lost souls in revelry

okay that was not my last straw but i have maybe 3 to 4 straws left at most so watch out.

tonight i am thinking about book shane saying “they weren’t you” when ilya asks him about the two other guys he hooked up with. and just. the implications of that. they weren’t you. almost the entire foundation of what i know about sex has been built around you. imagine my surprise when i hooked up with other people and they didn’t grab my jaw and kiss me soft and all over. they didn’t pin my wrists above my head or make me cum without touching me. what did i think about? nothing. everything. the fact that i am ruined for anyone else. that i didn’t even let them kiss me on the mouth because i didn’t want to erase the last time you did it. that i didn’t want to be there at all and it wasn’t the first time i’ve had that feeling. because i never desired anyone before you and i’ll never desire anyone else again. they weren’t you.

when brandon sanderson talks about villains in his famous free youtube writing class video lectures he'll say 'what's the difference between gollum and sauron' and of course he means the villain that's present in the narrative and characterized in a way the audience can potentially relate to or sympathize with vs. the looming threatening anonymous far-off force (among other things). but every time he asks that i think 'well one of those guys tracked down frodo and got his ring back'

everyone making fun of hollanov for not having the domestic wherewithal that scott hunter does but you have to remember that hunter is five million years old and has probably been looking to settle down since before the new millennium while shane just discovered what being gay is and ilya just discovered the concept of being in a relationship