Aro (arrow), they/she/he, in my 20s // art, history, miscellaneous
fandoms, worldbuilding, and possibly rambling thoughts //
I've been getting tumblr screenshots on pintrest
for years and finally caved
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Can we please talk about how the most criminally underrated comedic aspect of the legendarium is the length of Elros’ kingship. Like bro caused the funniest succession crisis known to mankind when he died because his son, who was almost 400, abdicated on the spot because he was too old and passed the kingship to his own son right.
Which implies that abdication due to age was absolutely a possibility. An option, in fact. One which Elros clearly didn’t take up. Why? Because in my book, motherfucker was having way too much fun. Bro watched his son start to hobble around the place and was like ‘yeah but I like fucking and dining and wining and hunting, I’m keeping the crown, sucks to be you, major loser’. He gives me young Robert Baratheon vibes right. I know my beloved himbo was drinking to excess every night and streaking nude through the courtyards with his hunting buddies while Elrond learned to play depressing tunes on the harp and pulp herbs or whatever the fuck he was doing back in Middle Earth. I know Elros laughed like 20 times a day. I know you could hear him from four streets away. I know he had like 30 illegitimate children because his wife probably didn’t live even half as long as him. At least 30. I know his sneeze was audible from the moon.
Anyway just imagine being Vardamir and being like ‘dad is it my turn for the crown now?’ every fifty years and your dad just lifting a finger and going ‘no 😇☝🏻’. And you have to tell yourself not to take offence at this because your dad grew up in like the worst time to grow up ever and had the most traumatic childhood and was practically orphaned by six. Like of course he wants to spend his dying days drinking and dancing right. Unfortunately his dying days last 400 years long. I tell you this, in my mind, the only reason why the Númenoreans canonically have a tradition of abdicating a few years before their death is because final-stage Elros went down in history as the most irritating monarch to exist.
Because even though his children and some other descendents lived to 3/400 etc, even the longest reigning ones only spent like 150 years on the throne at most. Not so with Elros. Elros’ ass was parked firmly on the throne for four hundred years straight. And Númenor is canonically a swift-advancing society right. Four hundred years is a wacky amount of time. In terms of technological advancement at least. Imagine Queen Elizabeth the First was still kicking around on the throne right now. Imagine her managing Brexit and having to do a TikTok dance to get tourists into Buckingham Palace. Imagine the President was still George Washington. Imagine George Washington having to deal with ChatGPT and taking publicity photos with Beyoncé. Imagine Emperor Jahangir encountering a Big Mac.
And it’s even funnier with Elros because this guy wasn’t just raised by elves, he was raised by—due to kidnap-adoption circumstance—the fucking Noldor of all elves. Not just any Noldor but a son of Fëanor, freshly departed from the courtly halls of Aman. They invented the world ‘nostalgia’ when the guy who wrote the dictionary took one look at Maglor Fëanorian. What’s more, he grew up in what was the most devastating war the world had ever seen. So I am sure that Elros’ views are somewhat archaic at best. He makes your extremely conservative grandpa sound like Che Guevera.
Oh, and elves are technically hardier etc, so any time there’s a shortage in Númenor this guy is literally out here saying ‘let them eat cake’ and genuinely means it well, because he, Elros Tar-Minyatur, has on multiple occasions survived by eating one small bite of cake a day. I just know that in the last fifty years of his reign, he blanket vetoed every single workplace hazard control measure because he thinks ‘health and safety has gone mad’. He doesn’t see the point of paving a road. He tries to outlaw whatever the Númenorean version of a miniskirt is and his daughter has to literally threaten him out of it. The whole ‘dancing bears’ thing happened because the wrong people caught Elros and his hunting buddies having yet another post-hunt cock measuring competition and afterparty at the ripe young age of 250 and the royal PR team had to come up with something. And does his language shift and adapt to the needs of society? Absolutely not. In his last decade, 80% of his vocabulary is considered a slur.
