this reminds me of a... speedrunner!

oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

did u know that sesame street did columbo parodies where he is a sheep and his name is colambo

Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

burnout from not doing anything

at the library waiting to be picked up like it's 2001 or something.

i'm sorry i meant like picked up in a car. by my friend. because i don't have my bike today. i'm not cruising at the library. and if i were i would not have time to post about it. my methods are infallible.

you don’t need to reinvent yourself this summer; you simply need to return to the things that make you feel most like you

I'm a time traveller from the 20th century. I travelled 26 years into the future to deliver this message. At a speed of 1 year per year

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

i thought they were bees.

oh my fucking god. oh my god. it can't possibly look like that to you

There is absolutely a platonic explanation for that

But I will also entertain the non platonic for my own edification do u understand

Everytime i ventpost on reddit they try to diagnose my mother with something

They cant decide between armchair diagnosing this random woman theyve known for a paragraph with npd or aspd

Meanwhile i inherited autism from her can we talk about the fact that i herited autism from her. I feel like thats a crucial missing piece in the puzzle