i may be something

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

sleeping on the floor is making a comeback after i was in the woods for 12 hours and fell asleep on my doormat after getting home.

maybe it shouldn't. I woke up convinced there was a portal opening to the rat dimension next to me but it was my headlamp

you need to go back to the rat dimension they need your help

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

People always get so weird about my participation in the Flat Earth Advocacy Group. For the last time, we aren't cranks, we aren't conspiracy theorists, we're definitely not geocentrists, and our policy think tank is fully aware of what shape the planet currently is

sometimes…….things that are fanon………are worse

Like imagine if someone brought you something weird but understandable contained in a material that they said was made out of wood and you could tell that it’s clearly made out of wood they’re not lying about that but it was also completely transparent and see through with no visible flaws. That’s about the level of weird we’re talking about here.

What the fuck I feel like a medieval peasant seeing an iPhone

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tired of cannibalism as a metaphor for love or sex. can we get into cannibalism as a metaphor for colonization.