Nature and Dicks

whoever has my voodoo doll please put more stuffing in the ass

I don’t like this post

I don’t like this ass

you can deal so much damage by just switching articles. “i’m so hungry, i could eat the horse.” one-hit k.o.

don’t look the gift horse in a mouth

you can also add horses to other idioms, such as, “don’t count your horses before they hatch.” you can do this in any number of ways

If anyone’s having trouble finding Gyarados, it’s the horrific deep-sea worm looking fucker beside Arcanine. I hate it.

my parents just got back from vacation and my mom befriended an octopus????  she scared off a small shark (because you don’t want them near you in the water) and realized the thing it had been circling was a little octopus, which then came over and stayed near her feet for a few minutes.  I’ve never been so jealous in my entire life

she didn’t even realize it was an octopus at first because it was pretending to be a starfish.  i love my new octopus sibling.

I’m glad you’re all so supportive of my newest family member

this is one of the creatures that you imagined running alongside the car when you were a little kid

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying