Pizza Princess

funniest Kamala Harris VP picks go

I'll start. Bruce Springsteen

Joe Biden

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it

and the cautionary conclusion: the media has consumed me

adhd is stored in the ass

the a in adhd stands for ass

What do the other letters stand for then?

Ass Don't Have Dopamine

@shitpostsampler can I please have a pattern for adhd is stored in the ass

fuckin lol

Another day, another politician that thinks Trump doing something they do means Trump should get all the criticism instead of realizing they’re both wrong

The difference here is that Trump spends tax payer money for his golfing and AOC spent her own paycheck on a video game to unwind. They literally aren’t the same thing at all

Right, where do you think that paycheck comes from?

Were you born this stupid or did you have to work at it?

Ok, just to be clear, do politicians get payed with tax money or not?

If you honestly think a government employee spending their own salary is functionally identical to charging leisure trips to your own golf courses to an expense account and billing the Secret Service for being there, just because they’re both paid for with taxpayer money, I can’t help you.

But what’s the difference in the end? They both paid for something with taxpayer money.

me seeing the mailman buying twizzlers at the grocery store: wtf that’s my taxpayer money

I used to work for the council, and my salary bought many video games. Come fight me about it if you like.

maybe its silly but i always love hearing about/seeing people in actual plays being genuine friends like…idk hearing that its not just for the screen and the d20 cast have in jokes with the dice where they dunk on murph just. idk it makes me feel really happy and warm to know that it’s not just on screen, that they’re really enjoying themselves and making the show is Fun for them.

Razzing is Murph’s love language and I’m glad his friends respect that in the best way possible

me, a legal adult: when i grow up,

oh, to be the owner of a small bookshop on a cobblestone street with roses climbing the front of the building, where books are stacked about in piles and there’s always coffee brewing and a sleepy shop dog lifts his head at the sound of the door’s bell and thumps his tail against the hardwood

stop shaming people for being passionate about the things that they love. stop mocking people for having unusual interests. like, honestly, i'm so tired of feeling embarrassed for being "too much". if being too much means having deep interests that fill my life with romanticism and excitement, then let me be!!! i'd much rather listen to anyone ranting about their latest obsession with 16th century swords than have a boring ordinary conversation with those who shame passionate people

she is intense

new cat

His new buff gf

i love them both.

Oh that’s nice the dog met another OH MY LORD THATS A PANTHER

i love watching actors pretend to drink from empty cups. they can’t do it. it’s like they never drank anything in real life. doesn’t matter if they went to julliard or yale or have an egot or played hamlet on the west end. time traveling? fighting aliens? finding seth rogen attractive? no problem. but give them an empty cup and gravity fights against them. their imagination has limits.

have you ever tried to do it? to make an empty cup appear full? to pretend to drink air in between saying lines and hitting marks? do you know what it’s like to have gravity turn its back on you in front of a crowd? when there is nothing in your hand but a plastic cup filled with oxygen and everyone knows it including god? huh? you coward? you clown of all clowns?

nope! acting is the devil’s sport!

Fact: Bisexuals don’t need to pick a side, however, when they reach the age of 12, they must pick a sword. It’s an ancient ritual.

You fool… The sword choses the Bisexual.

A few people have asked what happens if you hadn’t realised you’re sexuality at that age. Some bisexuals will intuitively pick or forge a sword before even realising their sexuality, though if this wasn’t you, don’t worry - you can choose a sword any time within a 2 year period of identifying as bi. Should you, however, miss the 2 year cut off, you can talk to the Bisexual Battalion Council though that’s a last resort as it’s a really bureaucratic process and they only ever reply to emails biannually (either twice a year or once every two years but they refuse to clarify which).

It’s obviously twice a year every two years

This makes everything so much worse somehow

None of these are wrong.

Reminder.

MAKE NAZIS AFRAID AGAIN

Punch more Nazis.