I don't realize what a privilege it is to have a longtime friend with all their uniqueness and our low maintenance relationship. Di saat manusia ini sedang burnt out karena semua hal, terus kembali ke kota ini after four years and a half leaving this city, and meet all the familiar faces, I feel I need to find and old version of me. And it is fine to be a bit ambisius because it is what it is.
Karena dalam diriku, ada pertarungan untuk hidup slow living dan hidup sedikit ambis (ga banyak). Tapi kata Alysa Liu, "I love struggling", karena mungkin ini menjelaskan ada golongan manusia yang feel alive pas bisa naik gunung. Dipikir ngapain ya capek - capek mendaki, nyari apa sih di puncak gunung? Cuma nemu capek, dingin, duit terkuras, dan mungkin kalau beruntung bisa menemukan teman seperjalanan yang beneran "teman".
And, as a former hiker (yang masih amatir tentu saja), gue mendaki untuk merasa bahwa I am nothing. Bahwa, gue cuma sebagian kecil dari manusia di tengah hamparan bumi ini, di tengah tingginya gunung, luasnya dataran yang dibentangkan Allah, di antara dinginnya hawa gunung, di tengah panasnya terik matahari, di tengah kelaparan, di tengah kelelahan, bahwa we are all just human being. Its actually humbles me. Melatihku jadi manusia penyabar, yang bisa bersyukur dengan seteguk air, semenit dua menit duduk di pinggir jalan berharap di depan ada tulisan posko sekian.
Di salah satu diskusiku sama Jengmay adalah, we as a teacher, feels somehow, we know many thing but also need to feels we know nothing. Yang agak susah kalau kita ngerasa udah paling tahu semuanya, kemudian karena ego setinggi langit akhirnya tidak mau mengakui bahwa kita salah. Bahwa ada orang lain yang lebih baik, yang lebih bijaksana, lebih cerdas, lebih efektif, lebih solutif, atau lebih vision daripada kita.
And me, manifesting to meet someone -hopefully the right one, so please Allah SWT let it be the last one because I need to meet him as soon as possible (if it is possible) because life is actually short for as human beings with lifespan maybe 80 or 70 years. Or, for the other it will be even shorter. Let it be the last and meaningful meeting, to be with each other until our last breath do us apart. Let it be a reunion of two souls that nourishing each other with affection, love, caring, wisdom, humanity. Let us be each other's home. Let us be each other's cloth. Let us be each other's shoulders to cry on, ear to listening all the yapping moment, and our hands hold to give each other strength. Let us be good friend until Jannah. Aamiin.