And the cherry on this cake? The cherry on this cake is the fact that, once again canonically, my guy Elros was pretty young and spry until he was literally dying. And I assume that meant he also looked pretty young and spry because there’s no way for a human body to look 500 years old. So imagine sitting in at the royal council trying to, idk, bring forth the idea of indoor plumbing and the crankiest old man stands up and gives a speech about how in HIS day people just shat in a pot under the bed and emptied it the next day and HE’S five hundred years old so CLEARLY it’s not going to kill people to not have a sewage system. “I pissed in a pot the day I was born and I pissed in a pot this morning, and I’ll piss in a pot on my deathday” and you can’t even go ‘okay grandpa time for bed’ and wheel him out. Because he’s 6’4 and built like a brick shithouse and has the smoothest skin you have ever seen. ‘Grandpa’ would put you in a fucking headlock if you tried to wheel him to bed. ‘Grandpa’ is your king.
Also the fact that he just randomly decided to die at 500. My personal headcanon here is that that was the morning he woke up with his first hangover ever. He has spent 400 years drinking and fucking and eating enough for ten people and one fine morning he wakes up with a mildly dry mouth and a slight headache. Motherfucker marches off to his son’s room, throws the door open, fucking yeets the crown onto his head, and promptly lays down to die because a world in which he, Elros Tar-Minyatur, is subject to a mild hangover, is not a world which he, Elros Tar-Minyatur, wishes to occupy.
Think about that. The Peredhel line, mired in tragedy, sunk neck deep in mortal consequences and political suicides and passive endurance. And this one guy, who one hundred percent had a fuckchair that he used to his dying day, who chose to die when he did purely because his life was fucking great and he wanted to go out on a high.
What a hopeful mythos!!!
What I’m trying to say here is, we have so much wonderful fiction about Elros the Menace as a child, yet not nearly enough conceptions of Elros the Menace as an adult. I know that the entirety of the palace in Númenor tried to bell him like a cat by the time he reached 450. His ministers would draw straws every year to see which one of them had to crawl up to the palace and beg him to abdicate. And each time, he would say ‘lol no’ except he wouldn’t even do that, he would make his pet monkey do it. Because he has a small pet Capuchin monkey to which he taught sign language. Because he’s a peacetime king and is 499 years old and he was born in a war and if he wants a pet monkey to speak for him, then by god will a pet monkey speak for him so you better fucking address Elros Tar-Minyatur’s pet monkey as your royal highness or get executed for treason at dawn.
Please help me go into remission from Type II diabetes
Hello everyone, I am so sorry to remake this post, but I am very scared. I am experiencing embarassing and vulnerable symptoms- my type II diabetes is becoming progressive, and I am desperate to go into remission. It has affected my liver and my heart, and neuropathy has made me partially incontinent. On April I was hospitalized twice. I have no thyroid, and without medication, it will put me into a myxedema coma and will kill me within days. Hypothyroidism and type II diabetes is making it very difficult for me to find work, as I am from the global south (the Philippines), with government aid only covering 20,000 pesos (around 326 usd) a year. I am the only person in my family who can work; my mother is paralyzed from a brain injury, and my sister is autistic with a very low frustration threshold. I need help covering for my new medication, as I now take metformin twice a day, and phosphates to help with my liver and kidneys, and b complex to help bolster my immune system. Im sorry I keep remaking this post, I am alone and desperate. Community is all I have. Thank you so much for your endless grace and compassion.
Please come buy my prints!
Shop gallery quality Art Prints by Caleb.
https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/littlestpersimmon/
I have 400 exclusive artwork on patreon for only a dollar a month!
https://www.patreon.com/littlestpersimmon
creating eerie crests, and other things.
