so fun fact i have so many words to say

the absolute BEST rival dynamic is where one of them is like “you are my equal unlike any other, you respect me and my power even if you disagree with my methods, i will only die by your hand and you by mine, perhaps i want your attention perhaps i love you, together we challenge each other to unseen heights, we are each other’s destiny, we are intrinsically linked,” and the other person is genuinely like “please die”

Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮

david tennant really does own the word "well" he's always out there saying "well" no one else says "WELL..." quite like he can

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

i accidentally tripped over a gas line while trying to clean behind the stove and made a loud fear noise and the kid helping me clean the kitchen goes "dude your screams scare me. They remind me of when i accidentally step on my dog's tail"

one of them has never heard of vampires

update about this one because another coworker wouldnt let it go: he insists he's Heard of them but thought they were, quote, "like, really big bats"

@idyllic-affections I DUNNO IF U HAVE SEEN BUT..... look at the Sillies.

reblog this and put in the tags at least two (2) songs you are listening to on repeat right now

i say it all the time but i love seeing people draw old men when their style is obviously "20 year old skinny people" its great

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous