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What it’s like to be slut-shamed when buying birth control

If an employee in a pharmacy makes a snide comment - Front store workers, pharmacists, or Pharmacy Techs give you shit? Gently (Or not so gently) remind them that the waiver they signed upon being hired legally binds them from commenting on your purchase, as it is a violation of privacy laws. Doing so is grounds for INSTANT termination and hefty fines.

Pharmacy workers (white coats) are legally obligated to ASK if you need an explanation of how medication works and any side effects, any medication conflicts etc. If you decline, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED AT ALL TO MAKE SNIDE REMARKS OR FARTHER COMMENT ON YOUR PURCHASE. FRONT STORE EMPLOYEES CAN NOT AT ALL COMMENT IN ANY WAY, IN ANY STORE WITH A PHARMACY IN IT.

Know your rights. If this shit happens? Call them the fuck out and ask to speak to a manager. Get worked up. Cause a scene. Threaten a Lawsuit. If you see this happening to someone else, and they seem to be struggling, speak up for them. 

Essie Davis officially launches Planning Matters Alliance Tasmania

You may remember back in July when we posted about Essie’s vocal opposition towards the construction of high rise buildings and hotels that would be detrimental to the historical and natural charms and beauty in her hometown of Hobart, Tasmania. Around that time, she helped launch PMAT - a campaign that would fight for Hobart- with this passionate, funny, and inspiring speech. 

These seem to be doing the rounds again (08-Aug-2017) so I’ve added Nos 7 & 8 to complete the set. 

(I want to openly acknowledge that some of what I wrote here is built upon the episode recaps of S3 by @jeneep. What wonderful insight you have! You are also a fantastic writer!)

There were a lot of fandom FEELINGS when Henry Fisher showed up at the beginning of series 3 and “slowed progress” in Jack and Phryne’s budding relationship.  

Trust me, I was aggravated as well. But as I was reading some of the recaps a few things started to come to the surface about what could be seen as an advantage of Henry Fisher’s presence at this particular relationship juncture for Jack and Phryne. 

There is no doubt that Phryne knows that she is falling for Jack and she wants to give this a go. However I don’t believe for a second she has any idea how to proceed. I think she is open but also knowing Phryne and her level of confidence in herself, it is possible to believe she will default to what she knows. (And she actually does a little later.) Jack as well.  

I think had Henry Fisher not shown up, Jack and Phryne would have, at the very least, moved the physical relationship further without really addressing the underlining issues until things came to a head.  And then it might have been too late… and too damaging.

(What exactly is nerve tonic, btw?) Henry’s presence however and the way Miss Fisher handles it so sketchy from the start seems to cause Jack to proceed with a different kind of caution. At the end of the episode he seems warily fascinated by the father/daughter dynamic and his acquaintance with Phryne’s father seems to be a bit of a puzzle piece that further explains Phryne’s beliefs and lifestyle.

Jack has seen Phryne with a lot of “old friends"… But here he is seeing her interact with her first significant male relationship. He’s learning things about Phryne that he didn’t quite know. She is further exposed to Jack and she can’t stop it from happening! 

Naturally, Phryne is not afraid of exposure. She is naked all the time! However, she likes to be the one to expose the particular details of her life. Understandably. Her father is a particular detail. Bleh.  

Cut to the very next episode and despite the fact that Phryne had seem to give Jack the "go sign” to pursue her–and the fact that she hasn’t taken a lover in some time–in walks Compton and before long she is “reminiscing”.

This isn’t a coincidence. She does it practically out of spite and possibly fear of losing herself when Jack shows signs of challenging her loyalty and marking his territory.  (it’s all her territory after all!) What a mess.

Let me stop here and say–I don’t believe that Phryne’s liberal sexual pursuits are an indication or a result of “damage”. I believe the way she lives her life is based on her independence, her strength, confidence in herself and getting what she wants. (And let’s be honest–her current position of privilege)  It’s also based on a very strong feminist world view.  

I do believe however, that one of the reasons she is strong, independent, fierce and an avid feminist is built upon some of the negative interactions she has had with that first significant male relationship (among others-namely René ). She put as much distance as she could between herself and her father until very recently when he appeared on her doorstep.

Has the pursuit of a possible monogamous relationship conjured a ghost?

Her father was a drunk. A gambler. A con artist. Secretive. Unreliable. He took from the family anything of value to fund his own vices. He disrespected his wife and his daughters. Did she know other men who were different? Probably. But they were not men whom she was meant to rely upon. In fact, throughout what we know of her story in the TV series, there aren’t any men she truly relied upon. There are….