You can also submit a tip here if yohd like, I promise I will do everything I can to give back to the community when I am in a better position to
Go to paypal.me/calebhosalla and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
Hey everyone, I am sorry for incessantly reblogging this. For pride I am asking for mutual aid. I got laid off at work. As contract says, I will not be getting paid outside of a kiIl fee, which I have no word on when I will receive. I am really struggling with the rising cost of everything, as I am the only caretaker of a family of four and our four cats. My mother is also severely disabled with liver failure. Im at my wits end just trying to keep afloat. Thank you so much
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Tolkien conspiracy theory #whatever: There's the stereotype that humans are way grosser and just generally dirtier than elves, which comes off as like some racist bullshit, but then the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. The way that humans develop immune systems (from what I remember as someone who is not a science nerd) is basically how we do vaccines: you expose yourself to smaller amounts of bacteria so that your body can get used to it and develop ways to combat more bacteria over time. If you lived in a sterile bubble for your entire life and then went out into the big, wide world, you'd practically immediately get sick and die. So, while humans are over here throwing their kids into mud pits because it's "character building" or whatever, the immortal "literally can't get sick" elves are regularly wiping down their counterspaces bc they don't need outside exposure to bacteria to be able to tolerate it, and thus it's just gross to them.
Me: finally succumbs to the impulse to get Tumblr so that I can look at pretty art and talk about my fandom obsessions without needing to be embarassed bc no one knows me
Also me: purely posts about my current hyperfixation, which happens to be one I'm not embarrassed about, and fears posting about other fandoms bc I'm not in as deep as everyone else yet/i fear being judged by my new online peers (hello yes that's you nice to see ya)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
me: actually if i was going to handle silmarils i no longer have any right to because i killed people and shit, i would simply not touch them bare handed. i, being an intellectual who knows that these stones burned the innards of a literal werewolf, a creature whose own stomach acids probably had the same corrosive effect as lava, am perfectly aware that my silly little tummy (which throws tantrums about dairy) is no match. a silmaril would give me instant stigmata. carve a perfect tunnel through my flesh. i, being clever and possessing the ability to look up at the sky, am equally aware that eärendil’s newest labret piercing being visible to the naked eye from the stratosphere makes it pretty clear that the thing is probably very bright. as bright as a star. neil armstrong walked on the moon in a space suit. he did not wank off the stars in his birthday suit. all things considered, i, unlike maedhros fëanorian who spent the first 500 years of his life eating hot chip, specialising in himbodom, lying, and not educating himself on basic physics, i would be trotting away peacefully from eönwë’s camp, my silmarils clenched victoriously in
some close-ups because I spent so much time looking at them so you have to as well:
anyway I make caranthir wear an absurd amount of gold because I think he has that Rich Person™ obsession with coating everything in glit to a garish degree.
Cause like. Listen. Its an absolute tragedy and horrific that Celegorm's servants left Eluréd and Elurín in the woods. Objectively awful and im not saying its not but im thinking very much about how they (and Elwing, though she survives and makes it to the Havens) are the child victims most focused on in the kinslayings but its highly unlikely that they were the only child victims, at the absolute bare minimum children died due to both kinslayings, i mean fuck its the fall of cities. People die when cities fall. Lack of food, water, injuries left untreated, harsh conditions with no shelter and honestly I don't think Eluréd and Elurín were the only children who were murdered/abandoned/lost nor was Elwing the only child to live with the trauma and terror of what happened only to face it again at the Havens. But we hear their stories because (they're narratively important) they're royalty. I cant help but wonder about all the non-royal/noble children and what happened to them. Maedhros searched for Eluréd and Elurín but was there a search for non royal children?
In a similar vein to this, I think a lot about how there was probably a lot of other half-elves, but unlike Melian's line, they weren't part maia or descendants of Great Human Houses from the first age. Like they said, "narratively important". But another fun (i.e., tragic) thing to think about is that "narrative importance" isn't just a fourth wall thing in Tolkien works, it's literally how people are perceived within the canon, soooooo........ Does that mean that within the world, no one knows about the other half-elves? Were they deliberately written out of history? Did Elrond try to hide them from prying eyes due to prejudice, or maybe in an effort to hide them from the eyes and Dooms of the Valar? Because if there's one thing that's consistent within Middle Earth its that being "narratively important" basically means your life is an endless tragedy.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
discoholicmusic
blakekathryn
stormborns
gracieabrams
ellievsbear
amandla
pixelskylines
2087
