Odd, a human

Concept: A text-replacer extension which corrects “pandering to [group]” to “being enjoyable for people who are not me.”

That last one reads like horse_ebooks but also it’s my everyday life

the time is now

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

Reblogging for the matterhorn

Who are those white people though

^ this

Holy shit.

I like this already. Where can I play it and point others to play it too?

It's not actually functional yet :/ I was just too excited to wait to post screenshots

Holy shit.

Can…. can we play this game? Please?

It's more of a random snippet of JavaScript right now than an actual functional game. But soon!

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

this post had me in tears

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))

I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”

Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.

When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”

something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”

one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”

Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniffing me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like “hello” or “good morning” or “cute dog” or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying “thank you”. 

I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between “my drink!” and “my keys” and ended up screaming “MY KINK.”

I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, and i wanted to say “You have a good day” and “You too” so it came out “You have a good do do”

I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T

There’s so many new stories on this since the last time I saw it and fuck I am laughing so hard I think I’m annoying my roommate

These are too damn good to pass up reading!

Four years ago: in class, I meant to say “in-text citations” but thought “works cited” and also messed up the order of words all at once. I said “sex work in cites” and that was the end of class that day.

My college is tiny and my class was small enough that all the professors do a receiving line and shake the hands of all the graduates after the ceremony. They were all saying, “Congratulations.” And I was super flustered and realized about a third of the way down the line that I was saying, “Congratulations” back to each professor. So then I said, “You’re welcome.” And then I just made mumbly sounds and waited for it to be over. 

I stayed up late talking to a friend on Skype and France came up for some reason, so I said I could never live in France because I don’t know Spanish. He made me go to bed after that.

I was working at a doctor’s office and someone called asking me to fax them a document. I faxed it while on the phone and told them it was done. They said “thank you” and I think I was trying to say “no problem” but ended up just saying “no” and hanging up

back when i was in highschool, i was answering a question about a text the teacher gave us and i was hesitating between saying “what this means to say” and “the meaning of this text” and i blurted out “the meaning of this sex” while looking my teacher dead in the eye. He dismissed us because he was laughing too hard.

I was talking to a friend of mine and I tried saying “go suck a dick” and “go fuck yourself” at the same time and it came out “go fuck your dick”

I’m in tears. This post is amazing.

Today I described my unemployed friend as a “free-range artist” (I meant “free-lance”)