Men who are lovers, men who are employees and men who are friends in need.

Cec and Burt are trustworthy and like family but they are employed by her. She cares about them for sure but she’s in the power position. Mr. Butler adores her - he gets paid too. Hugh is…a puppy. 

She doesn’t rely on her lovers, in fact she is typically the one who is rescuing them.

Again, she is in the position of strength. (it’s pretty awesome).  Bart, Samson, Charles, Raymond–all platonic friends in need. 

Her relationship with Jack however has no historical parallel for her that we know of.

There is haggling with Jack but never payment.  There is need and protection and information from both sides. There is always an even exchange. 

Even when she feeds him it’s food for two.  They drink TOGETHER.

They play a lot. And they are competitive with each other while still being on the same side.

It’s egalitarian at its best even when she’s batting her eyelashes and flirting. They are honest with the good and the bad. They both have issues and the other one knows about them. They argue–sometimes for the purpose of understanding, sometimes just to win.

(The fact that he is a man she is attracted to but has not yet slept with is a whole other fascinating analyzation and I’ll let someone else do it.  [Someone do it].)

She tries to have a similar sparring with Compton when he comes back into her life for a hot second but then realizes he’s not been forth coming. He isn’t a partner. Her relationship with Jack is…

Unusual for her and the time period.

It is something other.  It’s a relationship of the future, really.  What does one do when one actually discovers something they were sure did not exist? They may flounder a bit. 

It’s a time period when women married and went from their father’s house to their husbands house. This hasn’t happened with Phryne and it’s never going to. She has her own damn house.  

I doubt she would’ve even been opened to marriage even if Henry Fisher had been a really great father and husband. Yet there is that possibility that having such a crappy dad could have factored into her never really having a man as her partner up until now.  (let’s not even mention René. Bad all around.)

Back to Henry… Jack is taking notes on Phryne and her Pops. Watch his face anytime Phryne tells him a story relating to her dad. As @jeneep points out, Phryne loves her father. Even though he is an ass. Jack sees this too. And he’s there for her with regard to Henry. But Jack uses this to his advantage and becomes calculating and I love it! Every Henry-ism is countered with a Jack-ism. (Does that sound dirty… Wasn’t supposed to.)

Henry stole Phryne’s  swallow brooch to buy beer. Jack “finds” a swallow brooch to give to Phryne - a return of “lost property” he calls it. 

Henry manipulates the system at The Grand to waltz with Phryne’s mother years ago. Jack asks Phryne–straight up–for the privilege of a waltz at the Grand THEN expresses a gratefulness that she even exists. Somehow redeeming her father’s past actions and mother’s foolishness in falling for it all.    

Phryne is concerned with old memories that her father murdered someone because he has done a lot of really rotten things… Jack finds the defining answer to Phryne’s questions. Jack exonerates her father for HER. 

Henry’s “resourcefulness” (as Jack so kindly puts it) reeks havoc! and brings Phryne a lot of angst and embarrassment. Jack builds her back up and points out that THAT resourcefulness–like her own–with the proper motive is a thing he appreciates and relies upon from her.  She knows she shares some of her father’s qualities… but Jack reminds her she is not her father….but Neither is Jack.  

He once told Phryne regarding her sister’s abduction that he “dismissed the charges”. Jack is an officer of the law as Phryne told her father when she introduced him. He is also a good person–someone you would want to think well of you. And Jack thinks well of Phryne. 

Phryne’s father has a dubious past and present - Jack seems to very easily dismiss any charges with relation to Phryne’s connection to him. Jack is OFTEN dismissing the charges if you think about it.

  It’s why she trusts him.

Phryne has never truly been on the receiving end of Jack’s Judgement and feels safe to complain; express fear, exasperation and genuine concern to him. She lets him see more of the embarrassing dysfunction of her family and more of her wounds which is what we all have to do before we invite someone to truly be a member by way of a serious relationship. And it is serious. The fact that Henry is even in the final scene with Jack and Phryne kissing passionately is very telling as to where these two have navigated just in the last 8 episodes (only eight!) As @jeneep astutely points out, he’s shouting and they are completely ignoring him!

Remember my first post, Shy Person’s Guide to Calling Your Representatives? Well, now that you’ve had a chance to practice (and perhaps to recuperate), this week’s action involves some important phone calls. Confirmation hearings have begun for the president-elect’s proposed cabinet, the richest and least educated cabinet in history. The action for this week is to call your Senators to oppose these nominees.

* First, take a moment to read up on the proposed cabinet members. Form your own opinions about who you oppose to help you target your calls.

