Do Not Fear, Bored Queer is Here

Little closeup

Pocket dimensions and keys and pictures.

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So’lek couldn’t sleep.

 Not while his brain whirred with thoughts. Rosters to review, errands to keep track of. Soldiers to hunt.

 He sat outside the cave hidden away in a small nook in a tree. His back pressed on the bark, the rough surface scratching the skin that wasn’t covered with his protective gear.

You softly stepped to him, leaves crunching below your feet. So’lek’s ears perk, his tail pointing up mid-air.

“It is me Ma So’lek” You whisper out softly, your body glowing softly in the dark light.

So’lek’s stern expression melted into something soft and gooey as he stood to see you. “You should be resting.” His hands come to your sides, enveloping your waist as he pulls you close.

“I can say the same about you.” Your hands travel down from his shoulders to his forearms to hold onto them lightly. Your thumbs softly caressing the rough scarred skin that adorned his arms.

“I cannot sleep.” A sigh escaped his lips looking down at you, his hands grazing your skin. “Need to think, sort my thoughts out.”

You tilted your head at him with a small frown. “At least go to sleep soon, you need rest. You are working too hard.”

So’lek nodded. He knew he was. Every moment of his life was being consumed by the work he threw himself into only able to be torn away from it by the likes of you. “I will.” He leant down placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Go on, get back inside it is late.” You smiled as his lips met your skin stepping away as you headed back for your cot inside.

The mission went south almost as soon as it had started.

You were careless. Firing on a RDA soldier without checking the rest of the perimeter, instantly alerting the entire facility of the ‘enemies’ on the premises.

You disappeared into the chaos quickly, smoke covering your shadow. Disappearing into the gunfire for just a moment too long.

A moment that almost broke So’lek.

You were too fast to follow, carelessly running headfirst into the battle as if you had nothing to lose. But as So’lek called out to you he realised he had everything to lose.

By the time you two had regrouped back at Resistance adrenaline rushed through his veins, sharp and unforgiving. His hands shook as he gripped onto his rifle planting his feet onto the soil desperately trying to clutch himself back to reality.

You found So’lek standing in the clearing outside the Resistance entrance. He was almost frozen looking out towards him his ribs trembling with every exhale.

“Ma So’lek” Your words were careful as you approached him from behind “Priya wanted to talk to you-”

“What were you thinking?” He snapped, his voice acting like a blade cutting into you.

Your eyes widened. You had never seen him like this. Chest heaving, eyes wide, ears and tail stiff and threatening.

“You were careless.” He continued stepping closer to you. “You know better.”

“I did not see the other on patrol.” You let out a shaky exhale. Your confusion bleeding into defensiveness. “I had it under control…eventually.”

So’lek let out a quiet hiss of disapproval.

“And what if you didn’t get it under control?” His body seethed, eyes wide with anger. “What if you-” His voice cracked. “What if you had been shot?”

Your speech faltered. “I wasn’t. It’s fine.”

“Fine?” So’lek’s voice was low, a vicious tone biting you in the heart. “This is far from fine.” His fists clenched tightly as he let out a shaky exhale. “You always do this. You take risks. You are careless. And I am left behind you-” His eyes shut tightly trying to get rid of the image he was conjuring in his head.

Blood spurting out of your skin, taking your last breath because he wasn’t fast enough to save you.

You voice was softer now, your hand wrapping around his forearm trying to ground him. “So’lek…I can take care of myself.”

His control shattered. Quick and brittle as his head shot up to look you in your eye. “No.” A sharp breath. “No! You cannot. You always need to be watched. As if you cannot help yourself from throwing yourself into a situation much bigger than you.”

His words hung between you. Cruel, unforgiving and heart-breaking.

Your arm drops from his. Your heart tightening in your chest. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” His words were sharp shooting you right where it hurt. “You are always causing trouble. I cannot do anything on a mission because I cannot take my eyes off you. In case you throw yourself into reckless danger once again.”

Your eyes burned, hands shaking as you took a small step away from him. Yet watching you distance yourself felt like there was a sea of woes between you.

“Is that what you think of me?” It was weak, voice cracking as you wouldn’t dare to look him in the eyes.

So’lek broke out of his angry haze as he heard your voice crack. Simultaneously cracking his heart. “That is not-”

You cut him off, pain bleeding through your composure as your lips quivered. “I didn’t know I was such an inconvenience.”

The moment the words left your mouth his face drained of colour. All the anger in his body churning into horror as he looked at what his words had done to you.

The regret hit him like a physical blow, hands shaking to reach out to you. His mouth opening and closing as he struggled to find the right words.

You turned away before he could reach you, before he could utter an apology.

my second try in heavypaint! some kinks to iron out (exporting gif was a nightmare so i just made it myself) but overall, quite fun