Poor Lily
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Remus: Shit.
Sirius: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
James: OH MY GOD LILY FELL OFF!!!
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Poor Lily
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Remus: Shit.
Sirius: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
James: OH MY GOD LILY FELL OFF!!!

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Remus, tending to Sirius's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Sirius: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
Hide and Seek
Remus: Where's Sirius, James, and Lily? Peter: They're playing hide and seek. Remus: Where? Peter: I don't think you get how this game works.
In the perfect Harry Potter universe:
Regulus: Who the fuck signed me up for a Daily Prophet subscription?
Sirius: >:O language
James: Yeah watch your fucking language
Remus: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JAMES THE FUCK WORD?
Lily: 'The fuck word'.
Harry: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
James: Oh my god he censored it
Lily: Say fuck, Harry.
James: Do it, Harry. Say fuck
Remus: You often use humor to deflect trauma Sirius: Thank you Remus: I didn't say that was a good thing Sirius: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

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Harry: If you had to choose between Hermione and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Ron: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Hermione: Ron!
Harry: A sickle.
Ron: I'll take the money.
Hermione: RON!!!
How would Harry Potter the philosopher’s stone look like if Dumbledore wasn’t manipulative:
-Harry would of been sent to a family chosen by the ministry.
-Lucius Malfoy would have been Harry’s guardian, he has too much control in the ministry.
-Harry would of known he was a wizard.
-Harry would of probably made friends with Draco.
-There is also a slight possibility of him getting spoiled.
-Harry wouldn’t become friends with Ron or meet the Weasleys, from him already having friends.
-Harry would of gotten into Slytherin.
-Harry would know more about potions because Snape is Draco’s godfather.
-Harry would of told Snape about Quirrell.
-Harry wouldn’t of saved Hermione, not knowing her.
I almost forgot
-Harry wouldn’t have gotten on the quidditch team.
Sirius casually telling his sad backstory
James, banging on the door: Sirius! Open up!
Sirius: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Peter: No, he meant-
Remus: Let him finish.
Why do so many main characters have dead, absent or abusive parents. For example:
-Percy Jackson
Father left him, called him a mistake to his face.
-Harry Potter
Parents are dead, mother was killed in front of him.
-Bruce Wayne
Parents died from sabotage.
-Damian Wayne
Psycho Mother, messed up father.
-Sophie Foster
Made from an experiment, Parents are unknown.
-Raven
Dad is set on ruling earth.
-Tony Stark
Abusive father.
-Cinderella
Dead parents, abusives step mother.
-Peter Parker
Dead parents, dead uncle, dead father figure.
-Draco Malfoy
Abusive father.
-Gon Freecs
Father abandoned him to live his life.
-Killua Zoldyck
Don’t even get me started on Killua almost his whole family is abusive on top of that they’re assassins.
-Izuku Midoriya
Father went to go buy milk.
I would go on but I’d be here for days.
I mean. I could give you an actual answer? Was this just an excuse to write down the names of your favs and have them all together, I totally get that if that’s what it was.
Nope just an idea that popped into my head.
They’re not all my favourites just the characters that ppl are most likely to know. Except Sophie I don’t think most people know who she is.
Why do so many main characters have dead, absent or abusive parents. For example:
-Percy Jackson
Father left him, called him a mistake to his face.
-Harry Potter
Parents are dead, mother was killed in front of him.
-Bruce Wayne
Parents died from sabotage.
-Damian Wayne
Psycho Mother, messed up father.
-Sophie Foster
Made from an experiment, Parents are unknown.
-Raven
Dad is set on ruling earth.
-Tony Stark
Abusive father.
-Cinderella
Dead parents, abusives step mother.
-Peter Parker
Dead parents, dead uncle, dead father figure.
-Draco Malfoy
Abusive father.
-Gon Freecs
Father abandoned him to live his life.
-Killua Zoldyck
Don’t even get me started on Killua almost his whole family is abusive on top of that they’re assassins.
-Izuku Midoriya
Father went to go buy milk.
