bluhhhh

#2, Brute?

I made the ugliest noise.

It’s not even March. It’s literally more than 6 months till the ides of March. Why.

TODAY

#2, Brute?

I made the ugliest noise.

It’s not even March. It’s literally more than 6 months till the ides of March. Why.

TODAY

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

today during lunch a kid and i were debating the gender of god and he said “god’s a man in the bible” and i said “i’m pretty sure god is technically nonbinary or genderfluid, but let me check that” and i unzipped my backpack and the boy said “what’s she doing?” and my friend replied “she’s getting her bible” and i’m not sure how he felt when i set it down on the lunch table and flipped open to genesis but i definitely felt amazing.

op ur url says it all

this actually made me start to cry

DISGUSTANG

today i told my manager "just because i can handle anything doesn't mean i should have to" and if that isn't just the motto of my life

it's the working class struggle!

oh honey they are fully dead

No but Toph was a professional earthbending wrestler with the power to feel the whole human body at once through vibrations with enough accuracy to tell lies. She knows exactly how much pressure the human body can take before important things start breaking or I’ll go buy a hat for the sole purpose of eating it.

oh, sure. she doesn’t care though. she’s 12 and she’s thriving and she loves to murder

Galaxy brain version of the woman who voted for the leopards eating people’s faces party

i kinda feel bad for oedipus b/c everyone assumes he chose to fuck his mom when in fact he went out of his way to avoid it. he left his hometown and distanced himself from his parents because he was afraid he would somehow get tricked into fucking his mom. everything could have been avoided if his adopted parents told him he was adopted.

also the point of the myth is supposed to show how despite your best efforts no mortal can thwart fate but also? what the fuck? the whole thing was an oracle telling laius that his son was going to murder him and fuck his wife. that shit came out of nowhere. he didn’t offend the gods or anything. they just decided for no reason other than the world is fucked up sometimes.

You’re assuming the gods are ruled by logic and not by zeus nudging poseidon and saying “hey you know what would be so fucking funny”

This is so accurate

Turning 6 and immediately hating barney the dinosaur is a childhood rite of passage so to say the least I'm curious to see how they'll tackle this befuddling multi-million dollar motion picture

We're always talking about gut-punches on this site but this is a fucking surprise roundhouse in the back of the head.

DAAaHRLINg,

god used up all the confidence-to-talk-to-women making anne lister and now the rest of us have to make do

This is some god tier photoshopping.

what continuously amazes me about the mcelroys is that justin looks like a gay elf, and travis looks like a portland barista who takes regular business trips to narnia. they both look like weird, cool, funny guys. but then griffin looks like if you hit ‘random’ on a character generator for a game exclusively about tax accountants. he looks like he was born with a polo shirt on. he looks like both his first and last names are jeff. he looks like he organizes socks for fun, and then he opens his mouth and says something funny enough that you rupture all your internal organs laughing about it. it’s incredible.  

i just want to say that the first time i saw griffin in the wwe monster factory video (i think), i was floored. i couldn’t believe my eyes. he was exactly like op says and i was not prepared for that at all and i was unable to process anything for days