Harmless, An Absolute C Section

bro i hate to tell you this but your girl just teleported to my castle in wizard101

Trying to do a good job as status quo restabilizer monarch when your three advisors are your uncle who groomed you who is your husband saying “BURN EVERYONE WE WILL INVADE DORNE AND ESSOS AND YI TI AND CROWN A NEW EMPIRE OF THE DAWN WE SHALL RULE AS GODS anyways I’m leaving see you never, your girlfriend who is your uncle’s ex girlfriend whispering about how the most important factor in maintaining monarchical power is of course just consent of the peasantry you are governing you ought to alienate yourself from your minor nobility completely and permanently to appease the people, and your middle school girlfriend you are repulsed by the thought of displeasing going you have to do shit that makes me mad to rule effectively but I will be mad. and also you have no fuckingggg money

period cramps gender dysphoria on the iron throne was so on the nose but it was good so i dont even care. what if your body physically recoiled at the seat you've placed it upon. what if the literal site where your body touches the throne is soaked in blood. what if you wanted to bring the symbolic phallic sword. what if you didnt because its not who you are. what if you started bleeding the moment you put it aside. how romantic it must be to be locked away in a castle and made to squeeze out heirs. how romantic it must be to be locked away in a castle and finally sit on the iron throne! what if it was uncomfortable. what if you werent made for this because no one is made for this. what if your womb was a grave. what if it was reminding you right now. what if the thing that you have resented as your defining feature your entire life decided to torture you during the moment you've waited your entire life for. your father bled on this throne too when he pricked his fingers on its sharp edges. is that blood any different? your two eldest sons are dead would you like a bodily reminder that you can have more targaryen heirs? isn't that what its all about? more targaryen heirs? more and more and more targaryen heirs? dont you want to give birth again dont you want to live in this castle and squeeze out more targaryen heirs? dont you wish you were your father your uncle your half-brother dont you wish you were literally anyone else. do you think you would have started bleeding if you just brought the sword. do you think you would have started bleeding if you were just someone else. dont forget your father bled too

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

senior/elderly nonbinary people. I adore you and you make the world a better place. whether you've known for multiple decades or you just found out last year. thank you for just Being. so much love from me.

project hail mary is a touching and poignant film that leaves you asking questions about humanity like, "wow what if all mainstream media was genuinely good" and "what if book adaptions actually gave a shit about the book in question" and "what if studios hired actors that could actually act, and then let them get a lil wacky with it"

#Don’t forget ‘what if puppetry was treated as a serious artform’ (via @specialagentartemis)

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs