Things that make you go 'Wait, what?'

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

The Addams

I may in fact be stupid

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

"how did you get into writing" girl i've been tormented by the visions since i was eight years old

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

smalltalk is important. smalltalk is one of the "social glues" that hold communities together. smalltalk is a ritual of signaling to other people that you are safe to talk to. now think for a minute about being a person who is completely unable to engage in an activity that holds communities together or signals to other people that they are safe to talk to. think about how that would limit that person's ability to engage safely with their community, limit the support they get from others, lead to pervasive loneliness and isolation. think for a minute about the resentment that would build up from that type of isolation.

this is not just about fully verbal autistic people. this is also about people who are entirely unable to speak, or people whose speech is "different" in some way that prevents smalltalk. this is about selectively mute people, and people who use AAC for whatever reason, and people with disorganized speech and anybody for whom "just learn these rules of smalltalk by rote" doesn't work.

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

i want this man in my inventory

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."