Currently Lost

In May of 2017, Nicki Minaj offered to pay student loans, college tuition, and text- book fees for dozens of her Twitter followers. After a fan was bold enough to ask if she would pay his tuition instead of awarding him the contest prize for her #RegretInYourTears challenge, Minaj obliged. She also opened the offer to others who could show proof of enrollment and straight A’s, promising to ‘do some more in a month or 2.’ Source Source 2 Source 3

The year is 2012.  It’s Christmas.  It’s the first year my sister and I are both home from college, and we’re feeling kind of nostalgic, so we take out the old family photo albums to remember everyone from times past.  We’re all on the couch or the floor with hot chocolate and the Dog is curled up under the tree.  It’s all very Norman Rockwell.

We’re going through my Mom’s side of the family, laughing at the pictures of Grandma putting wrapping paper on the dog, and grandpa pulling faces at the camera, when we find an old brown envelope.

“The fuck? says my sister, because she’s been in to Great-Aunt Liz’s Rumballs, and I open the envelope.  Inside are four tickets to the titanic, unused, and Mom tells us the story of how her ancestors ALMOST came over on the Titanic, but Great-Aunt Liz got the measles and forced everyone into quarantine, thus saving their lives.

The OTHER thing in the envelope are seven Photographs, dated 1890.  They are of my Great-Great Grandmother.

They are nudes.

They are NOT tasteful nudes.

Like, these are Violating-Terms-Of-Service-On-Most-Platforms- OBSCENE.

GGG had these taken waaaaay back in ye olden days, in order to convince her wayward husband to move back to England after he ditched her to party it up in Chicago.

I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW FUCKING HARD WE LAUGHED.  Like, I think I passed out I was laughing so hard.

Huh.