While there is a general consensus that at least one of the people currently running for President is, in fact, the infamous Zodiac Killer, there is some debate about exactly which individual conducted those heinous crimes. Despite the impressive levels of circumstantial evidence that implicate Bernie Sanders, however, the bulk of the evidence suggests the real killer was actually Texas Senator Ted Cruz.
First, it’s necessary to prove that Ted Cruz had the physical and mental capabilities to perform these heinous murders. This is, admittedly, an obstacle, as his official birth certificate lists Cruz’s birth as being after all murders generally attributed to the Zodiac Killer, and it would be rather challenging for Cruz to conduct murders if he was not yet born.
However, there is a simple explanation: his birth certificate is inaccurate. There has already been significant controversy regarding Canadian documents related to Cruz and his family. Though Cruz’s campaign has consistently claimed that his mother was only a citizen of the United States, recent documents have revealed that both his parents were on a list of eligible voters in Calgary at the time of his birth. The Cruz backstory is fascinating and, at some points, defies belief. It is not much of a stretch to say that the year listed on his birth certificate is also a forgery. Modern software tools can provide the level of forensic analysis that was absent in 1970, to reveal Cruz’s age. Some suggest that Cruz is actually much older than documents state.
Assuming that Cruz is actually 64, he would have been 18 at the time of the murders, giving him the physical and mental ability to have carried them out. Notably, this alternative timeline would also place him as being a freshman in college at the time. Cruz was well-known for his college debate career — yet could murder have been one of his other extracurriculars?
Let’s review the facts of Ted Cruz’s college life. With the demanding schedule of Princeton’s parliamentary debate league, he would have had plenty of weekends and other days with legitimate alibis, as well as breaks and other time off from school, and with his father a noted oilman, he would have had plenty of money to finance trips to California. Cruz likely selected the San Francisco Bay area for its size and distance, a place where a young college student could easily blend in but one far enough away from Princeton that he would never be suspected. This freedom of anonymity allowed Ted to hint at his own name in his taunting letters to local press and police, repeatedly misspelling “cruise” as “cruse”, using a symbol combining a stylized TED (pictured below)
and even inserting his own name into his cryptograms.
Diving deeper into his college days, one adjective that stands out is “creepy.” Four independent witnesses volunteered that adjective for Cruz, describing his habit of lurking outside the women’s bathroom in a paisley bathrobe. Others described him as “intense,” “abrasive,” and a “crank.” His former college roommate has been one of his most strident critics:
Now, just because someone’s creepy doesn’t mean they’re the infamous Zodiac Killer. But 99 percent is a level that’s not just a normal level of creepy - that’s murdered-several-people-in-northern-California-in-the-late-1960s creepy. Ted Cruz’s lust for power has been long-running and well-documented, and the idea that there is something wrong with Ted Cruz’s soul is one that continues to pop up on the campaign trail today.
Now, none of this is definitive proof that Ted Cruz committed a string of murders in Northern California and sent taunting letters to the local press bragging about his exploits. But it does establish that he had the means and opportunity to commit these crimes, and while his motive may be lost to history, the testimony of those close to him at the time suggest that he was morally capable of carrying out such heinous acts. Though this case remains unsolved, it is clear that Ted Cruz should remain the primary suspect.
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