man with loophole fetish facing criminal charges gets off on a technicality

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man with loophole fetish facing criminal charges gets off on a technicality

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so many ppl on tiktok will be like ‘look at my epic style glow up omg my style used to be so cringe’ and it just shows them wearing clothes that were in fashion in 2015 and then clothes that are in fashion now like baby that’s what happens when u don’t have ur own sense of style
got called “omg vintage” by a secretary in training at the dentist’s office on sunday because i wore a shirt that was in style five years ago like. ma’am i bought that in 2016
this is WILD you can’t just leave this in the tags lmaoo
(cw: adult story below)
okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD.
so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.
so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something
also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao
and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.
and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways
the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”
so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!
and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.”
and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID
also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny
What was this post about again??
Fashion I believe.
"My son has been brutally killed and I seek revenge," said the Queen. "You have my sword." proclaimed the Hero. "And my bow," added the Archer. "And my magic," intoned the Mage. "And my gun," quipped the Ranger. "AND MY AXE!" exclaimed the Warrior. "And your son!" replied the Necromancer.
There's this priest at an old country church, and he's getting really old and can't ring the church bells himself anymore. So, one day he puts up a sign saying that he's hiring a bellringer for the church. He waits all day and no one shows up. Finally, at the very end of the day, one guy comes by and says he wants the job, but the guy has no arms. The priest says that he's not sure the guy is the right fit for the job but he insists. He has the priest let him go up to the bell tower so he can show him.
Once they're up there, the guy does a very startling thing. He starts running back and forth and hitting the bells with his face. Very soon he has all the bells ringing and making beautiful music. Unfortunately, as he's running around, he misses one of the bells and falls right out the window of the tower.
The priest runs downstairs and outside to find that people are already gathered around the body looking at the poor, dead man.
"Who was he?" one of the villagers asks.
The priest shakes his head. "I don't know who he is, but his face rings a bell."
My self-pubbed novella WHEN THE IRIS IS PINK: A DYSTOPIAN STORY is $2.99 everywhere right now.
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Click here if you're interested!

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CRAB CRAB CRAB
This was my first time working with leather because I got a burning desire for a bag shaped like a horseshoe crab. It has two zippered compartments, and an adjustable strap so it can be worn at my side as a cross-body bag or on my back more like a backpack.
Kill it
Oh, it's a purse
CRAB CRAB CRAB
This was my first time working with leather because I got a burning desire for a bag shaped like a horseshoe crab. It has two zippered compartments, and an adjustable strap so it can be worn at my side as a cross-body bag or on my back more like a backpack.
Kill it
People who try to copy historical writing styles don't say enough weird stuff in them. I'm listening to a 1909 story about a ghost car right now, and the narrator just said he honked the car horn a bunch of times, but the way he phrased it was "I wrought a wild concerto on the hooter".
we kill the bat man
look all i'm saying is if you've ever seen someone be healed with magic, congratulations! you've witnessed a practitioner of necromancy. it's the exact same thing. all you're doing at a fundamental level is using magic to accelerate existing biological processes and animate tissue, the only difference is when you do it to dead tissue instead of living tissue, suddenly it's evil scary ~dark magic~ instead of good wholesome healing. it's purely cultural bias.
so no i don't think it's fair to say i "lied on my application" since i'm just as qualified as anyone to heal your party, but hey if you want to be a fucking narc and report me to the wizard council go right ahead. good luck finding an accredited healer at the wages you're offering by the way

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a list of 100+ buildings to put in your fantasy town
academy
adventurer's guild
alchemist
apiary
apothecary
aquarium
armory
art gallery
bakery
bank
barber
barracks
bathhouse
blacksmith
boathouse
book store
bookbinder
botanical garden
brothel
butcher
carpenter
cartographer
casino
castle
cobbler
coffee shop
council chamber
court house
crypt for the noble family
Indie horror author here!
My short story Marley's Melancholia is available on Amazon right now for free! (You can get it by clicking this link)
It's also on Apple, Kobo, Smashwords, and Everand--same price, FREE (You can get to those sites by clicking here)
P.S. If you like it, be sure to sign up for my substack newsletter (click here). I make every one of my books free for the first 5 days, and thats where I announce them. Or, if any of my books I've got published now cost money, but you don't wanna pay, just DM me or something, and I can send you a PDF or an EPUB file ASAP. More than anything, I just want readers and feedback, if I can get them!
Thanks! :)
osha compliant blowjob
osha compliant blowjob
being a kid before wikipedia and smartphones meant these books were the coolest things you’d ever seen

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