paperweights

as a kid i thought i would graduate from kid problems like cleaning my room to adult problems like jobs and taxes. but instead i have a job and taxes and still have to clean my room. cleaning my room is a lifetime problem. i will never stop having to put my markers away before bedtime. this is a rude way for aging to work.

OH MY GOD I CAN MAKE THEM DROP DOWN LISTS

“We all are Jaegers inside of which scared children live.”

“Whats UP YOUTUBE! Today we gonna do another Unboxing Video!” *a shovel in hand, I enter the Graveyard*

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

Millineals Are Killing the Vampire Industry

honestly the most unbelievable part of this is where millenials can afford to own homes

the second most unbelievable part of this is millenials answering their front doors for people they didnt know were coming over

what’s it like to be taller than 5’2”??? is it nice? can you comfortabley reach cupboards?

We live in constant fear of the short ones, who (in my experience) will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table, and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want

With smartphones, we’ve gone back to pulling something out of our pocket to check the time.