the problem with me is i cannot differentiate what is & is not my circus and what are & are not my monkeys. this gives you mental health conditions

just did a really good job of cutting a bagel there's no weird thin or thick parts it's all even all over. this is huge for me

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

on a chip??? The world is beautiful!!!

I hate anti-vaxers now. Actively loathe them. There was a time where I had a modicum of empathy and understanding for people being distrustful of the medical establishment, even though every study has shown that vaccines are safe and effective and beneficial, I know some wounds are hard to heal. Now? If you’re seeing the people regurgitating anti-vaccine misinformation and witnessing their agendas, reading the news reports of diseases that were nearly eradicated coming back to kill children again, hearing the distress and fear from medical professionals and parents of immunocompromised children and still saying “Hmm. Fuck you.” and deciding not to vaccinate your children and yourself, there is no excuse for you. You’d like to see me dead. I’m not tiptoeing around you. You’re a horrible person and a terrible parent.

THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.

im a fan of the moment where the husky is like 'wait you're not authorized to do that' and the collie is like 'THE FUCK IM NOT'

just saw a birth announcement thing that was like "3 inches went in. 19 inches came out" and i am on the floor in tears i'm laughing so hard what is wrong with heterosexual people