I mean like a book with a bunch of plot holes or a game that's pay to win or wtv

Bucky… 

or you can say it’s Seb in a Bucky costume. 

I want to read this book, I want to watch this movie. I don't need to right now, though. Just sometime. There are 0 copies available and 4 people ahead of me in line. I place a hold anyway. Weeks, maybe months later, I've all but forgotten I placed any request in the first place when suddenly, surprise! Your book is ready! You get to read a book! What a beautiful surprise! Or maybe I didn't forget I had a hold placed, maybe I've been looking forward to this book for weeks, eagerly checking the status in my library portal like a kid waiting to open Christmas presents, and now, finally, it's ready!! It's time!!!

Often I place several holds at once, and sometimes they trickle in steadily, and sometimes they fall on me all at once like a waterfall. I don't want to be selfish by keeping things for too long, so I actually sit down and read these books, too, rather than letting them collect dust unread on the shelf. And I hear about more books or movies that sound interesting, and so I place more holds, and when I come in to the library to pick up the new materials or return old ones, I may as well browse while I'm there, y'know? And so the rhythm of checkout-return continues, this peaceful ebb and flow continually bringing me new stories to enjoy.

If everything were exactly the same except Lorelai was a man people would talk about him like he was the second coming of parenting. I'm not saying Lorelai has no flaws as a parent, obviously she does, but people are so so hard on moms (in fiction and in real life), but if a dad is at all present and nice to their kid he's a saint. It just kind of bugs me what an insane standard people hold Lorelai's parenting to, especially given the circumstances that she was parenting under (being literally 16 years old when she started and only having emotionally abusive parents as examples).

She's imperfect and flawed but she also frequently apologizes for her mistakes and genuinely tries to do better when she realizes she's fucked up. No one is ever going to be a perfect parent, but I think that someone who makes their kid feel loved and safe, and is also willing to admit their faults and try to do better is pretty good all things considered.

Also, even beyond her parenting skills, the fandom tends to exaggerate her flaws to absurd degrees. Don't get me wrong, she is a deeply flawed person. She's often judgemental, she's undeniably self-absorbed, and she can be pretty possessive of the people she loves.

But, from what I've seen, a lot of people seem to believe she's the most selfish person ever while underselling the fact that she's deeply involved in her community, regularly does volunteer work (making costumes for literally every town event, of which there are so so many, organizing the town rummage sale, taking in Kirk, a character I actually can't explain, you just have to watch the show for that one, when he left his mother's house), and is often exceedingly generous towards people who need it. She provides a safe space for her daughter's friends, Lane and Paris, who both have difficult home lives. She also repeatedly makes an active effort to mediate between Lane and Lane's mother and tries so hard to improve their relationship. Hell, she even lets Lane's band rehearse in her garage for like two years rent free. She organizes her neighbor Babette's cat's funeral. She takes over running Luke' diner (Luke is Lorelai's good friend and also her will-they-won't-they, but they're not dating at this point in the show) for days when Luke has to organize his uncle's funeral, all while still going to work at her actual job.

She's also, IMO, very kind to her parents, who are deeply unkind to her. She takes all of their shit (constant insults and putdowns and manipulation) and does most of the emotional labor in that relationship (she's always the one who fixes things and apologizes when they have a fight, even when she's definitely not the one in the wrong), and they never ever reciprocate, let alone acknowledge or appreciate what she's doing. And somehow, so many people see Lorelai as the problem in that relationship??? It's like people believe that Lorelai's parents can't possibly be abusive because they're rich, they're white, and they don't hit her. It's infuriating.

The point is, Lorelai is deeply flawed and no one's going to deny that. But the idea that she's always selfish and mean and never cares for others is genuinely preposterous to me. I don't know how people can possibly justify that take. Misogyny is the only explanation.