I would go on but I’d be here for days.

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I tried a different kind of style, I’m used to line art. The results were, scary.
I don’t even think she has a nose.
I gave up half way if u couldn’t tell.
When your hungry while watching anime, and food scenes start playing.
Like we get it you have good food, no need to rub it in.
The Marauders before every prank they’re about to pull.
James: I think we're missing something.
Sirius: Teamwork?
Peter: Cohesion?
Remus: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Can you write a Cedric diggory fanfic?
X Reader where she’s jealous of cho but then he asks her to the Yule ball
Cedric Diggory x Hufflepuff Reader (One-sided) + Surprise ship by the end because I felt like it. Based on Invisible by Anna Clendening. This is my first XR
Ever since fourth year, you’ve had a huge crush on Cedric Diggory, it was now seventh year and you’ve still done nothing about it. You try so hard to avoid it, to avoid him, to avoid breaking your heart. For everyone knew that his eyes were on Cho Chang, and Cho Chang only. Yet you always seemed to pass him by in the halls, every time you did your heart felt like flying out of your chest. If it kept happening you were sure you’d need to get a new heart soon. You made so many plans to try and date him, made speeches in front of the mirror. However seeing him with Chang only disheartened you. As a child you thought that once you found your first love, the two of you would grow old and live happily ever after, like the princesses in muggle stories. Though seeing reality now, you think not.
You have grown past a little crush now. You love Cedric Diggory, and though you two are in the same house. You are sure he doesn’t even know you exist. You have watched him for the past three years, you know his schedule by heart, his best friends and worst enemies. You know his favorite and most hated classes. Yet he doesn’t even know your name. During last year’s Valentine’s day you tried to confess, but every time you saw him, he was with Chang.
You started to wonder if you were invisible, if life would be simpler if you just let go of his crush. If he would ever even take a glance at you. You thought it wasn't fair for him to be so lovable, that you think about him all the time. You thought it wasn’t fair that he could make you trip by the sight of him. Instead, Chang is the one who fills his thoughts, Chang is the one who makes him stubble when he walks. Now you think it’s just silly that you love someone who doesn’t know you exist. So, you made a plan, you were going to confess and hope for the best. You were going to make Cedric Diggory notice you.
You waited for the perfect time, and the perfect time came. The Yule ball would be happening in one week and you were going to confess to Cedric during dinner in the great hall.
“Cedric?” You said, asking for his attention.
“Hello, I’m sorry I don’t know your name.” That one statement took a blow to your heart, but you resisted and continued on.
“ I’m Y/N Y/L/N, and…” You paused, this was it. You realized, if he rejected you now, you didn’t know what you’d do, but you had to do this.
“Yes?”
“Cedric, I have been enamored by you for the past three years and I had to get this off of my chest. I like you, and I was hoping you’d go to the Yule ball with me?”
“I’m sorry but, I’m taking Cho to the ball.”
You knew it you never had a chance in the first place. Soon whispers filled the room, not wanting to embarrass yourself further you gave a quiet apology and kept your head up as you exited the hall. As soon as you knew no one was near, you immediately broke down and sobbed your heart out. It was always Chang, Chang and her perfect dark eyes, straight dark brown hair, her petite figure and tiny waist. Not to mention your feminine personality. With someone like that why did she think Cedric would ever like someone like her.
Because of your rejection you skipped the Yule ball. Luckily for you, you never saw Cedric in the halls again. Slowly you started to heal the hole in your heart, there would always be a part of you that would keep Cedric close, but you knew it was time to move on. By the time the third task started, you were determined to ask Cedric if you two could become friends, feeling this necessary to move on. You waited anxiously for Cedric to come back. Delacour and Krum came back, and you started to worry, for they were in bad shape but you held onto hope. After a while, Potter came bleeding from his arm, he looked horrid, and you started to think Cedric might not come back after all. Soon the news came out that Cedric Diggory was dead. For a few weeks you hated him, for dying without you being able to get complete closure. Then you realized that you were being selfish. Chang was probably taking this worse for she was actually dating him.
