms that manhood is good and desireable. I hadn't really considered that angle in my own analysis. I usually operate under the assumption that an oppressor class will not be so happy to accept upward movement with open arms, but maybe your average man is not really concerned with gatekeeping manhood as a class, so long as the goodness of masculinity is being affirmed? definitely a thought that's influencing my theory a little
gonna be honest that therapist is just spitting straight facts and I've seen it first hand. my own mom refused to accept me as a woman and in the same breath praised a trans man who works for her without even a hint of disapproval or a single pronoun slipup. benjamin "shitstain" shapiro complimented a trans man's masculinity directly and didnt even rescind it after he told him he's trans.
and yeah, the reason trans women are specifically targeted is directly because our very existence denies the validity of the patriarchy, which bakes into our very society that men must be above women. choosing to be a woman and throwing away being a man is inherently counter to that.
same reason women can wear pants but men cant wear skirts. its always been baked in that its (relatively) okay to choose masculinity over femininity, but absolutely not ever the other way around. femininity is supposed to be something to be forced into, not sought out.
additionally, its actually necessary for an oppressor class to accept "upward" movement, when it means joining their ranks. this goes for any class with higher privilege. the best way to gain influence is to grow, and accepting new members into your class is an easy way to do that. it's why missionaries are like, even a thing.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
