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@parenting-reblogs
Parents: "children should be taught that actions have consequences"
Okay, let them stay up till 5 in the morning and feel like shit for the next day, eat a bag of candy in one go and have a huge stomach ache, go out without an umbrella and catch a cold, watch a violent movie and get scared?
Parents: "actually, we mean screaming and beating the crap out of them when they try to do these things"
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Parents: "children should be taught that actions have consequences"
Okay, let them stay up till 5 in the morning and feel like shit for the next day, eat a bag of candy in one go and have a huge stomach ache, go out without an umbrella and catch a cold, watch a violent movie and get scared?
Parents: "actually, we mean screaming and beating the crap out of them when they try to do these things"
hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves
I hate how it's always "stop letting your teenagers drink energy drinks!!!" And never "stop letting energy drink companies put dangerous amounts of caffeine into their drinks and stop letting them market to teenagers" or "stop forcing teenagers to be at constant sleep deficits because of early wake ups and absurd homework and stress loads" but hey who cares why not blame the literal child for trying to stay awake enough to match the absurd expectations y'all have for us now
"People are not property!" - *loud cheering*
"This includes prisoners! They are not suddenly property of the state when they're convicted!" - *a little less cheering*
"And that includes children who are not their parents' property!" - *almost no cheering*
"What? I thought we said people aren't property?"
“children should be protected!” - *loud cheering*
“children should have the resources to get out of bad situations divorced from their parents!” - *a little less cheering*
“it’s not invasive to ensure that the parents of children are doing their proper jobs to do everything for that child, and we need to not only provide resources for the parents to help the family but also for the child to receive help in the case that the parent fails to give the proper support to them!” - *almost no cheering*
“What? I thought we said children should be protected?”
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"People are not property!" - *loud cheering*
"This includes prisoners! They are not suddenly property of the state when they're convicted!" - *a little less cheering*
"And that includes children who are not their parents' property!" - *almost no cheering*
"What? I thought we said people aren't property?"
when you tell people passports don't need to exist and people should be able to travel as they did throughout most of human history they think that's going too far because in their mind there exists a hoard of nameless faceless immigrants waiting to flood their country and "take over". without realising that there is nothing inherently superior about the imperial core countries - the culture, the food, the clothing, the architecture is not superior than that of the rest of the world. all you've got going for you are the benefits reaped from hundreds of years of historical colonisation and the continuing benefits of modern day imperialism. do you think if people's homes weren't subject to manufactured violence, artificial scarcity, and systematic disenfranchisement they'd all just wanna leave? can you not imagine a life where someone would be happier living in uganda than the usa?
when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late
our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase
i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior
5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.
[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]
Thank you all, i needed further explanation - And i do find it might help me!
“thoughts are supposed to be innovative, so if you're going in circles, something's wrong.”
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I would actually go as far as to say that MOST abuse is unintentional. I think most people will go through their lives without ever experiencing intentional abuse. People are abusive because they're selfish, because they're stressed, because they care more about what society thinks they should do than the impacts of their actions on their children and partners, because they think what they're doing is correct, because they've made it make sense in their own heads, because they think they can fix their victims, they think they can fix their relationships, they think they can stop you from leaving, they think they can make you a better partner to them, they think that means you need to do what they want. We've sort of constructed mental illness in a way that doing this shit to other people counts as a form of mental illness because it is anti social behavior in the literal sense— it is behavior that causes social harm.
I don't say any of this to excuse it. I think everyone needs to be more aware of this because if you think abuse has to be intentional you will never realize you are capable of abusive behavior. You will never realize you are being shitty to the people you love, because YOU know what you mean, YOU know you don't mean any harm. But you're doing harm. You need to pay attention to the impact you have on other people, and you need to do it all the time, Especially when you feel least capable of doing so. Sorry! You live in a society. Get your head out of your ass.
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
You can’t call yourself a leftist if you hate children tbh, like you can choose not to have them or be around them, but outright hating the most marginalised group of people in the world who have absolutely no power or control over the most basic parts of their lives and bodies is a dangerous mentality to have and you need to grow the fuck up and get out of your edgy phase and start treating everyone around you like human beings, even the ones that piss you off.
Like the older I get, the more empathy I have for children. Imagine living on this planet for less than a decade and having to figure out every single thing from scratch, only for the people around you to treat you like a living doll and constantly invalidate your feelings because you haven’t learned how to express them beyond screaming at the top of your lungs, like you’d be having meltdowns in the grocery store as well. The least you can do is offer them some grace, everything is so fucking confusing and scary and overwhelming and they’re not able to communicate that properly and no one around them is explaining shit, and they are constantly at the mercy of whether or not the terrifyingly giant adults around them CHOOSE to be kind like genuinely put yourself in the situation of a child and tell me you wouldn’t also be freaking the fuck out.
The way society treats children is borderline inhumane, and you have the audacity to call them hellspawn crotch-goblins for screaming a little bit too loud or daring to be in the same vicinity as you.
I do also believe that hating children is a sign of underlying ableism, because most of the justifications of hating children comes down to “they’re annoying” or “they don’t know how to act” or “they’re gross” and if you are unable to treat people who lack social skills, who make loud or repetitive noises, who are incontinent etc. with basic respect and dignity, then what’s the difference between hating children and hating disabled adults that share the traits you find so irritating?
we've accepted almost every child being abused and forcibly, repeatedly infected with a neurovascular disabling virus (COVID) and now thousands of children are dying every year in the US alone Schools & prisons should burn, the nuclear family abolished, and children liberated from this absolute hell we've created for them as the climate burns around them and nazis continue to massacre children by bullets & pathogens children deserve far better than the vast majority of adults
when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.
we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback
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(getting a taste of my own medicine) actually this is okay. Is this what you guys have bene whining about? Jesus christ
One more for the collection. Book is Stars at Last by Jessica Jocelyn
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
