Oopsdontkillme

i still don’t fully understand what homecoming is and it’s happening next month please help me

i feel like i should know more than i do and that i’m weird for not knowing

u ever go take a piss at a party and as soon as u close the door u feel like ur in a different dimension

save point

a zebra is just a horse that thinks it’s special

i don’t know why this is so fucking funny but IT IS

Hatsune Miku cures depression!

Its 4:30 in the AM and I am fucking LOSING it over this

In the near future, you are making dinner because you are about to meet your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. All you have in the kitchen is cooked frozen steaks. In walks your girlfriend and her dad, Gordon Ramsey.

This isn’t a prompt, this a fully finished horror story

the horror story is about how my girlfriend needs to leave immediately because i’m going to fuck her dad

i’m trapped in your attic

listen im not intrested

Fuckers stole my stock photo. can’t have shit on this site

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

Reblog to save a life