After graduation you attended the funeral, there were a bunch of purebloods, and half bloods from ancient houses. You kept to the back row not knowing how Chang would take to you being there. As you were about to leave you heard someone talk from behind you.
“He was the best wasn’t he.”, your eyes widened in horror as you recognised the voice of the one person you wanted to avoid. You turned around and looked them in the eyes, “ You’re Y/L/N right? Y/N Y/L/N?”
The only thing you could think to do is nod your head.
” It was nice seeing you here, it’s nice seeing someone who was also in love with Cedric that isn’t so..bratty here. I hope that we can meet up sometime in the future. Have a good day.” With that she walked away. You were so shocked by that interaction that you didn’t notice someone bump into you and knock you to the ground.
“ Watch where you stand, these robes are probably worth more than one of your eyelashes.”
It was Draco Malfoy standing in front of you looking as dressed up as always.
“What is your status and your last name?”
“I’m a halfblood to the house Y/L/N.” You stuttered on some words not believing that someone so handsome was talking to you, some ugly girl at a funeral.
“That’s not so bad, I guess.”
He then held out his hand. You looked at him in confusion for this was out of character for the Malfoy heir.
“Well are you going to take it or not! I haven't got all day!”
You took his hand and walked with him to the apparition point, before you left he asked you to go out with him for lunch. You accepted and the two of you started to go out more often. Eventually you started dating, got married, then had a few kids. If someone were to tell you that you’d end up with Draco Malfoy, you’d probably faint then start ranting about how Cedric Diggory was the only one for you. However looking back now, you were happy with how everything turned out. You were still sad of Cedric’s death, but you wouldn’t trade what you had with Draco for anything.
Dumbledore: I need your help
Harry: Hang on I have to ask my parents
Dumbledore: wha-
Harry: *pulls out a Ouija board* Hey mom and dad, can I go with Dumbledore in a mission?
Lily and James from the afterline: A-B-S-O-L-Y-T-E-L-Y N-O-T
Harry: They said no :/
Dumbledore:
If Harry just did this for every decision he made, the books would be way smaller.

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How Prisoner of Azkaban should have ended:
Harry: I just don't think my dad would've wanted his two best friends to become murderers.
Sirius: Well if it's anyone's decision, it's yours Harry. *Turns back to Peter* But if you try to transform then we will kill you. Fair?
Harry & Remus: Fair
Hermione: Why don't you just stun him? Then he won't be able to get away?
Remus: That's certainly a better idea, Hermione. Now why didn't we think of that, Sirius?
*Remus bandages Ron's leg with a spell and they prepare to leave, with unconscious Snape and Peter levitating by Snape's wand that Sirius is holding*
Sirius: Wait! Remus, it's a full moon!
Remus: So it is. All of you get out and make sure the willow isn't frozen anymore.
*Hesitantly Sirius leads them all out and talks to Harry about him being godfather and the chance of him staying with him.*
*They arrive at the castle to find McGonagall stood probably waiting for Harry, Hermione and Ron to return.*
McGonagall: S-Sirius?
Sirius, smirking somewhat: Hello Minnie
Harry: Professor! He's innocent! It wasn't him that betrayed my parents! It was Pettigrew!
McGonagall: Peter's alive?
Sirius, nodding: He killed all of those muggles to frame me and then transformed.
*They sort it all out. The minister acknowledges that Sirius is innocent. Peter is sent to Azkaban and Snape doesn't expose Remus to the Slytherins. Sirius leaves the school and says that he'll see Harry at the end of term.*
Harry, looking out of the train window: He's there!
Ron, looking too: This really is your year, Harry.
Harry moves in with Sirius and Remus, who was persuaded by Sirius to move into the house. Ron and Hermione visit a lot and Harry has his first proper birthday party. They all go to the Quidditch World Cup with the Weasleys. Arthur gets Sirius a job in his department.
At the beginning of term, Remus and Harry get on the train and go back to Hogwarts. They all love happily until some other death eater inevitably resurrects Voldemort (probably Bellatrix)