Overcast Knight

wait you're nonbinary?? are you afab or amab- sorry, transmasc or transfem?? ....oh you're neither?? okay, are you tma (harmless and innocent and 'one of the good ones') or tme (annoying and therefore evil)?? these ones arent gender-based, so they're better- oh you dont like the new boxes we came up with because they still slot you into a gender binary? okay youre an icky evil tme then, because you dont like them. die.

I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)

True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

I can't remember who said it but I saw a comment or tweet talking about hypocrisy that essentially said The Hypocrisy Is The Point. hypocrisy is power. it's the ability to set rules for everyone else except you. and if power is a virtue then hypocrisy is a virtue. it's why you never really get anywhere with "by your logic..." or "then wouldn't that mean...". it's not that they don't realize they're being hypocritical. they do it on purpose to prove that you have to listen to them and they don't have to listen to you

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.

Ok the last one got me laughing actually

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

"The writers aren't that clever" becoming too prevalent for my liking. You can just infer that the curtains were blue to reflect the character's sadness and someone will go "Mmm, no, the writers aren't that smart. You're giving them too much credit here," That was not a 1000IQ take, that's something they taught you in the 3rd grade!

I love it when someone's therian for a fictional animal

a guy just made that up and you get to be them? truly the world is full of wonderful experiences. sometimes those experiences are being a dragon, which owns