* This is a useful (if clunky) guide to the hearings, the committee overseeing the process, and the Senators who are members of that committee. Here’s how I suggest using it:

Step 1: Go through each nominee that you oppose and see if one of your Senators serves on the committee that will be considering them.

Step 2: Using the proposed script as a starting point, as well as your initial research, create a call script you feel comfortable with.

Step 3: Prioritizing nominees with the earliest hearing times, use your script to call your Senator and oppose their confirmation.

* Members of Congress are pretty much exclusively interested in phone calls from constituents, so unless you are willing to lie about being a constituent (and provide a zip code to prove it), target your calls to your own Senators.

* If your Senator is not on the relevant committee, you can still call them to let them know you are concerned and how you’d like them to vote once the nomination gets to the floor. Be sure to thank your Senator if they are standing in opposition to the nominees.

Science-Backed Study Tips to Ace Your Exam (+ Free Checklist!)

As we are getting closer to the final season, a lot of us would frantically search for exam study tips and skills to help us better prepare for finals. I have previously covered quite a lot on how to prepare for exams (and I have also got a free email course on how to study for exams effectively. Sign up if you haven’t already), but there is always more tips to add on it! Now, here I am to talk about the following things (with science-backed tips!) that would help you to ace your exam!

The attitude that you should have for exams (and studying)

How you can best prepare and study on the day before the exam (and why you shouldn’t pull an all-nighter)

What you should do the morning of the exam

Download the Printable Here!

It’s not. Within my lifetime, a president laughed at hundreds of thousands of people dying of AIDS. Within my lifetime, that was a death sentence, not a footnote on a Grindr profile. Within my lifetime, “transsexuals” only existed as cruel punchlines. The only trans guy I had even heard of at 19 was from a movie about him being murdered. Ellen was a pariah who had lost her show for coming out. Being gay was career suicide if you were anything but a hairdresser. It was automatic dishonorable discharge from the military.

This is not saying Trump couldn’t undo a lot of that. But not all of it. And even if, EVEN IF he did? Queer people survived. Flourished. Got to where it is now. And where it is now includes a younger generation who will not go back, and in another 20 years, will be the CEOs, the senators, the governors, the president.

If you don’t give up.

THINGS A PRESIDENT CANNOT DO:

Reverse any Supreme Court decision 

This includes Obergefell v. Hodges, which made same-sex marriage a constitutional right; Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt, which reaffirmed a woman’s right to choose first articulated in Roe v. Wade, another Supreme Court case. Grutter v. Bollinger, which instituted affirmative action, the entire body of Civil Rights case law, plus anything related to due process, including the right of minors to due process, your right to an attorney, Miranda rights, inadmissible evidence, etc.

(Even if Trump appoints the worst possible SC nominee, they still can’t reverse any of these decisions without a really significant case coming before the Court with new facts, and then they have to write an opinion stating how this case is different than that other case…it’s unlikely to happen.)

Write law or repeal any existing law

While traditionally, presidents have exerted influence on the legislative agenda (see, Obama’s role in advancing and promoting the Affordable Care Act) they cannot actually write or pass legislation. Bills, joint resolutions, concurrent resolutions, and simple resolutions must be introduced in the House by a Representative.

Presidents cannot strike down law. Only Congress can repeal laws, and only the Supreme Court can strike them down as unconstitutional.

Presidential influence is just that—influence.

(And if—for example—you are hated by 95% of the party you joined last week, and burned all your goddamn bridges by insulting them at various points in your campaign…..they’re unlikely to partner with you in crafting legislation.)

Make any law or declaration that infringes in any way on the rights of the states

So in the US, most of the rights are reserved to the states. You name it, it’s a state-run power. Criminal procedure and law? States. Medicare and Medicaid? States. The definition of marriage? States. Insurance, health departments, housing, unemployment benefits, public education, all these are state programs. And the president cannot infringe on those powers given to the states.

(This is why down-ticket voting is so important, because Mike Pence as governor of Indiana had 800x the power he’s going to have as VP.)

Declare war.

This one is the most complicated, because with the advent of our “conflicts” in Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, etc. there has been a significant shift in the articulation of the war doctrine, and it is one of the least restricted of the president’s “restricted” powers. But, despite all that, a president still has no power to declare war.

Unilaterally appoint heads of administrative departments

Unilaterally make treaties with foreign nations

New North American MFMM fandom map! Organized and colorful! Apologies to @solidink who told me their location a ton of times and I managed to miss it every time! 

Updated (3.9.16) w/ @skirtswithpocketsplease and @countessripper (OMG I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS LAST WEEK I’M SO SORRY)

As always, if I missed you or misspelled your name let me know!