corporeal wherewithal.

[ID: First image is a drawing of Mavis, a dwarven girl, Mookie, a dwarven boy, and Angus, a human boy. They are all dressed in jack’o lantern style costumes. Mavis is wearing a pumpkin beret and pumpkin dress. Mookie is wearing a large, puffy pumpkin suit, and Angus is wearing a pumpkin cap and puffy orange vest with orange shorts. They are all also carrying trick or treat bags. Second image is of Magnus, a large human man, leaping out of a moonlit pumpkin patch and frightening the three children. He is dressed in a dark red track suit with a white hockey mask, wielding a sharp axe and yelling, “MAGNUS” out loud. The three children scream in fear. End ID]

Happy belated borthday for @tazdelightful! It has bebby goats, as promised!

[ID: First image is a flat colored drawing of Taako and Kravitz. Taako is an elven man with tan, freckled skin and blonde hair up in a bun. Kravitz is a half elven man with dark skin and long dreaded hair that is loosely pulled back. They are both wearing black t-shirts. Taako’s shirt reads “I’m he’s” while Kravitz’s shirt reads, “He’m I’s.” Taako is grinning while Kravitz looks mildly confused. The second image is a doodle of the pair, holding hands. Taako looks very pleased with himself while Kravitz looks peacefully resigned to the situation. End ID]

The Hunger

This took way longer than I thought it would, but it was still fun :)

when in doubt draw baby twins

taakitz wedding lives in my head rent free

bonus:

The bonus is a series of black and white sketches. The first shows Taako and Kravitz wearing their wedding attire. The top of Merle’s head is just visible at the bottom of the frame as he stands behind them. Taako holds a hand out in front of him, and Kravitz holds it and puts a ring on his finger.

Then, Taako turns to look out at the viewer, holding up his hand and pointing to the ring with a shocked expression as Kravitz looks on, smiling. The comic cuts to Barry and Lup, sitting in the audience in formal attire. Tears are streaming down Lup’s face and she has both of her hands on her chest. Barry, sitting beside her, looks at her with a soft, fond smile.

Griffin: [as Jenkins] A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, Jenkins. Justin: [snickering]

G: Are you naming your goddamn wizard Taako?

G: Oh- shit. Oh, god, oh, god, where’d it go, oh no, no, no!

G: If possible, I would love to- to avoid a shitting-based solution? Uh, A, because I don’t want to know what exists beyond the explicit tag in iTunes? [Justin laughs] I don’t- like, is there a fucking NC-17 rating? I don’t wanna- I don’t think I wanna be a part of that. But also- Justin: [crosstalk] Hey! G: I would also not like this scene to drag on out as long as- as a human being’s digestive cycle.

G: [background laughter] Fun show, fun show games!

G: And I think I just described a plant orgasm. And this has been Fifty Shades of Green [Clint laughs], starring four idiots.

G: So the end of that sentence that you cut off was- and I- so I won’t be able to put up with any shit today, but the problem is I already have? Now people will stop tweeting about me that I said one of Barry’s favorite things is swimming in a cold lake on a hot day, and then in two episodes later say he didn’t know how to swim.

G: ‘Kay, you and the box both drink POISON! And you survive, but the box has died. Clint: That means it’s open, right? G: Yes, with that the box pops open and it has 900 gold pieces inside. Everyone: Yeah! [cheering]

Travis: I get it. Justin: Damn, that’s a good door! G: No, it’s- [yelling] let me finish describing what happened to the door! I’ve been trying to tell you what happened to the door for like ten minutes!

Travis: I tap it with the Glutton’s Fork and I swallow it. Justin: [muffled wheezing] Griffin: What the fuck!

Griffin: [laugh-crying] You’re gonna turn him into a man tube? [wheezing] You- you’re gonna turn him into a bag or a shelf with the rock sitting on it-

Griffin, loudly: What the fuck?! [audience laughter] Travis: Double damage is- 4 and 3 plus 4 and 1. Griffin: I didn’t give Marvey HP!

Griffin: Is the stapler in here? Anyone want the fucking stapler?

Griffin: Oh, Jesus, you love this shit! [Travis, crosstalk: I’m sorry-] It’s your- You’re a fucking pervert! Fetish- you’re exposing everybody to your fetishes! Travis: I’m so sorry!

Griffin: Uh- it is an uneventful climb to the twentieth floor. And, uh- as- Travis: Floor twenty! Griffin: as- as- What? Justin and Travis: [snickering] Floor twenty! Griffin: [pause] We’re not gonna say anything better than that- Travis: Griffin, we have to fight some weeds at floor twenty. Griffin: We have thirty minutes to go, and we’re not gonna say anything better than that. Did you even think about that?

Justin: I grow bored with this fight. [laughter] Griffin: Okay. [crosstalk] Justin: I’m- I’m casting polymorph on myself- Griffin: Oh, fucking- wow. Justin: Griffin, I’m texting you- [Griffin: oh]because you’re going to need this information. Griffin: Oh my god, Justin. Justin: Yes. [Wonderland music starts] Griffin: Taako’s arms sink into his chest, so that he’s just got, sort of, little arms, and his head gets really big, and really long, [Clint laughs] and his teeth get very sharp, and he grows a tail, and he turns into a tyrannosaurus rex.

Griffin: [yelling] Oh, NO! Are you keeping track of how many times you rolled as well? Clint: [crosstalk] To be honest the educational system in Huntington, West Virginia sucks- Travis: Twenty-five! Twenty-five! Four, four! Twenty-five! Twenty-seven! [overlapped with Justin] Griffin: it’s dead- STOP! Stop! You’re killing him! Travis and Justin: Thirty! Thirty-six! Griffin: Stop! He’s already dead! Travis: One more, one more, one more- [Clint: C'MON!] Travis and Justin: Thirty-seven! [A pause as the audience laughs] Travis: His parents feel it! Griffin: You fucking- you fucking- this turtle’s- this turtle’s parents- Travis: [crosstalk] Is that where the turtle’s brother dies? Griffin: -forget about him. This turtle was a successful turtle author, and the words on his books fucking vanish. [audience laughter] You have erased this turtle from existence.

Travis: But my butt- Griffin: [yelling] Come on, I’m in hell! [crosstalk] I’m dead and in hell now! You opened the door! You built the fucking door! Out of wood! Shitwood! Shame on you and shame on us!

Justin, as Taako: Garfield? Griffin, as Garfield: Yes? Justin: I have something I think is really going to interest you. Griffin: [yelling out of character] OH MY GOD! Justin: This is the Slicer of T'pire Weir Isles [background laughter] and I notice that you have a really cool sword. It’s a Flaming, Poisoning, Raging Sword of Doom, I believe it’s called. Griffin: Oh my god… Justin: And- I’m looking at your entire stock and it does seem to me that’s your most valuable posession, would you say that’s accurate? Griffin: [laughter, as Garfield] Yes, it’s absolutely the most valuable thing in the store!

She stole his glasses just like his kiss

Duck: Sure.