an impassé

You still hungry Edward? How about a knuckle sandwich?

I just saw a masterpiece on twitter today

twilight christmas:

“when you write a lullaby for your girlfriend but she never wants to sleep again”

Bella’s thoughts: [...]

I realize that Hogwarts Houses are out of fashion these days but I just need to say that anyone who says that Carlisle isn’t a Ravenclaw is flat out Wrong.

I had to do it

rosalie after suddenly waking up as a vampire and realising her fiancé left her for dead

so we all remember how bella called edward a “stupid, shiny volvo owner” and we’re all aware that means that edward is a stupid owner of a shiny volvo. however, simply by adding a single comma we can improve upon an already brilliant sentence because edward is undeniably a stupid and shiny owner of a volvo.