It's always fall on Maple Street

the sad truth: the average kite is at least five times smaller in 2015 than it was in 1990. how are children supposed to enjoy the whimsical fun of watching these simple flying apparatuses fight and dance with the wind when modern kites are just so damn tiny? 

The Case of Lovey Banh.

Lovey Banh is a figure I became completely transfixed by during a period of really unstable emotional health. She has mild notoriety as an amazon oddity author for her irreverent book titles (“An Ant See A Lion Marry A Butterfly: I Am Sleeping In My Car B/C I Am Not The Next RJ Rowling”, “30 Years I Do Not Brush My Teeth”, “One Kid Two Lungs To Harvest”), book covers prominently featuring what is presumably the author in swimwear, book pricing (most sitting at around $2,000), and the incomparable sum of books written and available to purchase: currently equaling 265. It is important to note for later that all of Lovey Banh’s books were published within a small time frame in 2014.  

When I first came across her on amazon I thought it all collectively was a sophisticated bot operation of some sort due to the reoccurring phrases (Obama, cops, ants, her wishes to build hospitals, her wishes to become a TV host, Idris Elba, Tiger Woods, etc) and constant pull for the reader’s donations. It seemed sketchy, like Russian guys trying to pull a fast one, reeling out generated text, and stealing a woman’s photos in the process. It’s all very easy to quickly dismiss as funny and weird and move on from. But upon closer inspection and some pouring through of “look inside” offerings of her books, there was something namelessly too human and that connected too much within itself to convince me there wasn’t intelligence behind the books. In the fragile mental place I was in, some of her words became very real to me.

I was determined to uncover the truth of the matter behind Lovey Banh’s identity. Being the kind of person I am, determination coupled with instability quickly became obsession. To start this quest, I tried calling every number she had listed in her books, which is many, I believe 10, all with California area codes. This is when I began to notice California seemed to be Lovey’s port of local. Nevertheless, all were disconnected. I tried emailing her. No response. I tried going to various websites she would mention like cleanwaterandfeedthepoor.com and 30hospital.com, all down. Though I did find out that at one point the IP for cleanwaterandfeedthepoor.com was registered on 05/04/2014. Which matches up with the dates of publication of all Lovey’s books. All of Lovey’s activity on her Youtube (two videos advertising her books) match up with these dates as well. As well as on her Twitter. Looking for 30hospitals.com, I was lead to her Facebook page which goes under the name “Vivian Banh” or “loveybanhsinger” (this didn’t shock me as she had mentioned in many of her books she could sing in six languages), her Facebook is full of more pictures of her as well as garbage, which appear on some of her book covers. All starting and ending in 2014.

This struck me as odd. Everything connected to any of Lovey Banh’s social media accounts ending distinctly in August/ September of 2014. Being as deep into the case of Lovey Banh as I was, I decided to look up Vivian Banh. As it was on her Facebook name. This is when the case of Lovey Banh stopped being that of mysterious irreverent ramblings, and started becoming something very different.  

I stumbled upon this public record court document, stating that in 2014 Vivian Banh had been found guilty of second degree robbery in the state of California. I pieced that it was her due to the name, it being in the document that she required a Vietnamese translator, her line of occupation as a masseuse matching up with some of her writings, and that she attempted to plead not being mentally fit during the time of the case. With the legal name “Vivian Tu Banh” and her location to go off of, I found something even more.

On October 8, 2014, Vivian Tu Banh made a bomb threat to a passenger on a Houston-to-Miami flight at the Louis Armstrong internerational airport. She was taken off, detained, taken into custody and questioned, but not arrested while she went under psychiatric evaluation. This was a widely reported incident at that, with the likes of Reuters even covering it. I don’t think anyone made the connection it was Lovey Banh.

After that incident, the only record I can find of Banh again is being arrested in orange county on january 21, 2015. This was the first time I had seen record of her birthday 11/15/82. It would appear she is still in jail. Her bail was set at 150,000.

After finding all this, I went back to read what I could of Lovey Banh’s books more closely. Suddenly none of it was incoherent, she was very straightforward about what she needed. What she was trying to do.

Lovey, or Vivian Banh, needed help. She was trying to use the books as a way to seek help. Legal aid she probably did not have available to her. The books were a completely earnest and sincere cry for help. The money she was trying to raise made sense now. She needed money for legal fees. She needed a lawyer. She was in trouble, cut off from her family, and at a loss. It all made sense. She used photographs of herself and attention grabbing titles to command interest, which she succeded at. That’s why she gave out all her phone numbers. That’s why she was mad at Obama, prisons, the legal system. Like, none of this was nonsense.

She was actually, when you take the time to comb through the contents of her books applied with context, very articulate and justifiably angry.

Earth was doing just fine with a mostly nitrogen/carbon dioxide atmosphere and everyone was happy to go on living in anaerobic bliss and then cyanobacteria suddenly hit the scene, altered the atmosphere composition so that there was a ton of oxygen gas and killed practically everything (97% or more of all species on earth).