RESIDENT SNAIL NERD

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

I asked my five year old cousin what he would do if there was a scary skeleton and he said "I would pour water on it and then kick it" and I've been losing my shit laughing crying about a wet skeleton for about fifteen minutes straight

i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are

and not to bring my own clocky bitch ass into this but if cis women weren’t so consistently starved their entire lives you’d see a lot more cis women with the kind of bodies that we currently associate closely with trans women. the amount that the standards of feminine presentation are culturally defined by malnutrition is crazy

inherent gay need to redesign my bedroom every 3 months

Barricade the door

lot of jokes about eridians being like wow humans are so weak they can't even see through walls. but we also forget that eridians don't know what kinds of walls are opaque vs transparent. imagine some eridians are just like excuse us dr. grace, they go into the next room, and have a full blown argument in front of a window. bonus points if the badness of human hearing has been greatly exaggerated so grace can hear every word they're angrily singing.